Today in NATITUDE: A Lackluster Crowd Was On Hand To See Stephen Strasburg Pitch With Icy Hot On His Balls

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A huge turnout of 23,902 was on hand yesterday to watch Stephen Strasburg struggle through four innings… mostly because he had Hot Stuff* on his balls.

*That’s capitalized– it’s not some foreign bimbo… it’s an ointment.

We’ll let Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post fill you in:

In an unusual postgame revelation, Manager Davey Johnson volunteered just how tough. Strasburg, Johnson said, had applied the analgesic ointment Hot Stuff to loosen up, and somehow, it had covered an area that would affect a pitcher’s performance.

“I can’t really tell you what the problem was, but some Hot Stuff got misplaced,” Johnson said. “It was on his shoulder and evidently — I don’t know how it got to where it got, but it was uncomfortable, to say the least.”

 

What a pussy he is. Roger Clemens used to do this intentionally

Strasburg didn't want to talk about it:

 

It was only the second time in 25 career starts for Strasburg that he’s allowed more than three earned runs, and presumably the first time he’s done so with great balls of fire. 

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Ouch.

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12 Responses

  1. Mark Zuckerman was great in the social network.

  2. reminds me of revenge of the nerds prank when ogar got it bad from the nerds

  3. Whoa! Talk about a fire down below! Only in gNatitude could something like this happen! HA!

  4. Frankly, I’m a bit disappointed with Strasburg. Using icy hot as a masturbation lube is a rookie mistake. Real professionals use YK.

  5. Commenter ‘You are all idiots’ smooched his balls and taint with hot stuff on his lips. He also rubbed some on his nose and rubbed it in between Bryce Harper’s ass crack.

  6. Laugh it up, Philly. You are still below .500 and in last place. Keep that in mind.

  7. I sympathize with Strasburg on this one. I rubbed Icy Hot on my sore pussy once, and the mean Philly fans heckled me for it.

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