Screen Shot 2012-11-05 at 6.52.25 PMI'll take this, thank you

OH YES. Ruben. Phillies. Lawsuit. Batting practice pitcher. Jayson Werth. Davey Lopes. SOUR GRAPES ABOUND, BABY!

A lawsuit filed today and obtained by the Daily News says that the Phillies are being sued by former batting practice pitcher Ali Modami, who claims that he was defamed by Ruben Amaro after being fired by the Phillies.

Modami alleges that Amaro cost him jobs with the Dodgers and Nationals because the Phils GM told those teams that Modami stole and sold memorabilia, and wrote negative stuff about the Phillies on the interwebs (!!!).

Modami is seeking more than $100,000 in damages.

It gets better.

Who told Modami about Amaro’s alleged behind-the-scenes fucking? Oh, my fingers are jumping and having a gay old time on the keyboard as I write this– Jayson Werth. Read: []

Former Phillies outfielder Jayson Werth, now with the Nationals, first told Modami what Amaro allegedly said, the suit states.

Davey Lopes, the Phillies' former first base coach and current Dodgers first base coach, first told Modami that Amaro's statements about him led Dodgers GM Ned Colletti not to hire him, according to the suit.

The Phillies had no comment.


A DOUBLE REVERSE BACK DOOR FUCKING! A guy fired by Amaro informed by two guys who feel they were fucked by Amaro that Amaro was fucking the guy he fucked behind his fucking back! Yes. That’s so Rube. 

What do we know about Modami?

During Game 3 of the 2009 World Series, Shane Victorino got Maria Menounos to sign a ball for his BP pitcher (of course he did).

Last October, Modami was credited with an assist when Ben Francisco hit his huge Game 3 home run against the Cardinals.

Later that month, presumably shortly after Modami was let go by the Phillies, Vance Worley, speaking about his sneaker fetish in an interview with (for real, folks, this is why you read this site), cited Modami as being into shoes: "Jimmy Rollins, Ben Francisco, Kyle Kendrick and Ali Modami, our batting practice coach, are all into shoes as well. The only one that really has heat, after me, is Benny Fresh (Francisco). I'm pretty sure I shocked him when I showed him my collection, though!"

Yeah, Vance, he’s totally into your shoes. Into them in a kleptomaniac, gonna sniff them in my underwear in a dark room perhaps while pleasuring myself to Maria Menounos' signed ball and then sell them on the black fucking market sort of way. Or at least that’s what Amaro would like you to think.

My take? I'm guessing the Phils and Amaro probably would have let the stealing thing slide. But criticizing the team in a public forum? Well, they don't stand for that.

The Phillies told the Daily News they had not yet been served with the complaint. For his part, Amaro couldn’t be reached for comment… he was too busy backstabbing the shit out of low-level team employees.