Your Monday Morning Roundup

Took a few days off this weekend – partly because little happened in local sports, partly because cramming sports snark into a news cycle dominated by the deaths of 26 students and teachers would be awkward and perhaps offensive, and partly because I wanted to finish Christmas shopping, drink craft beers and watch the Homeland season finale (holy shit– they turned the past four weeks of lemons into lemonade) – but we’re back, taking you into Christmas week with your regularly scheduled nonsense. 

Since news of the shootings broke on Friday, it’s been hard to muster an opinion about anything as inconsequential as sports. I had planned to write a post that day about the latest in athlete revenue streams – current and former Philly athletes selling their time and companionship through a new website – but had no motivation to do so (it’s coming later). But, being a sports and dick joke website, we move on so that we can continue to be a (welcome?) distraction from the what really matters. From what can sometimes be a cruel, cruel world, where unexplainable things happen to the most undeserving of people.

If you haven’t yet seen President Obama’s speech from last night, I highly recommend that you do. Politics aside, it was fantastic, putting perfectly into words what most in this country feel. Yes, he touched on policy, rather forcefully, by saying that he would use his power to do something to make our kids, citizens, safer. And yes, it was the opening salvo in what will surely be a fierce political debate. But no matter what course of action you think is best to accomplish the goal, making our country safer, you can’t deny the fact that something does, in fact, need to be done.

Let’s hit it.


But first, a word from our sponsors:

Top shelf open bars at Drinker’s establishments on New Year’s Eve. Get your ticket for all-you-can-eat, all-you-can-drink access to Drinker’s West, Drinker’s Pub, Drinker’s Tavern and Ortlieb’s. Prices range from $45-$85. Details and tickets here.

– Want to meet Donovan McNabb and Brian Dawkins? How about both? McNabb will be signing autographs at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall on Saturday, January 5 from 1 – 2:30. Dawkins will be at the Sports Vault in the Exton Square Mall on Saturday, January 19 from 1 – 3:30. Details and tickets here. 

– Betting advice? Stop by and save $20 off daily picks by using code Crossing. Godfather Locks has a 95% NBA winning total and offers guarantees so you’re always a winner. Check it out here.

– Give the gift of love and self-discovery to yourself or someone else (or both of you simultaneously?) this holiday season with a subscription to With 10 years of local girls, it’s almost guaranteed you’ll see someone you know, or someone from your town, naked. Click here. Landing page is SFW, but after that, you’re own your own.

Philly Phaithful’s ’93 line is a hot-seller. Celebreate Dutch, Mickey, Mitch, Milt, Krukker and Lenny, and get three t-shirts for $50 with code cbgiftpack. Or, check out Philly Phaithful’s new sister shop, Broad Street Broad.

– Monkey’s Uncle, in Doylestown, is your place for licensed retro and vintage sports and Philly-related gear. Clarke, Bernie, Dr. J, and Schmidt are all present. Use code BROAD to get $10 off orders of $50 or more. Shop here

– The Armadillo Club features original apparel celebrating Philly and our favorite athletes. Make Harry proud by picking up the Whitey shirt, or grab The Minister of Defense jam. Get 25% off with code FIREANDY. Shop here.  

Joe Conklin’s new comedy DVD, Voices In My Head, makes a perfect holiday gift. Includes content from over 20 years of bringing celebrity voices to the stage and screen, and it features a behind-the-scenes look at Conklin’s work for WIP. Get one for $14.99 on Amazon.


The roundup

– Marcus Hayes didn’t write an awful sonnet today. So that’s good. But he did posit that T.O. was Andy Reid’s first of many mistakes that have led us to where we are today, which is nowhere. 

– Here’s video and quotes from Villanova’s press conference yesterday, when the school announced that they are splitting away from the Big East along with six other schools to form a Catholic League, of sorts, effectively dissolving the Big East. Greed, for lack of a better word, may be good… but it also kills basketball leagues, folks.

– The Sixers got torched by the Lakers… and they also lost a basketball game to them last night.

– The Sixers are making trade inquiries about a center.

– Deadspin has your NFL Week 15 GIFs.

R.A. Dickey is headed to the Marlins Blue Jays.

– The Flyers fan who beat a Rangers fans outside Geno’s after the Winter Classic was sentenced to 11-23 months of house arrest followed by five years of probation. 


22 Responses

  1. what did you drink this week…and the words blue moon better not appear on my screen…still trying to get people to understand thats not a craft beer…

  2. I just want to know why the Phils signed John IBrokeUtleysHand Lannan. Aren’t you supposed to sign the guys that kill you, so you don’t have to face them anymore? Why would you sign a guy you torch on a regular basis?

  3. Good point, Uncle Meat. The Lannan signing makes zero sense. And I’m sure Chase is ten different kinds of excited to have THAT guy as a teammate. Meanwhile, how many times will Wheels, Sarge, Franzke, L.A., Graham, McCarthy or Jackson call Lannan “Lennon” in 2013? Bet it’ll be a lot.

  4. picked up franziskaner, flying fish winter, golden monkey, few others from make-your-own at wegman’s. still searching for sixers of mad elf. i’ll be honest– i did add one blue moon winter to the mix pack. while i agree that they’re not a craft beer (being owned by coors makes that difficult), they’re generally pretty good, drinkable. if not by me, then by someone less adventurous.

  5. Because Uncle Meat, he’s a 5th starter that we run out there for peanuts. And yes, while the Phillies crush him, 3-13 in his career against the Phils, everyone else doesn’t. He’s a sub .500 pitcher with the majority of those starts coming when pitching for very bad Nats teams.

  6. That Lannan deal actually does make sense. We think he BLOWS because the Phillies butt rape him when they face him. However, against everyone else he has a 3.79 ERA for his career. That’s better than Blanton or Kendrick. Kendrick is making around 4 million this season and Blanton was 8 or 9 million the past few seasons. Lannan is getting 2.5 AND it’s only a one year deal. We will have some pitching talent knocking on the door come a year from now so if that is the case and / or Lannan blows, he’s gone. At first I didn’t like it but now I see is actually a nifty little move.

  7. I’ve never been a fan of beer, but I never fail to get a chuckle out of the goofy names people give to craft brews. If anyone out there wants to name a beer “Philly Flash”, give me a call and we’ll talk particulars over lunch.

  8. Babin update: zero tackles, zero sacks, 1 forced fumble this week against Miami.

  9. Wait..what happened to the story of Ruben and Colleen Wolfe dancing at a wedding over the weekend?

  10. @ Merkel, German beers suck. But then again pretty much anything that ever came from Germany sucked.

  11. This is truly amazing information. I wish I had seen this sooner. I like your points and agree with a lot of them. You’re a great writer. I hope to read more of your material.

  12. Aw, this was a very nice post. In concept I wish to put in writing like this moreover – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… however what can I say… I procrastinate alot and certainly not seem to get something done.

Comments are closed.