Rough go of it lately for Kobe Bryant– he tore his Achilles last month, has been forced to send a cease and desist to his mom, and he hasn’t raped anybody in at least a few years.
Kobe’s lawyer has sent a cease and desist to to Goldin Auctions, who has scheduled an auction for June that includes some of Kobe’s Lower Merion jerseys, a Lakers jersey, two championship rings… and, for some strange reason, a Teen Choice Awards surfboard. The items were submitted to the auction house by Kobe’s mom, Pamela, who claims that her son didn’t want them and that she is the rightful owner.
Pamela is using the expected $1.5 million haul from the auction to buy a house in Las Vegas.
Seven or eight years ago, well after Kobe had gotten married, Pamela Bryant asked her son’s wife, Vanessa, if she wanted the items. She said no – those items belonged to the past, according to the suit.
And so, five years ago, the lawsuit says, Pamela Bryant packed up the jerseys, the championship rings, and award plaques, spending $1,500 a month to store and insure them in West Berlin.
“Pamela Bryant indicated to Ken Goldin that Kobe Bryant has never demanded the return of any of the items, nor were they in any way taken from [him] without his permission,” the suit says.
Two glaring questions here: In what convoluted family dynamic do you have to issue a cease and desist involving your mother? I mean, every few years, my Mom threatens to get rid of my baseball cards and some old jerseys and stuff, but a phone call and reminder about the time she broke my smiley face ring when I was little usually puts a stop to that. And, why DOESN’T KOBE JUST BUY HIS MOM THE HOUSE? He’s worth $200 million— surely he could purchase his (estranged?) parents a house to keep them happy. At the very least, Pamela has to have something on Kobe to extort him into buying her a plush mansion near the strip, right? That’s the proper thing to do. Don’t sell his childhood memories… just blackmail him. Simple. You’ll save on lawyer fees.
How much you want to bet Adam Aron tries to buy a few Lower Merion jerseys to hang at the Well because history!