Perhaps the top underlying subplot in the NL East this year (besides the number of Nationals who wind up sticking their foot in their mouth) is the zaniness that is the Miami Marlins, the Phillies' opponent for today's home opener.

On Friday, we told you about Ozzie Guillen’s alcoholism and owner Jeffrey Loria’s ridiculous cake. But today, things get even wackier for those Hispanic Fish.

1) Ozzie Guillen on CUBAN DICTATOR FIDEL CASTRO: [Miami Herald]

“I respect Fidel Castro,” Guillén is quoted as saying in the online article. “You know why? Many people have tried to kill Fidel Castro in the last 60 years, yet that [SOB] is still there.”

After an obvious response from Marlins management, Guillen was forced to soften his stance: 

“I’m against the way he [Castro] treats people and the way [he has treated] his country for a long time. I’m against that 100 percent,” he said. “…The way this man [has been] treating people for the last 60 years.”

2) During their home opener last Wednesday, one stadium bar – The Clevelander – afforded patrons the opportunity to WATCH NAKED CHICKS GET BODYPAINTED. Let me repeat that: THE CLEVLANDER BAR, LOCATED INSIDE THE MARLINS' NEW STADIUM, AFFORDED YOU, THE BASEBALL FAN, THE OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH NAKED WOMEN GET BODYPAINTED. 

The women, sadly, had pasties on… but that hardly diminished the event:

[Our friends at Busted Coverage put together an entire gallery]

3) The Los Marlinos traveled to Philly in style (?) yesterday: [The Fish Pond] 

That there is Giancarlo Stanton, Randy Choate, Ricky Nolasco and Josh Johnson.

Welcome to Miami.