Your Wednesday Morning Roundup: Bobby April III, Lance Armstrong is a Dick, and the Flyers Could Possibly Pay Mike Richards and Jeff Carter Again

Screen Shot 2012-10-17 at 9.43.59 AMPic via reader Matt

Some nonsense for your Wednesday morning as we await Andy Reid’s next evaluation.

– I’m trying to figure out who’s the bigger scumbag, and I’d like your help.

A) Lance Armstrong, who this morning announced that he was stepping down as chairman of Livestrong to shield the charity from any negative impacts stemming from the fact that he’s a phony douchebag. From his statement: [CNN]

I have had the great honor of serving as this foundation's chairman for the last five years and its mission and success are my top priorities. Today therefore, to spare the foundation any negative effects as a result of controversy surrounding my cycling career, I will conclude my chairmanship.


Thanks, Lance. 

That announcement – not coincidentally, I'm sure – came just moments before Nike terminated their contract with Armstrong:

Due to the seemingly insurmountable evidence that Lance Armstrong participated in doping and misled Nike for more than a decade, it is with great sadness that we have terminated our contract with him. Nike does not condone the use of illegal performance enhancing drugs in any manner. 

Nike plans to continue support of the Livestrong initiatives created to unite, inspire and empower people affected by cancer. 


Swoosh smash! Not only did they drop Armstrong, but they’ll also be giving him the Joe Pa treatment by taking his name off their fitness center, according to ESPN’s Darren Rovell 

I’ve always thought that Lance was the biggest phony in existence. Yes, he survived cancer and started a charity. But he also ditched his wife, who stood by his side during his treatment, for Sheryl Crow and, as we’re now learning, was banned-substancing his way to yellow jackets. 

B) Alex Rodriguez, who, while having his job stolen by 40-year-old Raul Ibanez* and going 3-for-23 with 12 strikeouts in the Postseason, was busy hitting on women in the stands.  

*Literally, this allegedly happened in the eighth inning of Game 1, right after he was replaced by Ibanez.

From the sometimes reliable NY Post:

After being replaced in the bottom of the eighth inning in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series, the highest-paid Yankee openly flirted with a pair of pretty women two rows behind the dugout — even sending them a ball bearing a note asking for their phone numbers, a witness told The Post.

“Alex was holding a pen and wrote a note on a ball which was thrown at the women by a ball boy,’’ the witness explained.

“The girls, who had already caught two balls, seemed bemused at first and tried to hand the ball to another fan, but other fans noticed the note on it and yelled at them to read it.

“The note asked them to write their phone numbers on the ball and throw it back,’’ the witness said.

“One of the girls, with darker blond hair, wrote . . . on the ball and threw it back at A-Rod, who gave her a big smile.”


The proud, down 3-0 New York Yankees! 

UPDATE: One was a bikini model.

Daily News writer Paul Domowitch crushed Andy Reid this morning in his column. I enjoyed it. 

I thought Reid had that same kind of loyalty for the people who worked for him. But I was wrong. These are desperate times for the Reid, and it looks as if he will do whatever it takes to hang on to his job, including hanging people out to dry.

Yeah, I know Castillo was in over his head. But Reid set him up to fail. He took a guy who was a pretty good offensive-line coach and gave him a job he was unqualified for. And, now, after only 22 games, he's canning him, because his own butt is on the line.

Some people might call what Reid did Tuesday decisive. He is owning up to yet another mistake he made and is correcting it.

I call it looking for a scapegoat.


– Have no fear about the defense! After promoting Todd Bowles, who reader Joe thinks looks like Seal… 

Screen Shot 2012-10-17 at 9.38.48 AM

… the Eagles have a need to fill at defensive backs coach, Bowles’ former role. At his press conference yesterday, Reid said that instead of hiring someone new, he will count on Bobby April III (B 4/3, as I’m calling him), the 29-year-old Eagles’ defensive quality control coach and son of awful special teams coach Bobby April. 


“Right now I think I’m just going to stick with the staff I have. I’ve got Bobby April The Third here and he has secondary background, so he can help out. He’s already been helping out there. He can cover any base that needs to be covered.” 


B 4/3’s “secondary experience,” I guess, came during his days as a high school player. His coaching experience before being hired by the Eagles

The road that would eventually converge with his father's at the NovaCare Complex continued for April III at Louisiana-Lafayette where he worked for the football team as a student assistant. From there, it was on to Tulane, where he was a graduate assistant for two seasons. Then, in 2007, April III became the youngest coordinator in Division I football when he took a job as special teams coordinator/inside linebackers coach for Portland State, where he worked under Glanville. 


So there you go. Who needs a new secondary coach when you have the third day in April!

– Finally, the new CBA proposed by the league yesterday may really screw the Flyers. Teams that handed out long-term contracts in an effort to circumvent the salary cap would be forced to pay players on the remaining years of those deals, even if a player retires. And that could apply to players that have been traded away. Broad Street Hockey puts in place the nightmare scenario:

That money would hit the Flyers' cap in the event that Richards and Carter retire before their contracts expire, as far as we're aware from McKenzie's report. 

Is retirement a certainty? No, absolutely not. Richards will be 35 when his deal expires, Carter 37, van Riemsdyk 29. But it's definitely a possibility, at least in the cases of the Brothers Los Angeles, and the worst part is that it takes the control completely out of the Flyers' hands. Holmgren, Snider, Luukko and Co. have absolutely no say in what Richards, Carter and JvR do the rest of their careers, yet they are at their mercy.


There’s some uncertainty surrounding those terms, and the union likely won’t accept the deal as it stands, but whatever deal gets put in place will most likely put the screws to teams that signed players to mega contracts. 


18 Responses

  1. Armstrong is the bigger scumbag by far. The drugs, ditching his wife and then Crow, being a smug prick= big scumbag.
    Arod is a smug prick, and a Yankee, who clearly did PEDs…but I kind of like him making good use of his time on the bench.
    Reid is just in over his head, and has been. Castillo had to go,even if Reid was the one who hired him. No other choice for AR.

  2. Don’t the Eagles have Michael Zordich on staff as their “safties coach”? Why not just promote him to Secondary Coach and let him work with the cornerbacks, too? At least he has NFL experience.

  3. Let’s address them.
    1. Armstrong is a flat out cheat. But, it seems that in a sport filled with cheating, he was the best at it. He’s still denying and acting like a Bryce Harper.
    2. A-Rod has been a Harper before Harper was a douche in his fathers eye. He isn’t changing.
    3. Reid wins this, hands down. It’s the desperate grasps of a man that should have been gone long ago. The issue now becomes, who takes over? Who’s better? Reids problems has been that he has too much control. That all stems from the Holmgren effect of letting one man run the whole place. Get Reid out and start new.
    Finally, does the contract status apply to current players already traded? I would think that everything starts new now. The Kings took on those contracts, knowing what was going on. You can’t punish the Flyers for work done years ago, when everything was legal, by holding them to a new standard. As it seems, all contracts would belong to current teams as if they were originally signed by them. The real negative, I think, is that these teams all rushed to sign players to huge contracts, fully expecting salary rollbacks that are no longer part of the equation. They made their bed, now they’ll have to lie down and get screwed in it.

  4. The whole Tour De France was doping, since they took his awards away they would have to give it to the 13th place winner, Everyone is mad because our steroid infused athlete beat there steroid infused athlete, stop acting so high and might like none of you mongoloids never cheated or did something wrong. Cheating is a part of any sports, I wish they did more steroids at least it keeps shit interesting. The dude has raised tons of money for cancer and the research to kill it and he’s a scumbag, Fuck you moron. His cheating has helped alot of fucking people with cancer. Like I said he doped like everyone else doped in that race, he was just better at it.

  5. No WAYYYYY the NHLPA agrees to the deal. Especially since the NHL just posted the CBA on their website. Total PR move, no way this doesn’t go into November or later….

  6. AROID is a washed up has been who is holding the Yankees hostage.
    Boy when these players get off the HGH and steroids,their careers go south in a hurry.

  7. Philadelphia has been screaming for Castillo’s blood for 2 years. Now that he’s fired everybody feels sorry for him. What’s up with that?

  8. Good call on calling Lance Armstrong a dick. Guy did more with his fame than pretty much any other athlete and he was a cyclist. But why not drag his name through the mud and possibly cost his charity as a result, as if anyone gives a fuck about cycling. Smart move from the cycling world.

  9. I heard about A-Roid’s antics on Angelo’s show the other morning and laughed out loud. Only a total dirtbag like him would do something that sleazy…. and during the game to boot! I hope Spankee fans have built up lots of patience with A-Roid since his contract still has another five years to run.
    Meanwhile, it’s damn good to see all the Teflon that coated Andy Reid during his tenure here with the national media has finally worn off as talking heads have been unloading on him with both barrels over the Juan Castillo debacle. It’s also pathetic that the fans knew from day one LAST SEASON that switching Castillo to defensive coordinator was going to be a disaster, yet Reid stuck with this train wreck of an experiment for nearly a season and a HALF! But now, we’ve got another calamity in the making with B 4/3 taking over as defensive backs coach. Lord have mercy, won’t Reid EVER learn from his mistakes?
    Lastly, while it’s damn hard to dump on a cancer survivor, there’s no denying that Lance Armstrong has gone full circle from hero to cretin. Sadly, I don’t feel the least bit sorry for the guy. He made his bed, now he has to sleep in it.

  10. YO KYLE YOURE A PHONY DOUSCHEBAG, The man rode a bike thousands of miles with one nut, did u expect him to not be doping..and btw you fell off bro ur a philly hater on anything that is done sports related in this town. used to love comming to work and seeing what was happening on crossing broad and now i could give two shits less. You steal all your shit off deadspin anyway ya tool

  11. Yea if yyoure talking about the cartoon, which i aint, and stick to your shitty city with its shitty teams, dont worry bout us philly people ya fucking tool!!

  12. and your name is big dick daddy bc thats what ya love to eat the big dick, i may be able to help you out there

  13. Kyle is not a phony douschebag, he is a giant phony Douchebag. I think DOUSCHEBAG is like a “douchebag”, but not really sure. It’s probably because Elmer has a hard time spelling because of the amount of semen he has in his eyes. I know, because I have semen in my eyes a lot and it affects my spelling.

  14. Nike still sponsors LaShawn Merritt, amongst other current athletes who have been banned by their sport for drug use.

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