Morning Wood: Snappled

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We’ll let reader Chris lead things off this morning with the words of a wise man:

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Indeed.

Look, the three-game sweep, capped off by a blowout, may not mean anything (the Cardinals swept the Astros and remain four games ahead with 12 to play). But, it’s always nice to unload on the Mets. You know, just place a few dabs of baseball swimmies onto the belly of a sunk ship.

Some fun facts, at the request of one Big Piece:

Titanic and Snapple references wrapped into one: [CSN Philly]

According to the Elias Sports Bureau, it was the first time in 100 years that the Phils scored eight runs in the first inning of a game on the road. They last did it in 1912 – the year the Titanic went down.

“That’s a Snapple fun fact for everybody,” a grinning Ryan Howard said.

(We’re not sure if he was referring to the team’s first-inning feat or the Titanic reference.)

 

Smallest crowd ever: [MLB.com]

When asked if he was embarrassed by his team's performance, Collins' answer was short and to the point: "I am."

The Mets' struggles at home have led to dwindling crowds — Thursday's announced attendance of 20,010 was the smallest in Citi Field history — and a thick cloud of frustration at the ballpark that feels like it may seemingly never dissipate.

 

RUNS: [Phillies.com]

The Phillies fell two runs short of tying the franchise record for most runs scoring in the first inning. They last scored 10 runs in the first inning on July 6, 2009, against the Reds at Citizens Bank Park. It was the first time the Phillies opened a game with six or more hits since June 13, 1980, when they opened with seven consecutive hits against the Padres at Veterans Stadium.

It also was the first time they started a game with their first eight batters reaching base since Aug. 5, 1975, a 13-5 victory over the Cubs at Veterans Stadium.

 

HITS: [Philly.com]

Mets righthander Jeremy Hefner faced seven batters in the first inning and was pulled before he could record an out as the Phils sent 13 players to the plate in the inning, scoring eight runs en route to a 16-1 win.

The Phillies had 19 singles, nine of them coming in the 33-minute first inning. They also got a grand slam from Ryan Howard in the seven-run ninth inning.

 

ERRORS: None.

Statisticals:

Juan Pierre, who makes a living hitting baseballs, had five hits last night. He almost didn’t make the team, yet he’s going to finish the season with over 400 at-bats, an above .300 average and 40 steals. I see no reason why the Phils wouldn’t bring him back next year to be the role player we wanted this season.

Ryan Howard hit a grand slam in the ninth inning. He was 2-for-5 with 5 RBIs, and appears to have homered his way out of that funk he was in. Which is the same thing he’s been doing for eight seasons. Get off his (presumably large) dick, haters.

Chase Utley was 4-for-5 with 4 RBIs.

Tyler Cloyd pitched eight innings, gave up one run and three hits. He was the only member of the starting lineup not to have a hit.

Meanwhile, the Braves came to town, awaiting the Phils for a weekend set. Chipper Jones will be honored before tonight’s game. Let’s use this opportunity to show the nation what great fans we are by cheering Larry pre-game… and then booing him mercilessly the rest of the night. It would only be fitting.

Speaking of, Chipper was hazed last night along with Braves rookies. They wore this…

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via (@PeterMoylan) 

… to Xfinity Live!, where they joined Donovan McNabb in the VIP section:

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Screen Shot 2012-09-21 at 9.06.50 AM

Awesome.

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12 Responses

  1. Just stick that morning wood in a bucket of ice son. You have a better shot of tag teaming Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johanssen than the Phillies do of making the playoffs. Want to come up and do a bong hit with mommy before I smoke this whole bag up? It’ll make you feel good.

  2. While it was great fun to watch the Phils unload on the Mess in a near empty Citi Field, I found myself wishing they saved some of that offense for tonight against the Braves. It wouldn’t surprise Tommy Hanson shuts them out on two hits and strikes out 12 in the process.
    As for that pic of Chipper and company—-get me some brain bleach! STAT!

  3. If there were 20,000 at that game, I’m hung to my knees. Second, and the ONLY reason I’m bitching about it is because it’s not the first time I’ve seen it, WHY, WHY, WHY, was Tyler Cloyd allowed to take the bat off his shoulder in the first inning??? Based loaded, no outs, DON’T SWING! If you strike out, you strike out, and Rollins is up with 1 out, bases loaded. Instead, Cloyd grounds into the WORST DP you could have – back to the pitcher for the out at home. I was so pissed, like I said, because it’s not the first time the Phils have done that.

  4. Yo, uncle meat, correct me if I’m mistaken, but didn’t the Phils plate EIGHT runs in that first inning, despite Cloyd’s so-called gaff? I wasn’t expecting the kid to clear the bases with one swing, so I wasn’t angry or disappointed when he didn’t. That’s not his job. However, I did expect him pitch well and not let that big lead go to his head to the point where he made mistakes on the mound and give away said lead, and to his credit, that didn’t happen. Mission accomplished.

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