If getting shit on by a bird is good luck, what is dropping your Cliff Lee bobblehead into a pile of puke? Because that’s what happened to me last night in a scene that was oh-so congruent with the Phillies losing to the Dodgers on a cold, wet, and dreary night in South Philadelphia.
I had accidentally knocked the box carrying my bobblehead against my left knee, which sent it tumbling onto the sidewalk and into a pile of throw-up in the CBP Parking lot.
Ms. CB: Just let it go, Kyle. You can put mine in your new office, along with all the bobbleheads of aging, injured and non-existent Phillies.
Me: Nonsense! I didn’t sit through three hours of miserable baseball only to leave behind Lee. He’s coming home with me.
I turned and looked longinglee at my new collectible, which was staring right back at me with sad eyes and a still ironic chin.
I’m going back.
No, don’t. That’s gross.
It was too late. I was already walking toward the box, which was semi-covered in human regurgitant. Like Pedro Cerrano attending to an injured bird in Major League II, I was going to save my bobblesteed. I proceeded to remove the plastic innards from the box, leaving the dampened remains behind.
A lady walked up to it and said, “Hey, you know there’s a trash can over there, right?”
“Yeah, lady, I see that. But the box is covered in puke,” I said. “It’s not happening.”
The lady gave me evil eye. She inspected it closer, seemingly contemplating whether she should be Al Gore for the evening or not. She too then noticed what the box had fallen into and decided to walk on.
Anyway, there’s not a point to that story, but it seemed to sum up a miserable night in South Philly. At least Lee was able to join his friends:
Breaking down the bobblehead, we find that it is mostly accurate. The motion is nearly perfect. The chin, ironic. And even Lee’s pants-over-cleat look is represented here. But the beard is off. Lee has mostly black facial hair and a distinct swirly cowlick near the corners of each jaw. The bobblehead has the grain going in the opposite direction. We’ll give it a 7 out of 10. Bonus points for a picture of Lee batting on the box, though. How often do you see that on a pitcher's bobblehead?
Old Jimmy Rollins returned last night. After hearing it a bit when he popped out in the third inning, Rollins legged out a triple on a ball hit to left-center in the fifth. It was his FU moment of the night.
Pitched two innings in a tie game last night. That is all.
Stars of the Game
The in-park Stars of the Game segment now features Ty Wigginton. Somehow, the ballpark ops folks found enough footage to fill two minutes without dipping into spring training highlights.
Despite the empty seats, Phillies VP of Sales and Ticker Operations John Weber says the team is only selling 600 or 700 fewer tickets per game:
Last season, on the heels of signing Cliff Lee and while winning a club-record 102 games, Weber said the Phillies were at "103 or 104 percent" capacity – an average of more than 45,400. This year, Weber says, the team is still over capacity, but is selling "600 or 700 seats less than last year."
But he is quick to remind that the Phillies are doing extraordinarily well. "We are approaching 3.4 million tickets sold," he says. "I guarantee you that no team in baseball has that many tickets sold."
That quote part of a very candid interview Weber did with the Daily News.