Maybe if Aroldis Chapman wasn’t such a fatass he wouldn’t have given up consecutive home runs to a guy who endorses turkey bacon and a former PED user with six career home runs. But, he is, he is a fat ass. Before the game, he was given 100 pastries courtesy of friend and Phillies Spanish-language broadcaster Rickie Ricardo, who, apparently, has a habit of giving Cuban players around the league pastries from a Cuban bakery in Union City, New Jersey.
Ricardo explained on the WIP Morning Show today: [CBS Philly]
“Aroldis Chapman, since he arrived in the U.S. and on a major league team, he has become a friend of mine, and as I do for many Cuban players they always ask me—there is a little Cuban bakery up near where I live in the Cuban strong hold of Union City, New Jersey. They cook this little Cuban pastry, which is a flaky-crust pasty with cream cheese and guava and it’s baked, and it’s absolutely delicious. Now, if you eat more than two of these you’re clogging up your arteries—you’re a stroke waiting to happen! Well, Chapman asked me on Friday night after the game to stop by the bakery and pick up a box of 50. For example, Livan Hernandez, guys like that—even Chooch, guys on our team, they’ll put 10-15 of these things away with a couple of glasses of milk. It’s equivalent of the Krispy Kreme donuts when they come right out of the oven, it’s that kind of a thing.”
“Could you imagine cream cheese and guava on a baked pastry? Well Chapman asked me for a box of 100, two boxes of 50. When I saw him on Sunday morning before the game, he was in the club house, he had just eaten about 18 of them. He couldn’t breathe! I looked at my partner, I said, ‘he’s ripe for the taking today.”
Three hours later, Ricardo had the call – in awesome Spanish – as Freddy Galvis walked Chapman off:
Bien jugado, Rickie.