Bryce Harper Told Seven-Year-Olds to “Be Sexy”

Screen Shot 2012-08-17 at 11.03.30 AMWork it, girl

This video is straight from the local news playbook: So perfect. So sound. So cheesy. 

Like every other star athlete, Bryce Harper has a PR person who arranges for him to get involved (and in front of cameras) with helping kids [insert thing that kids like or need to do]. Yesterday, the teenage dirtbag slugger stopped by a Virginia baseball field to instruct his peers on how to play like a big leaguer. His advice: “Be as sexy as you can.”

Somewhere, a parent just Googled child services… and Jimmy Rollins nodded.

That was it from Brycecakes– 90 seconds of a b-roll and hot air from the local reporter*, with one soundbite worthy of air. Normally we’d point out that Harper is kind of d-bag, but since I just wrote 1,000 words about Ryan Lochte being a douche, I feel it’d be douchey to keep writing douche.

*The reporter is delightfully attractive. Kind of a weathered Pia Toscano thing going on. We’ll expect NBC 10 to hire her by the end of the summer.

Video after the bump.

via Hardball Talk

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20 Responses

  1. If this guy ever crumples up in writhing pain with a busted leg or shattered knee on the field at CBP, it’s going to make that whole Michael Irving/broken neck thing look like sincere concern on our part.

  2. What would you like to talk about– The Phillies, who stink? The Eagles, who aren’t playing yet? The Flyers, who won’t be playing this year? Or the Sixers, who are three months out?

  3. The Eagles aren’t playing yet? I swear they’ve been playing for at least a month now. Maybe only against each other, but plenty of storylines. Kyle likes to write about Bynum with his shirt off and Dom browns dong instead.

  4. You bunch of fucking losers. I’ve never seen so many snot-nosed little boys be so jealous of another guy. It’s sick. Grow the fuck up.

  5. What “sounds gay” is Kyle’s little nickname, “Brycecakes.” Look, I have no problem with Kyle being a homosexual. I just wish he’d come out and be open about it. He could be a great role model for other closeted gay Phillies fans.

  6. Dude, don’t respond to these clowns! If they don’t like the site then fuck off! Best Philly sports blog period.

  7. Dude, don’t respond to these clowns! If they don’t like the site then fuck off! Best Philly sports blog period.

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