Today in “Ryan Lochte, Douchebag”: Douchebag Ryan Lochte Seeks Douchebag Woman With Whom He Can Be a Douchebag

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He says, "I'm still single. I haven't found that right one. But I'm out there still looking for that one girl that takes my heart away … You'll see me going on dates." And the confident athlete admits he isn't at all apprehensive about a possible romance igniting on TV. He adds, "I'm not really shy about anything. I definitely want to find that one person I could spend the rest of my life with. Now, with the fame and everything that's happening in my life, it's hard for me to find that. There's definitely complications." "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" premieres Sunday, April 21, on E! 


It is difficult for chiseled, Olympic athletes to meet women. So I do feel bad for Douchebag, and will look forward to watching his show.

H/T to (@mandersfield) and (@Flip_adelphia)


16 Responses

  1. Kyle: If you’re actually looking forward to watching Ryan Lochte, then you need psychological help. I’d rather marathon women in peril movies on Lifetime than watch that loser.

  2. What is your obsession with this guy? enough of this segment. He’s a douche. lets leave it at that and get back to something relevant.

  3. Kyle you and Ryan should hang out, I bet you two would get along. LOL seriously though… you’re gay for writing about this. I think you are a little jelly of the douchebag.

  4. Kyle are you gay? I’m assuming you thought Suzie ” I Instagram my shits” Celek was a dude

  5. Annoying I can’t make comments on my mobile iPhone anymore. They never post & it chaps my ass

  6. Jesus Christ, Kyle. Why don’t you just make it official and rename your blog “Deadspin Light”??

  7. Im with you Kyle…Anyone who would touch a nigger doesn’t deserve a gold medal. Good work Kyle.

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