Beat a Blogger

Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 12.21.10 PMRyan Lawrence hasn’t responded to my challenge to defend my title in the Home Runs For Heart Media Day hitting contest that I wasn’t invited to this year. Nope. He just took my trophy and ran. But I’m over it. I’ll always own the left field power alley for non-sensical hitting events at CBP (this includes batting practice for Phillies outfielders) and Lawrence can’t do anything about it. Now I need a new challenge. Something else to be incredibly obnoxious about.

Would you like to kick my ass? If you find yourself nodding and mouthing yes to that question or are this guy…

Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 12.56.37 PM

… then here’s your chance.

If Lawrence doesn’t want a showdown, then I’m giving you, the CB reader, an opportunity. This summer I’m accepting challenges… in anything. Think you are a better free-throw shooter than me? Have a 90 mph fastball you think you can blow by me? Are you Chris Therien and do you want to race me around a rink? Fill out this form and describe what you think you can kick my ass in. It can be athletic, beer pong, trivia, assorted games of skill and chance. Whatever. I’ll pick the best ones and come onto your turf. We’ll film it and put it on this the site and make you all sorts of famous and get you lots of ladies who are totally turned on by guys who were on blogs. Now’s your chance: Beat a Blogger.

Group requests are fine. But I probably won’t be allowed to except orgy invites, which should disappoint all the writers at Jezebel.

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27 Responses

        1. Standard gloves are around 12 oz, but I’m assuming only badasses like yourself use 6 oz. MMA is for fags, as a boxer prances around to win by decision because he only wants to land jabs 2:30 out of the 3 minutes in each round…

          1. Anything under middleweight uses 8 oz, bigger uses 10, but good try.

            Ask Rios or Provodnikov how they felt about just getting jabbed. Stop watching Mayweather.

          2. Mayweather made over $80 million last year. Dead how? Wake me up when MMA can touch a million PPV buys

          3. NBA has better ratings than NHL, doesn’t make it a better sport. You just said “stop watching Mayweather”, then you go and swallow his load. You can’t sit there and defend boxing when the 2 biggest fighters refused to fight one another and now one is washed up. You have Bernard Hopkins running around with a belt at the age of 50 because he clutch and grabs his way to victory against bums. Name a boxer besides Mayweather that can sell ANYTHING on PPV. The Klitschko’s fight overseas and on tape delay because they can’t create any interest. It’s a dead sport, deal with it. Add up all PPV numbers throughout the year and then see who does more business. Do some research kid, thanks.

  1. I would say who can spin the best sports soundtrack for ANY arena. Loser gets to be the whipping boy.

  2. Challenge: Who can unload a larger Cleveland Steamer. You or me
    Place to be held: Ryan Lochte’s stomach

  3. If the challenge is anything else than a MarioKart/Goldeneye/SuperSmashBros triathlon then I don’t see Kyle standing a change.

    Also, who can give your wife a better O should be on the table.

  4. Let’s do this Kyle!!! A drum off! Plenty of open mics around the city with full backline/kits provided! All in good fun.

  5. Why should I bother beating you at something I know you’ve got no chance at beating me in? It would be like competing against a toddler.

      1. It might be a clever mistake. He’s making it look like he meant he can’t participate in orgies. However, the current wording implies that if offered an orgy challenge, he couldn’t refuse it.

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