(Late) Morning Wood: Cold, Damp and Lifeless

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If getting shit on by a bird is good luck, what is dropping your Cliff Lee bobblehead into a pile of puke? Because that’s what happened to me last night in a scene that was oh-so congruent with the Phillies losing to the Dodgers on a cold, wet, and dreary night in South Philadelphia.

I had accidentally knocked the box carrying my bobblehead against my left knee, which sent it tumbling onto the sidewalk and into a pile of throw-up in the CBP Parking lot.

Ms. CB: Just let it go, Kyle. You can put mine in your new office, along with all the bobbleheads of aging, injured and non-existent Phillies. 

Me: Nonsense! I didn’t sit through three hours of miserable baseball only to leave behind Lee. He’s coming home with me. 

I turned and looked longinglee at my new collectible, which was staring right back at me with sad eyes and a still ironic chin. 

I’m going back.

No, don’t. That’s gross.

It was too late. I was already walking toward the box, which was semi-covered in human regurgitant. Like Pedro Cerrano attending to an injured bird in Major League II, I was going to save my bobblesteed. I proceeded to remove the plastic innards from the box, leaving the dampened remains behind.

A lady walked up to it and said, “Hey, you know there’s a trash can over there, right?”

“Yeah, lady, I see that. But the box is covered in puke,” I said. “It’s not happening.”

The lady gave me evil eye. She inspected it closer, seemingly contemplating whether she should be Al Gore for the evening or not. She too then noticed what the box had fallen into and decided to walk on.

Anyway, there’s not a point to that story, but it seemed to sum up a miserable night in South Philly. At least Lee was able to join his friends:

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Let’s Wood!

Bobblehead

Breaking down the bobblehead, we find that it is mostly accurate. The motion is nearly perfect. The chin, ironic. And even Lee’s pants-over-cleat look is represented here. But the beard is off. Lee has mostly black facial hair and a distinct swirly cowlick near the corners of each jaw. The bobblehead has the grain going in the opposite direction. We’ll give it a 7 out of 10. Bonus points for a picture of Lee batting on the box, though. How often do you see that on a pitcher's bobblehead?

 

J-Roll™

Old Jimmy Rollins returned last night. After hearing it a bit when he popped out in the third inning, Rollins legged out a triple on a ball hit to left-center in the fifth. It was his FU moment of the night.

 

Joe Savery 

Pitched two innings in a tie game last night. That is all.

 

Stars of the Game

The in-park Stars of the Game segment now features Ty Wigginton. Somehow, the ballpark ops folks found enough footage to fill two minutes without dipping into spring training highlights.

 

Sellout streak

Despite the empty seats, Phillies VP of Sales and Ticker Operations John Weber says the team is only selling 600 or 700 fewer tickets per game:

Last season, on the heels of signing Cliff Lee and while winning a club-record 102 games, Weber said the Phillies were at "103 or 104 percent" capacity – an average of more than 45,400. This year, Weber says, the team is still over capacity, but is selling "600 or 700 seats less than last year."

But he is quick to remind that the Phillies are doing extraordinarily well. "We are approaching 3.4 million tickets sold," he says. "I guarantee you that no team in baseball has that many tickets sold."

 

That quote part of a very candid interview Weber did with the Daily News.

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9 Comments

  • Hopdevil June 5, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    I was there minus the puke on my Cliff. They announced 45k+. Not even close to the actual gate. No way.

    Reply
  • Matt from Morton June 5, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    There were TONS of people standing under cover or in McFaddens (I was there with my wife as well last night). Dunno if it’s enough to overcome the discrepancy between numbers and empty seats, but it’s not inconceivable (INCON-THEE-VABLE!) that people bought game tix then stayed home because of the weather (who would blame em?).

    Reply
  • Shiva H. Vishnu June 5, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    Meanwhile, playing games that matter not in Philadelphia: Richards, Carter, Gagne, Williams. Four first-round picks.
    Golfing: Voracek, Simmonds, Schenn, Couturier.
    Whereabouts unknown: Danny Markov, Matt Walker

    Reply
  • bitch betta have mah HONEY June 5, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    we’ve been had. team buys tickets and resells on stub hub/through venders. alot’ve teams do this.
    that new tv contract coming up in the next few years is going to be huge. if they can’t clean up from that because of downward spiraling team…shit will get real, very, very quickly.

    Reply
  • boom June 5, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    @bitch betta have mah HONEY
    shittier teams with smaller markets have gotten huge tv deals, just because the phillies arent selling out doesnt equal to the stands being mostly empty and attendance of games has nothing to do with people watching games at home, which is still a very high number, which is what is going to drive the tv deal.
    as long as this team has the names of utley, howard, halladay, hamels(i pray), lee, ruiz, papelbon, pence in the mix, people are going to keep watching the team until it comes time for the new tv deal.

    Reply
  • boom June 5, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    @Shiva H. Vishnu
    and if the richards and carter deals aren’t made, both richards and carter are golfing with the rest of the flyers after losing to the penguins in the playoffs, like they always they did.
    what’s your point?

    Reply
  • F Boston June 5, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    @ Boom….Boom! Took the words out of my mouth. Too many morons still think Carts & Richie were traded together. I’m not anti these guys but come on, what’s going on in LALA land does not mean it would have happened here
    Also, empty seats don’t mean those tickets weren’t sold out. Shit happens, people don’t go. End of the day, keeping the sell out streak going is good. Get to summer, kids out of school, consistently better weather etc, butts in seats won’t be an issue.

    Reply
  • bitch betta have mah HONEY June 5, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    @ boom:
    I understand your optimism, but…
    Utley is cooked. His situation will be exactly what happened to brandon roy, but more drawn out because both he and the organization are in denial. Howard had a piece of his achilles removed. muscle or tendon, we aren’t starfish and that shit doesn’t just magically regenerate. not sure what sort of expectations people have for howard, but his power will not be the same, period. hamels? would you stay here for a team that has no offense, in the prime of your career, when a younger, better team will pay you more to be closer to your home?
    If you think the attendance doesn’t reflect overall TV ratings, I would say you’re wrong. It’s already summer. Kids are already home. They’re “selling out”, but I still haven’t seen the stadium packed (I’ve been to 6 games, 2 more recently). I’m just saying, it’s not a given they land a huge deal. They can’t be complacent with: a) a hitter to appease cole and b) cole.

    Reply
  • Uncle Meat June 6, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Kyle, don’t feel bad bout the bobble. A lot of them were cooked before they were even given out because apparently someone left them out in the rain. The boxes were water damaged.

    Reply
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