Your Monday Afternoon Roundup
I was so confident yesterday when I tweeted, at around 4:22 p.m., “We know how this ends.”

I bring that up not to pat myself on the back (because I’d guess that 90% of you felt the same way), but to point out just how damn predictable and miserable Eagles fandom has become.

Like, we all knew the Lions were going to score when they got the ball down 10, right? We knew they were going to make it close. 

We knew, too, that the Eagles would make perplexing play calls when they got the ball back, with a three-point lead, with 3:32 to play. The Lions had only two of their timeouts remaining, and even just one first down would have nearly sealed the deal for the Eagles. Instead: six-yard pass to LeSean McCoy… no-gain run by Bryce Brown… incomplete pass, with Vick in shotgun, on third down. 

Think about that: with three and a half minutes to play and a three point lead, the Eagles didn’t once run the ball with one of the best running backs in the league. That’s mind-boggling. That’s something an idiot does in Madden. Andy Reid, too.

We knew the Lions were going to tie the game. And we knew that the Eagles would do something stupid in overtime (although not even the most hardened prick could have expected them to go backwards 21 yards and punt from their own end zone).

And we knew what would happen next.

We knew how it would end.

So then why, why do people still defend Andy Reid? This stuff has been happening for 14 years. Few Eagles losses are like the ones last week against the Steelers– an understandable road loss to a tough team. It seems like most are the result of either poor clock management, baffling play calls, or the team being woefully underprepared. Or combination of those things. Plus, there are all those times where an analyst points out how Eagles – defenders, specifically – screw up the most basic of fundamentals. 

All of that is coaching, and it's nothing new for the Eagles.

If I sound like I’m mad– I’m not. I’m 100% apathetic. I’m just confused how after 14 years of the same bullshit, we’re still in this position. It’s like Groundhog Day, only Reid never learns from his mistakes, never learns to avoid Ned Ryerson, never learns to play the piano… never does anything different. He just sees the same set of stimuli and reacts the exact. same. way, seemingly unaware of the lousy results. I gotta do a better job, as coaches we have to learn from that. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! [Now I’m mad.] How have you not learned from that by now?

This isn’t even fun anymore. For two years now, I’ve been watching the Eagles just to see how they fuck up. And that sucks.

Let’s hit it!


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The roundup:

– Did Marcus Hayes write a ridiculous sonnet about the Eagles game? He did: []

A little thing.

A big lost possession.

A huge lost home game.

"We're in a position where you're losing games at home," Avant said. "You want to win all your home games and be 50 percent on the road. That's 12-4."

Well, 12-4 seems out of the question.

That would mean a 9-1 finish.

That would almost certainly mean a win in 2 weeks against undefeated Atlanta and probably running the table in the final five games against the NFC East. They're 1-0 in the division, a two-point win over the Giants.

Their biggest win to date.

Chugging along averaging almost three turnovers a game, worst in the conference, another 8-8 finish seems more likely.

Five hundred, for a team with Michael Vick, LeSean McCoy, DeSean Jackson, Jason Babin, Trent Cole, Nnamdi Asomugha, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie.

Oh, and franchise coach Andy Reid.

Talk about embarrassing.


Yeah, talk about embarrassing.

– Is anyone else getting tired of Hunter Pence’s pre-game speeches? Last week we told you about his rousing speech before Game 3 that, apparently, spurred the Giants on to victory. Last night he was at it again, firing his teammates up in the dugout. Funny how he never gave speeches here.

Screen Shot 2012-10-15 at 12.02.07 PM

– The Eagles went completely overboard with the pink thing yesterday, outlining the end zones and midfield logos. As we’ve talked about before on this site, the whole Pink thing is a sham. The NFL donates only 5% of proceeds to charity, but profits millions. 

– Nnamdi Asomugha somewhat blamed Juan Castillo’s late-game playcalling for the Eagles’ loss.

Deadspin’s Week 6 NFL GIFs.

– A caller to the WIP Morning Show with an epic rant

– Scott Hartnell and Kimmo Timonen tailgated at the Eagles game yesterday, according to reader Christian:

Screen Shot 2012-10-15 at 12.10.28 PM

Cole Hamels did, too.

– And now, a drunk lady on the subway after the Birds game sings about the Flyers, courtesy of reader Daniel.


27 Responses

  1. Not that it’s much of an excuse, but the offensive pass interference call in the end zone needs to be discussed. It was a terrible call and it took 4 points off the board. It’s a different game without that call.

  2. Fuck Andy Reid.
    I’m 35. Since the first time I could legally sit in a bar with friends and enjoy a Sunday afternoon, Andy Reid has provided me with 5% excitement/95% excrement.
    It began with Doug Pederson and no receivers, shifting to the McNabb era, who was a good QB early on but who had absolutely no wide receivers until TO’s one normal/noncrazy person season, a brief infusion of Jeff Garcia mania, then the drafting and subsequent praising of Kevin Kolb as the future, only for him to be let go after Michael Vick showed a flash of talent. Full circle now with the We Want Foles cheers waiting in the wings.
    WR – TO and Maclin. Not much else to say. DeSean is too inconsistent and frankly too stupid to not get penalties that kill drives.
    RB – We’ve had Westbrook and McCoy, and neither got the ball enough.
    DEF – RIP Jim Johnson. You were replaced by some guy who got fired instead of Andy, then by an offensive line coach who last coached defense at a high school in the mid 80’s. We also disgracefully let Brian Dawkins spend the last years of his career elsewhere even though he was the soul of this team.
    Staff – Too many bad coaches to remember. Probably none worse than the current triumvirate of incompetence we’re suffering through now.
    All of the above is one man’s fault.

  3. the shady swing pass is a run in that situation in what was an extremely high % pass and there was absolutely nothing wrong with it until the dummy went out of bounds…the 40 seconds they lost in him doing that was crucial
    theres lots of things to kill andy on and he should have been fired years ago but that last possesion in regulation was not one of them

  4. Stop with the swing pass is actually a run bullshit. You’ve obviously completely bought in to this shit Reid sells. A run is not a swing pass. A run is a handoff or even a toss for that matter. That last possession should’ve consisted of three actual runs. Keeping the clock moving the whole time or at least forcing the Lions to burn their last two timeouts.
    Time’s not yours any more Andy, time’s up.

  5. for me im at the part in groundhog day(the movie) when bill murray tries to kill himself over and over…I can’t believe how many times we have lost this way during andy’s 14 years…up 10 with under 6 to play and you do not run the ball?? then tito santana decides to play a soft zone coverage and let the lions march down the field…disgrace!! we will beat the falcons because we always win at home after a bye but the writting is on the wall for this team 8-8 maybe 9-7

  6. I agree with James…I get how in certain situations a screen or a swing pass can take the place of a run, but the problem is A) We don’t have the o-line to run a screen worth a fuck anymore, B) They were swarming Vick and effectively covering those types of passes and C) We had 3 fucking minutes left!! Why even risk passing?? If you run 3 times, you get at LEAST 1 chance to take an additional 30-40 seconds off depending on if they used one or both of their two remaining time outs. At least run on 1st down and see if they use a timeout, and if they don’t, RUN IT AGAINN!! If they do use them, both, then they don’t have timeouts and are scrambling more on that last drive! But no, we tried two passing plays, both of which stopped the clock and our only run WAS TO OUR FUCKING BACK UP RUNNING BACK!%#535FUCKINGSTUPID#@!%@#!!!!!!! Instead of trying getting the clock down to at LEAST the 2 minute warning before punting, we gave them around 2 and a half minutes, and an extra stoppage of play!!%#%!!

  7. Vicks face after that ball flies past his head is priceless. If that was a bottle of grape soda he would have caught it.

  8. The swing pass was a great call you idiots… you couldnt run all day and got the ball in the hands of your best player in space, how can you possibly blame Andy Reid for Lesean McCoy going out of bounds?? You obviously run the ball on 2nd down, to use clock and/or a timeout from Detroit. 3rd down you spread the field with your athletic QB and make them play the whole field.
    With 330 left and Detroit with 2 timeouts you need a 1st down before you run out the clock. Of course nobody will give Andy credit for the fact he ran virtually the same play that they scored the Maclin TD on, and sure enough, he was open again. 7 couldnt get him the ball.

  9. Where are these Andy Reid defenders I keep hearing about?
    I’m ready let him go just so everybody shuts up about him. I don’t even care how it affects the team.

  10. I have to admit I was surprised.
    I gave up on Andy Reid in 2005.
    I BELIEVE in the core of my heart that he will NEVER win.
    My only hope to die with a SuperBowl win is for this guy to be GONE.
    I root against him every Sunday hoping Lurie will come to his senses and can this DOPE.
    I’m accepting short-term pain for long-term success (or the possibility of success).
    But when Maclin raced down the field for a 70-yard TD with 5:18 left on the clock, I lost hope. Andy survived. The Eagle nimrods will be talking SuperBowl and the Vick lovers will be ebulliant.
    I’d have to wait 2 weeks for the next debacle. But Andy came through. Just when I thought he could NOT go lower, he did.
    14-years in the NFL and he can’t hold a 10-point lead at home against a 1-3 team with 5 minutes to play.
    11-14 in their last 25 games – GOLD STANDARD

  11. I’m just numb to all this nonsense with Reid and the Eagles. In short, it’s gotten really hard to give a damn anymore. Watching the Eagles is more a chore than a pleasure I wait all week for, I get no enjoyment from seeing this team rumble, stumble, bumble and eventually fall flat on it’s collective face, nor do I get angry because I’ve become conditioned to losing, so when the Birds manage to win, I’m almost surprised. As for Reid, he’s become a joke, a punchline, especially with his moronic “I’ve got to do a better job” routine week after week, loss after loss. And the sad part of it all is that he doesn’t even realize what a pathetic caricature he’s become. I’m just done with him and this team and hope it blows up so we can get Reid the hell out of town so we can start over. Perhaps once that happens, I can start caring about this team again.

  12. Everyone complains about this Eagles sorry excuse for a season, but you’ll still pay money for Eagles merchandise or go to the games. That’s all Banner and Lurie care about. If they really care about winning a Super Bowl, Reid would of been gone years ago. It’s the same thing every year. Terrible clock management. Poor play-calling. Out-coached. Outplayed. Ridiculously bad assessment of talent. Same thing week in and week out. Poor tackling. Dropped passes. Inability to cover on D. Fumbling. What the fuck do they do during the week? Cause it certainly doesn’t look like the practice.
    Most of these guys steal money. Keep drafting and/or trading for prima donnas like DeSean Jackson and tools like Jason Babin. Danny Watkins? Colt Anderson? How long have they not had a good punt returner? People need to stop supporting this team until Andy and the entire staff is gone. They will NEVER win. Why has it taken so long for them to realize? Oh, yeah, cause people still spend their hard-earned money on this sad excuse for a sports franchise.

  13. Let’s not forget about Demetress Bell? Dallas Reynolds? These guys don’t belong on a football field. Nate Allen and Kirk Coleman couldn’t tackle an 80-year-old-woman. Don’t they teach basic fundamentals in middle school? I guess they forgot them. And Juan certainly isn’t instilling the BASIC football fundamentals. King Dunlap? Marty Gilyard? Brandon Hughes? Damaris Johnson? The best day in the history of being a Philly fan for the past 20 years, besides the World Series win in 08, will be the day Andy Reid and the rest of his staff are FINALLY gone.

  14. Banner to Reid to Lurie bla bla bla…How is it our fault? We’re the fans, what else are we supposed to do? You want me to give up my season tickets just because to make a point that will never be seen by management? Yeah, cause itll be so easy to just get those back once Reid is gone, I won’t have to sit on a waiting list for half a decade or anything…
    You wanna stop spending money on the product because its a bad product? Fine, but don’t act all high and mighty and pretend that this is the fans fault. Jeffry Lurie being a greedy pile of idiotic shit and Andy being a failure of a coach doesn’t reflect on me simply because I love the sport and the team. Don’t we all pride ourselves on being some of the best fans out there, yet you want us to basically jump ship during the bad and just tune back in during the good? Jackass.

  15. Hah. Anyone who paid for season tickets has my sympathy. They sure don’t have Lurie’s or Reid’s, though.

  16. Die, Andy, Die
    No more stu-pid-it-y
    Die, Andy, Die
    Cause of death o-be-si-ty
    Clock is low
    Pass is high
    And we watch our Eagles die
    Die, Andy, Die
    Hated un-i-vers-al-ly!
    F! A! T! F! U! C! K!
    Time’s yours

  17. Your hunter pence comment was buried in the Eagles commentary but you are so right. It made me so mad to see him giving that speech last night. WTF was he doing here the first half of the season when the Phillies needed someone to be a leader.

  18. Banner to Reid: Wrong! I haven’t given Jeff Lurie any of my money for years, if ever. I don’t watch games in person, only on TV, I’ve never been to the Linc, nor do I buy jerseys or any other sort of memorabilia, so I can moan and bitch about the Eagles all I want, safe and secure in the knowledge that I’m not actively supporting Lurie and the flaming mediocrity he’s put out on the field.

  19. Ever heard of marketing Flash?
    Watching the games on tv is supporting Lurie. Going to a bar and watching it is supporting Lurie. Buying snacks, beer and soda by companies who sponsor the NFL is supporting Lurie. Buying non-eagles products made by the companies who make the jersies, equipment and other nfl products is helpig Lurie out. Going to nfl sponsored sites, playing fantasy football, and watching anything by NFL films, and even ESPN, all support Lurie in some way or another. Just by being on this site and moaning about the team gives it hits and generates interest, positive and negative alike, in the eagles and local businesses that rely on them to some extent. You’re just as guilty as the the rest of us in providing Lurie with the means to build another hole in his private backyard golf course, whether you like it or not.

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