Oh Those Crazy Marlins

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Perhaps the top underlying subplot in the NL East this year (besides the number of Nationals who wind up sticking their foot in their mouth) is the zaniness that is the Miami Marlins, the Phillies' opponent for today's home opener.

On Friday, we told you about Ozzie Guillen’s alcoholism and owner Jeffrey Loria’s ridiculous cake. But today, things get even wackier for those Hispanic Fish.

1) Ozzie Guillen on CUBAN DICTATOR FIDEL CASTRO: [Miami Herald]

“I respect Fidel Castro,” Guillén is quoted as saying in the online article. “You know why? Many people have tried to kill Fidel Castro in the last 60 years, yet that [SOB] is still there.”


After an obvious response from Marlins management, Guillen was forced to soften his stance: 

“I’m against the way he [Castro] treats people and the way [he has treated] his country for a long time. I’m against that 100 percent,” he said. “…The way this man [has been] treating people for the last 60 years.”


2) During their home opener last Wednesday, one stadium bar – The Clevelander – afforded patrons the opportunity to WATCH NAKED CHICKS GET BODYPAINTED. Let me repeat that: THE CLEVLANDER BAR, LOCATED INSIDE THE MARLINS' NEW STADIUM, AFFORDED YOU, THE BASEBALL FAN, THE OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH NAKED WOMEN GET BODYPAINTED. 

The women, sadly, had pasties on… but that hardly diminished the event:

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[Our friends at Busted Coverage put together an entire gallery]

3) The Los Marlinos traveled to Philly in style (?) yesterday: [The Fish Pond

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That there is Giancarlo Stanton, Randy Choate, Ricky Nolasco and Josh Johnson.

Welcome to Miami.

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  • Toneloc April 9, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    Sign Cole Hamels

  • 3 Finger Lenny April 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    I would fuck that kid up in that suit & lick the paint off those bitches

  • ThePhillyFlash April 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Someone tell those wannabe pimps that the pastel look died out with Miami Vice.

  • K harp April 9, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    Galvis sucks

  • Ron Hipple April 9, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    Phils stink

  • Penguins fan who goes to Temple April 9, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    I would fist that whore on the right

  • NickFromGermantown April 9, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    If you have every been to Miami and, more specifically, South Beach, this should come as no surprise. The Clevelander on South Beach regularly does body painting.

  • Kenny Junod April 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    So much slamming pussy in Miami

  • Penguins fan who goes to Temple April 9, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    I got a blowjob from a tranny on south beach last year

  • Penguins fan who goes to Temple** April 9, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    Stop stealing my name handle pussy!!
    BTW how bout those phils???
    Iron City What!!!!!

  • The General Public April 9, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    Your “handle”? Just when I thought you couldn’t be any gayer.

  • Ricky Ricky Ricky April 9, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    Fuck the Phillies… Go fish!!!!

  • Penguins fan who goes to Temple** April 9, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    Those girls would be great if they were men. I love men.

  • Propper April 9, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    @Penguins fan who goes to Temple- nice name douche.

  • Flyers in 7 April 9, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    I hope holgram wasn’t drinking

  • Guy who fucked Pens fan who goes to Temple's girlfriend April 10, 2012 at 6:46 am

    I’m the man

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