Screen Shot 2012-06-28 at 9.15.39 AM

Screen Shot 2012-06-28 at 9.19.46 AM

We were so close to seeing a The Man Game last night.  

So close yet a pitching staff away.

The Man Game and, similarly, the Harry Kalas Game are defined as:

The Man: Chase Utley wins it.

Harry Kalas Game: A friend of The Man game, this is one of those games where you just wish Harry were here to call it. Not necessarily an Aaron Heilman, more like a Panamanian Punch or an I Gotchu Game, where Harry would have just loved and appropriately called the magical moment. Also can be a history-making event (Doc’s no-hitter, etc.).


No such luck, though, mostly because, inexplicably, the Phillies couldn’t call up one able-bodied starter from three levels of minor leagues to pitch one game. Instead, they were stuck with Raul Valdes, Joe Savery, some other slops, and Chad Qualls. Qualls is exactly the type of motherfucker who just looks like he’s going to lose when he blumbers to the mound. I remember watching some ESPN special on the 1986 Red Sox, and I don’t know if it was Bill Simmons or someone else, but whoever it was said something to the effect of: “Once Bob Stanley came into Game 6 [against the Mets], you knew something bad was going to happen. He just had that typical Red Sox loser look. Kind of sad looking.”

That’s how I feel about Qualls. 

He way too much resembles the likes of Kevin Millwood, Adam Eaton and Jon Lieber. He has that Grimus, everything falls toward the mid-section pear shape… kind of dopey looking… fruity hair. It’s all there. For once, the Phillies were mounting a comeback. There was energy in the ballpark for the first time since the second inning of Game 2 of the NLDS. Chase’s knees were reattached. Quirky things (like Cliff Lee pinch hitting in the second inning) were happening. It was all ready to boil over as the Phillies pulled within one, at 8-7. 

Then, Fuckface: 

Screen Shot 2012-06-28 at 8.57.15 AM

Thanks for nothing. Phillies lose, 11-7. Chase’s 3-for-5 return? Ruined.


The Man

Here’s video of Chasey going yard in the first inning:



The Big Piece

Screen Shot 2012-06-28 at 8.59.27 AM

He’ll begin a rehab assignment tonight in Lakewood:

Awkward was a word assistant general manager Scott Proefrock used to describe what you might see from Howard as he leaves the batter's box.

"I'm not a trainer or a doctor or anything, but from talking to Scott, it's something he has to sort of relearn," Proefrock said, referring to head trainer Scott Sheridan. "It may look awkward initially, but it's something he has to get comfortable with. It's not something that is an issue with the Achilles or anything. It's something because of the inactivity; he has to get comfortable with the explosiveness part of it."


Chooch, You Son of a Bitch

As pointed out by several, Jim Thome appeared to call Chooch a son of a bitch after his first inning home run:

Video via (@DCOLLINS)


Call Me Maybe Tweet of the Day

Screen Shot 2012-06-28 at 9.21.56 AM

The reference.


Mens Room Photography

Screen Shot 2012-06-28 at 9.23.32 AM
Screen Shot 2012-06-28 at 9.23.32 AM

Sadly, I took two pictures in the mens room at last night’s game.


Win $100

Play our FREE, one-night only fantasy game tomorrow night. Only takes 10 seconds to pick your players. 


Support Our Site

Need Phillies tickets? Shop through Crossing Broad Tickets to find the best prices on secondary market seats.

Take 15% off at with code VOTE2012ASG. Shop here.

WILL FERRELL MOVIE QUIZZO tonight at Drinker's. Details.