Morning Wood: The New Normal

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via reader Bryan

Hello friends. This is life as a Phillies fan in 2013.

I’m not ready to declare Doc dead yet, but the meme is spot-on– right now, you can expect mediocrity+ out of Kendrick, whereas with Halladay, you’ll feel lucky to get consecutive scoreless innings.

It’s a weird time. A weird world. Halladay and Hamels have struggled in their four combined starts, but Lee, Kendrick anJohn Lannan have looked good to very good. It’s a world in which Chase Utley has knees and Domonic Brown has confidence. It’s a world in which we’re seeing quotes like this: []

“I was just trying to find a tempo and get into a quick rhythm,” Kendrick said. “The first couple innings, I threw a lot of pitches. I know that. But I was able to settle down and have some quicker innings and get through six.”

“We’re just not missing our pitches,” Brown said about the offense. “We’re preparing the right way, making sure we’re having fun and doing the little things when guys get on base.”

Those are from Kyle Kendrick and Domonic Brown. Kyle Kendrick and Domonic Brown… old, sage leaders. Amazing.

And production out of the middle on the order helps, too:

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Let’s Wood!

Chase Utley is sex right now. He’s hitting .333 with two home runs, nine RBIs, two doubles and a triple in 38 at-bats. His OPS is a dreamy 1.031. Here’s video of his bomb last night. Both of his home runs this season have been to dead center and T-MAC WANTS TO SCREAM THAT AT YOU.

Dom Brown bomb:


Police cited 61 underage kids for drinking before the Phillies game on Tuesday.

Bryce Harper killed a baseball.

Carlos Ruiz is getting ready in Clearwa… wait, where was I… yeah, I love the new season of Gam…ter. Carlos Ruiz is getting ready in Clearwater.

Marlins Park is empty.


16 Responses

    1. People hate on KK because we have grown accustomed to having a staff of aces. The guy is 55-43 over his career with a 4.32 ERA. The numbers speak for themselves he is a quality 4th or 5th starter. Not to mention, he has done this while being shuffled back and forth between the rotation and the pen, all without complaining.

  1. Interesting that after Brown’s HR, Howard (6) and Brown(9) bowed together to form 69.

  2. Yea was down there on opening day watching a high school party. There was at least 50 of them. Kids drinking out of wawa cups at 1:30-2pm, playing dizzy-bat, and every other one with a back pack on. Cops came over and busted them as well.
    BTW—shout out to the hot, tall, blonde undercover state trooper. She can put me in cuffs anyday.

    1. yeah, they get busted because they are not the least bit inconspicuous about it. it would be one thing if the cops were like the gestapo and busting a good time. however, the underagers i saw on saturday night were not only really underage, but they made no attempt to clandestinely drink. they walked around with their beers and liquor in the wide open. they were breaking bottles and fighting each other. thats the type of shit that will draw cops.

  3. You are using the Metro? even CB is a step up from the Metro, you can do better than that.

    If they want to crack down on underage drinking they should start with dollar dog nights… Back at the vet when I was underage I enjoyed adult beverages in Gatorade bottles.

  4. once again, it was nice to see the bats come alive and stay alive during last night’s game. hopefully, they can ride such batting momentum this weekend vs the shitty marlins. a nice sweep of them will have this team feeling great with a 5-game win streak.

    on a side note, not surprised by the state police sweep of the parking lot. being as we all did underage drinking when in high school and college i am not going to climb atop a pulpit. however, the underage drinking in the lots has gotten worse over the years. its one thing if a 19 or 20 year old wants to do a few brews while throwing ladders, but i was down there on saturday night and was utterly amazed to see how many 14 and 15 year olds were walking around in a stupefied state!

  5. This is exactly why I preached patience the other day. The glass is more than half full. Chooch is coming back, they get a trimmed down and motivated (albeit batshit crazy) Delmon Young soon…They will be just fine.

    Doc will get it back. Chooch will help him find it.


  6. CLLT is back for to lay some statistical smackdown upon Mike Smeck’s behind. Only 1 out of 3 starts (33%) is a quality start for our magical Kendrickorn? You are too simple. Sir Kyle made 25 starts last season, and 13 were recorded as quality starts (52%).

    Oh, look at his career numbers, you’ll say. Okay. Let’s. In 125 starts, he’s recorded a quality start in 61 of them (49%). That is, of course, nowhere near Doc’s mark of 66% of his career starts being recorded as quality. But still, the MLB average is 49%-50%, and KK is right there.

    So, I ask you, oh ever-knowing fount of knowledge, what is /your/ definition of a quality start? A perfect game?

  7. Hey “Doobs”, I’d like to do the horizontal flamingo with you, if you know what i mean….

  8. I don’t understand everyone’s Kendrick hate. The dude does exactly what hes supposed to do, be a 4th/5th starter. He has flashes of brilliance and just downright bag of shit games as well.

    Its not like hes fucking Adam Eaton blowing cocks on the mound every single night raking in money.

  9. If Ruben brought Freddy Garcia back, he’d be a more suitable starter than Doc right now.

  10. @”Doobs” I didnt…this time.
    3 girls came over, all stumbling holding each other up. 1 said to the others I have to stop drinking I have my drivers test tomorrow. 1 kid said, while pouring a beer, it was Senior Skip day. & we were in the Wells Lot next to XFin, we werent even in the K lot where all the $hit goes down! Going to be a long summer.
    Side note—2 wins in a row…1 more you call that a winning streak. Bring on the Marlins. Relax guys, Doc will be fine.

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