As you may or may not know, May is National Masturbation Month (or, as us boys like to call it: just another month), and Philadelphia is getting a bit of extra special attention thanks to a Crowdrise.com masturbate-a-thon that asks participants to solicit pledges for every hour they spend masturbating between now and May 27 (a king’s ransom for some!). Money earned benefits Pleasure Rush and ScrewSmart. The initiative will climax with a massive and euphoric event called Creamium on May 27:
Both Pleasure Rush! and ScrewSmart believe that the Philly Masturbate-a-Thon 2013 has the power to deliver the following:
• Reduce stigma and shame around sexuality!
• Promote sexual health!
• Create a community dialogue around the importance of pleasure!
• Give you an excuse to jerk-off for hours!
Here’s how it works: the Philly Masturbate-a-Thon 2013 wants people engaged and involved in sexing themselves up- and talking about it! Start your own Crowdrise page by clicking the “Join our team” button below. You can name it anything you’d like- it’s a site to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences as you get it on with yourself all month. Use this as an excuse to wine and dine yourself, or to be proud of your regular self-loving routine 🙂 You’ve successfully joined the Masturbate-a-thon!
This month long event will conclude with the smutty and lovable Creamium. Winners of different categories will be recognized for their onanistic efforts. Creamium is a live debaucherous game show/dance party that tests participant’s knowledge of all things sexual. This event will be open to everyone who wants to celebrate sex!
But here’s the good news to help you in your charitable self-stroking endeavors: Eagles cheerleaders will be shooting their calendar at the Jersey Shore:
The calendar will feature all of the cheerleaders modeling in numerous NJ shore cities. The images will showcase the beauty of the beaches and include many locations that make the Jersey Shore unique and memorable, whether it’s Lucy the Elephant in Margate, the Cape May Lighthouse, or Morey’s Piers in Wildwood. By also featuring areas that endured more devastation caused by Hurricane Sandy, such as sites in Atlantic City, Ventnor, and Seaside Heights, the Eagles Cheerleaders will be able to shine a spotlight on the astounding recovery in those areas as well as help to spread the important message that establishments are open for business.
No idea when that will be happening, but you might as well just lock yourself inside a window-tinted(!) car outside Lucy and start fapping away.* You’ll eventually see something to help you raise some bones… and perhaps it will be a scantily clad Eagles cheerleader.
*Don’t actually do this. It’s very creepy and likely even more illegal.