UPDATE: Lane Johnson Used to Wrestle Black Bears for Fun

UPDATE: Apparently, Johnson told both radio stations this was a joke, despite him telling the story twice. Something I probably would have picked up on if it was any other time than 5:30 on a Friday. Original post after the jump.

You talk about having a big Johnson. People say these things like this as idioms, not as real, actual things. But big boy Lane Johnson, literally, wrestles bears for his shits and giggles.

To put that in perspective: For my shits and giggles, I, a blogger, draw on the shower door and then use my breath to steam-erase and start over with a blank canvass. It’s a never-ending cycle of nude painting. And it’s therapeutic.

Johnson, the Eagles first round pick in the draft and an NFL lineman, wrestles black bears.

In the video, posted to YouTube a few days ago by ESPN, Johnson said:

“Wrestle bears in my spare time. Not necessarily grizzly bears, but the smaller, more puny black bears. Tearing up garbage and stuff, so I try to manhandle them and get them out of the way.”

Black bear:

Screen Shot 2013-04-26 at 5.22.33 PM

Johnson:

Screen Shot 2013-04-26 at 5.24.24 PM

If Chip doesn’t watch out with that shirt, Johnson is going to mistake him as a sparring partner

Speaking to reporters today, Johnson confirmed his BEAR-WRESTLING HABITS:

Screen Shot 2013-04-26 at 5.29.27 PM

That’s actually really fucked up. He’ll fit in just fine here.

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16 Responses

  1. haha! gotta love the life of those rural folk! i would imagine this little hobby of his will be coming to a quick end as roseman will slide no more bear wrestling into his contract.

  2. He was just on missanelli’s show and said the whole thing is not true. And to be honest only a moron would have believed that it was. Idiots

    1. Lane’s only been here one full day, and he has already made Kyle look like the gullible loser (read: Bitch) that we all know he is. I liken this kid already! Welcome to Philly

  3. Lane wrestles bears, and Kyle wrestles chicks for the chance to be sexually dominated by either Jeff Carter or Mike Richards.

  4. I am assuming everyone here, including Kyle, knows this was a joke. Johnson said so last night. Good joke by Johnson though… points for that

    1. How hard was it to type that with Kyles dick in your mouth? Did you have to type around his hips? That mustve taken some bit of work

        1. Ron Mexico, you piece of shit. I’m tired of you spreading your filth around these comment sections. Almost as bad as the herpes you spray all over unsuspecting, innocent co-ed strippers on a nightly basis. Dirty cocksuck

  5. funny kyle thinks hes internet savvy then gets his jimmies rustled by a redneck inbred 20 yr old. kid made the whole bear thing up and yous thought he was dead serious. oh lawdy

    1. Kyle has a legitimate excuse! He was busy watching replaying the ame episode of the Lochte Show over and over again, so he could masterbate in a bitter rage at the fact that Ryan Lochte has yet to return any of his phone calls. So if he wasn’t at the top of his game, and he couldn’t catch the fact that Lane Johnson was pulling everyone’s legs, thats the reason.

  6. even i, sean brace, know this was a joke. and i have NO BUSINESS talking sports on the radio. how did i even get in this position? did i win a contest like that guy did a few years ago on this station? i forget. either way, i really don’t know shit about sports and i’m just faking it on a daily basis.

    but yeah, good lord this blog is 5th rate.

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