Morning Wood: The One That Never Ends

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Everyone has that one relationship that just won’t die. It’s volatile, not right for either person, and will never work out… yet something keeps both sides going back for more. You’ve all had one (except for the SABR nerds– their undying love for baseball metrics will never be broken). In your head, you know the relationship is damaged beyond repair. Sure, there are sometimes signs of life. You don’t hate each other. Occasionally, talk of the future will spring up. But then there’s alway a cold water splash. Always a reminder that something is wrong, that too much has happened to be forgotten. Countless times you will tell yourself that it’s over– she’s too much of a bitch, he’s too self-centered, we’re not compatible, he doesn't hit with runners in scoring position, her cunt looks like a meat market after a fire. You think you have the courage to walk away, but you never do. So, you set deadlines. If it is still rocky by ____, I’m cutting ties and moving on. Usually, those deadlines coincide with specific milestone events. Maybe you’re going away to college, maybe it’s the start of summer or the holiday season. Maybe you just don’t want to buy them a birthday present. Doesn’t matter– the deadlines come and go. They pass without resolution and you continue to forge ahead. You hold on to something that doesn’t exist. And then, just when you snap out of it, realize the relationship is beyond repair, and start distancing yourself from the other person, they do something to reel you back in. They sense the loss, want it to be on their terms. So they pull you back in. What follows is a week of relationship events so extraordinary that you begin thinking all is right: little gifts, calls to say HI!, mind-blowing sex… hell, just sex. But all is not right. You’re just climbing higher for a harder fall. Things quickly turn sour again, and it hurts more this time. You can’t take it. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Finally, you set a hard deadline. There will be no passing it without resolution. Either you’re all in… or you’re out.

Let’s call it, July 31st.

That, my friends, is the 2012 Phillies. You’re dating them and they won’t go away!

For those of you who have real jobs and weren’t able to stay up until 1:30, here’s the brief synopsis: The Phils got out to an earlier 1-0 lead with, gasp, a manufactured run. Roy Halladay had it working in the first inning, but then gave up four straight hits in the second as the Dodgers took a 2-1 lead.  The score remained that way until the eighth inning. The result look to be a forgone conclusion– the Phillies were 0-38 when trailing after seven innings. Not this time. The band is back together. Hunter Pence hit a two-run single to score Chase Utley and John Mayberry Jr. [Video here] Jonathan Paplebon shut it down and then shit himself after the final out. 3-2, good guys.

The Phils have now won four straight, including two against the Dodgers. They’re still 13 games out of first and 9.5 back from the Wild Card.



5 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 6 K, 0 BB. 55 strikes, 25 balls.

Halladay looked good. He struggled early on with his command, but for someone who hasn’t pitched in eight weeks, he did well. He spoke of the looming trade deadline and how the Phils are doing everything they can to avoid cutting ties with this season: []

"It's an organization that has been committed to winning and you want to see that continue, and obviously there are points where they may have to reconsider how they're going to go about that, but I hope that's long after I'm gone to be honest with you," he said. "You want to have every chance you can to try to win. It's tough having a Trade Deadline and being at the point we're in. It puts the pressure on the front office. But I don't think any of us have given up on it, and I know they haven't in the front office." 



Yesterday, the Phillies rolled out David Montgomery and used sources to tell the likes of Jayson Stark that they weren’t ready to sell yet. There may still be some juice in this orange, and they have 12 days to figure out if there is.


Pence protects

Maybe Hunter should visit video game headquarters more often:

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Screen Shot 2012-07-18 at 9.14.19 AM

The last time I freaked out

I don't know how, or why, I got on these emails, but reader Jeff sent along a creep pic of Miley Cyrus. She is in Philadelphia and now has blonde hair. So, we ask you, is this girl just being Miley, or Jen Utley's evil blonde step-daughter?

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[As you can see here— this is what she was wearing in Philadelphia yesterday]

22 Responses

  1. Wow, all it takes is a game-winning hit for Kyle to stop bitching about a pro athlete doing something that isn’t job-related in his free time. Who knew?

  2. I guess the Phillies aren’t dead yet. The next two weeks will determine if this team has a pulse, or if the body will be interred.
    Meanwhile, gaze upon Miley Cyrus, pop culture’s next great train wreck.

  3. IF the Phils can (somehow) manage to win 4 of their next 5 games… look the fuck out. IF they start to roll, we’ll look back, at the end of August/beginning of September and say “back in July when we were all freaking out, this team was exactly where it needed to be.”
    May not happen. But it sure would be fun. And IF they make the playoffs, I’ll have more confidence in this team than any since the 2009 team.

  4. Jeff dude must be creepy to take that pic of Miley. This site needs more Tent Cole & Avalon A lister pics

  5. Those next 3 games are going to pretty much tell the truth about the season. They’ll be facing Kershaw, Lincecum and Cain. Pitching matchups heavily favoring the opposition considering the Phillies have a history of getting owned by this trio. Lincecum is having a shit season but he can still put 0’s against the Phillies. Cain just owns them every time. Lee should hold his own against Kershaw and maybe give them a chance today.
    The good thing is that teams ahead of them are starting to spiral out of control (see Mets, Cardinals, Diamondbacks and maybe Pirates soon). Real competition for the WC is Atlanta, St. Louis, Cincy and maybe Miami in my opinion!

  6. Wow, you have really hit rock bottom with that “stricken out” comment! “Meat market??” Holy shit, dude! Takes a lot to shock me, but seriously, WTF???? This site used to have SOME redeeming qualities. Now, I feel like I’m reading the masturbatory fantasy of a 12-year old. No more…

  7. Except Kershaw is 0-4 with a 4.95 ERA in seven regular-season starts against the Phillies. Matt Cain is 1-4 with a 3.42 ERA in eight starts. Timmy has been good in the past but sucks this year.

  8. Miami is no threat. I just read that they’re about to start listening to offers for anybody…even Stanton

  9. if the phils win 2 out of 3 from the giants and then stay hot against the brew crew then this team might just become buyers….last night proved the importance of chase & howard just being in the lineup a late inning bullpen guy did not give chase anything to hit and then plunks the big piece 2 out rally starts….oh and miley can catch it in the pooper!!! party in the usa!

  10. the relationship with the ex (which my friend aptly named “Trouble #1 (there is a “Trouble #2 also)) always gets worse when you get drunk…which i find myself doing when i go to games…
    lets keep going with the roller coaster! get another one today guys!

  11. First off mary this is a mans site so take your butthurt comments we direct at women and get lost.
    No matter what happens I still think we need to trade victorino get a decent prospect and maybe a bullpen arm. We use Pierre in center. And maybe swing a trade and get Huston street and Carlos Quentin from padres beings those guys only cost a few marginal prospects. Ive read scouts don’t value street that heavily but it’s still better than the slop we send out not named papelbon.

  12. Also I feel like and I know this is sac religious but I feel like I like paps more and more he pitches and I feel more comfortable with him than even 08 lidge. That dude is intense just the thought of him. A cold October night bearing down on a hitter. 9th inning of a playoff game…gives u chills thinking of it

  13. I think we got spoiled with 08 Lidge… Papelbon is a top 5 closer and I’m ok with that. I just want Bastardo to settle into that 8th inning role and he’s struggled this year.
    I wonder how Kendrick does in the bullpen now. He’s done everything that’s been asked of him but this may be the most important. This could be a career defining moment for him if he steps up.
    We are still in it…no need to even entertain thinking about selling til July 29th. We can (and probably will) win games with this lineup.

  14. Pierre is a great hitter but you can’t trust that noodle arm in center if you get rid of Victorino. They should remove that stiff Dom Brown’s left arm and put it on Pierre

  15. Some of you guy’s are so juvenile nobody will ever care about your comments. What in the hell makes you think your stupid sexual posts are anything other than gross and stupid. You would do well to keep your jerk comments to yourself so people could read others without thinking you are pedophiles or sexual perverts that have not been caught yet. Grow up.

  16. Dm- find another site hum. This site is for guys only

  17. “You know, Crossing Broad turned into a hard core porn channel so gradually I didn’t even notice.”

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