Serenity Now! Mets Looking to Add Quiet Car in Left Field

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Not that excessive noise should really concern anyone at Citi Field – the gothic stadium (which I actually like) that the New York Metropolitans have called home since 2009, when they began a string of three straight seasons finishing fourth in the NL East – but the team is going to address the non-issue anyway. 

Per a report in the NY Post, the Mets sent a survey to fans yesterday. One line stood out:

The Mets are considering adding a designated ‘quiet’ seating section with lower volume PA announcements and no music or cheerleading. How likely would you be to purchase tickets in that section?

 

Yeah, this isn’t the Acela Express. It’s a baseball stadium. And adding a section that actually promotes fan disengagement – said to be in second of three decks in left field – may be the most backward initiative a team has ever undertaken to help sell tickets. Usually, winning does that– not catering to moms, babies, librarians and dogs.  

But this is the Mets we’re talking about, and they do silly things. So let’s assume, if just for a moment, that they go through with this. What sort of creepy, borderline rapey nicknames and taglines do they give the new area?

Whisperers Row?

Silent Niese?

Meet The Mutes?

Johan Shhtana?

HUSH, MY DICKEY LIKES IT THIS WAY?!?

I’m waiting, peacefully, to find out.

[If the Phillies were to do this, perhaps they would call it Placid Polanco. But hey, I don’t want to give them any ideas. They’re are doing a good enough job keeping the place quiet on their own.]

The Mets responded to criticism on NY radio stations by claiming that the section would be aimed at families and autistic children. That seems like a desperate recalibration to save face, though.

We’ll keep you updated on what happens here. But, the Mets should be reminded: serenity now… insanity later.

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15 Responses

  1. The Serenity Now episode has, literally, nothing to do with this. And when I say “literally” I mean literally.

  2. I, for one, am all for the lowering of the PA system and all of the crazy music, games, and crap which overtakes 75% of the game.

  3. I know what it means, but in terms of how it is used in the Seinfeld episode, this is out of context. “Serenity Now” is used as a stress reliever, and it is often yelled by the person using it. It isn’t used to actually acquire serenity in a quiet place.

  4. It is actually used to acquire serenity in a quiet place in the Seinfeld episode.. serenity in the mind ya doofus.

  5. I’m all for busting Kyle’s balls as often as possible, but calling him out over the background context of a Seinfeld episode that he put up at the end as a joke seems like a bit of a stretch.
    Also, if there is ever a CB Quizzo at Drinker’s on Seinfeld I WILL WIN IT.

  6. My first thought was that it was for autistic children. Obviously you do not have an autistic child. Maybe try not to be so offensive.

  7. Yes, catering to people kids with disabilities is a horrible idea. And trying making the park more fan friendly,in whatever way they feel necessary is a terrible idea. This place is a fucking joke.
    How about an ounce of analysis? Just an ounce here and there. Fuck, even sites like Deadspin and other team centric blogs that focus on snark at least offer a little bit of analysis or insight here and there. Fuck.
    The cicrle jerk over the Nationals and their empty park is now over and you can’t really make fun of them and their 9.5 game lead so we get 3,800 posts on what Carter is going to do with the cup.
    Fuck face will never respond to any of the critcal comments unless they have to do with The Fightins (which was MUCH MUCH better and at least Meech knew baseball)or fake Facebook pages.
    Kyle said recently that he doesn’t know how to cover the Phillies now that they suck. I think it speaks for itself that this site started post 2008 and now the phillies related content is minimal.
    How about we start here. Kyle, what would you like to see the Phillies do with their aging roster? When do they hit the breaking point and trade pieces that won’t be back? What type of players would you like to see them focus on if they do decide this season is lost? Baby steps.

  8. My brother has autism and I worked at a school for students with autism last summer. I personally think this is the biggest bullshit excuse I’ve ever heard.

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