The Phillies have activated fat man Delmon Young. He hates Jews and will replace Ezequiel Carrera, who was DFA’ed today.

We look forward to more of Young’s stories:

“I didn’t like cleaning up dog poop. It was a dog park and people don’t clean up after their dogs sometimes and we’re left to. A lot of times I just stared at it because it was too soupy.”

Delmon Young’s fat clause.