F$^ing Yinzers

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The daughter and the dog, from the mother’s Facebook page

Tribune-Review:

Holiday travelers were shocked on Monday evening to see a 10-year-old girl in a dog cage in the back of a pickup on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

Their calls led police to Millvale, where the child was found unharmed in the cage with a small dog. Her mother and stepfather were charged with endangering the welfare of a child.

Abbey Carlson, 29, who is the child’s mother, and Thomas Fishinger, 30, both of Millvale, were awaiting arraignment on Monday night in Night Court on the charges filed after Millvale police stopped the truck near their home on Evergreen Road.

Fishinger, who was driving the pickup, told police they were driving home from his mother’s house in Beaver County.

When asked why the juvenile was in the cage, Fishinger told them she had asked to be with the dog, a criminal complaint states.

Fucking Yinzers. Although, this reminds me of the time I finished off a night this winter with an extra Mad Elf*, the 11% Troegs Christmas-time Ale that makes you do strange things, and wound up on the floor sleeping in Hayley’s bed. I guess I just wanted to hang out with the dog. Don’t see any difference between that and a parent throwing their daughter in a cage in the back of a pickup on the Turnpike. Tomato-tomahto.

*Two things about Mad Elf: 1) Seasonal brews are becoming less and less seasonal. The Elf shows himself in, like, the first week of October, when I’m all in pumpkin beer mode, and is gone by Thanksgiving. That ain’t right. Sam Summer Ale starts in March. Octoberfest will be out in a week. The brewers need to slow their roll here. I’m convinced they play as much a part in our shifting seasons as Al Gore does. 2) Anyone else experience the Mad Elf crash? An hour after drinking one there’s about a 10-minute window where you’re borderline suicidal… or just really tired. Can’t tell.

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8 Responses

  1. Look at the decor (paneling and the couch)! That place is screaming Yinzer!

  2. Whenever i have 3-4 Mad Elfs, i always tend to pass out on the couch with my body pressed all the way to the back portion. Kind of like Spiderman when he’s on a building. I call it the Mad Elf slumber. What a great beer.

  3. How great will it be when I am lifting the cup in three weeks? #1975, don’t even try to defend it. You need to lose the broad street bullies mentality before you can compete with us.

  4. Mad elf is good. Try some Weyerbacher “TINY” or “Old Heathen”. mmm mmm good. If you like getting tilted off beer quickly anyway….

  5. Agreed on the seasonal beer speed up. It’s beer, not clothes. No need to market ahead of the time when the public actually wants the beer!
    The Elf will linger in certain bars in Center City well after Xmas, if you know where to look.
    But yeah, Mad Elf & Golden Monkey aren’t just beers. They’re like the Absinthe of beers, strange shit happens after too many.
    Oh, and about the actual story. Meh. Dumbass Hillbillies will do dumb shit. That’s why they’re on this planet; our entertainment.

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