Peter Nowak, Still Kind Of An Asshole

Screen Shot 2012-06-10 at 11.24.18 AMPhoto: Zimbio

Earlier this year, I described to you all the reasons why, from a relative distance, Union manager Peter Nowak appeared to be an asshole.

We have a new one. Maybe.

In a report in the Edinburgh Evening News, likely written by this guy…. 

Screen Shot 2012-06-10 at 11.20.24 AM 

… Nowak’s name was given as one of two men who submitted their resumes for an open managerial position with Hearts of the Scottish Premier League.

An excerpt, from Edinburgh: [I’d advise reading it while leaning back in your chair, swirling an expensive drink, and puffing on a pipe as you marvel at the ornate fixtures on your desk. Or just while staring down at your iPad in the shitter, like I just did.]

HEARTS director Sergejus Fedotovas today revealed the criteria for the club’s new manager as two experienced European coaches put their names forward for the vacancy. Ukrainian Oleg Protasov and Poland’s Piotr Nowak have both submitted CVs to Tynecastle in the hope of succeeding Paulo Sergio, who rejected a new contract offer from Hearts on Thursday evening.

Nowak is currently head coach of Philadelphia Union in the United States. He is 47 and has managed DC United and worked as an assistant coach with the USA national team. He speaks Polish, English, German, Russian and Turkish, and was twice named manager of the year in the United States.


Piotr is stuffy for Peter.

As you can see, Nowak may be quite qualified for the job… the problem is he still manages the Union, the local MLS team that just purged all of its identifiable stars for no apparent reason.

Speaking to local soccer writers, Nowak called the report “absolutely false.” But I’m not sure I believe that. What is he supposed to say, Yep, fuck this MLS shit, going to Scotland. They wear nice coats there? That wouldn’t work.

Perhaps Nowak applying for another job wouldn’t be that big of a deal had the Union not started the season 2-7-2 and just sold off yet another major player. But they did. So now it looks like Nowak (and Co.) helped to build up and tear down a new organization in the span of three years, and now wants to flee.

I’m sure this story will unfold further in the coming days, almost as sure as I am that a few people are going to bitch about a soccer post in the comments.

H/T to (@avlambo21), (@N30NB150N), via Philly Soccer Page


19 Responses

  1. Anyone who would leave a position to go to Hearts would be crazy – managers lifespan is very short at that club

  2. “In a report in the Edinburgh Evening News, likely written by this guy…. ”
    Laughing. So. Hard.

  3. Dear Lord,
    I don’t ask for much… but please give him this position so he can get the FUCK out of here. Thanks.

  4. I don’t like soccer, I don’t pay attention to it, but I DO live across the street from the Unions practice field. Nowak is an asshole, and not even just for all the crap he’s pulled with the team this year [as you’ve specified]. I just want him out of my neighborhood.

  5. I’m not much of a soccer fan, but the situation with Peter Nowak and the Union has been confusing to say the least. Coming off their first playoff appearance last season, the team jettisons their top two stars and promptly goes down the toilet. Sorta reminds me of a U.S. sports team that sells off all their talent before being sold to other interests. And, after reading in Sportsweek yesterday about how the relationship between the Union and Chester has become toxic like Chernobyl, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if that’s the case here, and Nowak might be looking to abandon ship before it sinks. Just an opinion.

  6. How long until the Union folds in this city? Mwanga gone, Le Toux gone, shitty start to the season and now this report comes out? All signs pointing to the MLS franchise’s demise.

  7. In response to everyone suggesting the Union folding, that’s very unlikely. Nowak isn’t looking to abandon a sinking ship (this metaphor makes it seem like he isn’t the one who dismantled this fine, seaworthy vessel), he’s trying to have a position lined up for next season so he can quit, rather than being sacked. The Sons of Ben have a reputation as one of the most diehard supporters clubs in MLS, and although attendance is (understandably) faltering a bit this season, the club sold out most home matches last season. The market is here, though frustrated (with Nowak). An underachieving club, yes, but with its fair share of talent. A change at manager will be enough to get the U back into decent form, despite the innumerable and inexplicable self-destructive moves.
    In other news, Kyle, I know you don’t follow soccer much, but it might be good to drop the “soccer is European/fancy” bit. Every aspiring American sports blogger ever makes this joke as an excuse for lazy reporting. Your articles aren’t bad, so don’t sully yourself with this macho, too-cool attitude.
    PS: Piotr isn’t stuffy, it’s Polish.

  8. Soccer sucks. Period.
    If the Union won 10 straight championships, soccer would still suck.

  9. It’s a shame that American soccer is so boring. The difference in talent between the USA and the rest of the world is laughable. Until the US teams start to bring in more marquee players, soccer (or football) will suck in the United States.
    The MLS doesn’t help themselves by having an All-Star game each year where a collective group of the MLS’ “best” players are whooped by ONE foreign club team. It would be like having the best players in the NHL face and get their ass beat by Avangard of the KHL.

  10. You guys aren’t very good with topics. This is an article about Peter Nowak. No one asked for your opinion on the state of soccer in America.

  11. @Dominic: No, it would be like if the KHL sent their All-Star team to face the Pittsburgh Penguins and lost. (An analogy only works if it’s truly an analogy)

  12. I had a thought the other day. Is it possible that Nowak is trading players away to accumulate enough money to go after an older European player? Alessandro del Piero, perhaps?

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