And Now, Leonard Weaver Live Tweets A GUNMAN ON THE LOOSE(!)

Everyone’s favorite Twittererererererererer, Leonard Weaver, was about to fly (presumably not on his own) from Charlotte to Dallas this afternoon when the start of his journey was disrupted by a “security concern” at the airport. As you might imagine, the Whisper Down The Lane* nature of such an event took hold, and what turned out to be a passenger who slipped past security became A GUNMAN ON THE LOOSE, WEAVE(!):

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Shit, Weave. What’s going on? And where’s Charolett?

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Oh fuck! Take cover. Get to a safe place, alright? You hear me? But I’m gonna need you, like Morgan Freeman needed Gerard Butler in Olympus Has Fallen.

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That… doesn’t sound like a good hiding spot.

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– three hours later –

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That was it. No follow up from Weave. No update to his horrifying ordeal. No hey sorry about the gunman scare it was just this:

A checkpoint at the Charlotte-Douglas International Airport was temporarily shut down on Thursday morning after airport officials say there was a “security concern.”

According to airport spokesperson Lee Davis, there was a security concern at one of the checkpoints on Thursday morning.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) says the incident happened around 10:30 a.m. Thursday morning.

“A passenger at Charlotte Douglas International Airport left the checkpoint prior to the completion of the screening process,” TSA officials told WBTV.

The incident resulted in that checkpoint being temporarily shut down as the TSA investigated.

According to the TSA and airport officials, the checkpoints re-opened after about six minutes and normal operations resumed.

A harrowing six minutes, indeed.

*That game never ceases to amaze me how it always manages to fuck up a seemingly simple and not-easy-to-make-dirty-at-all sentence like “Joey Mott played with gum in his mitt” and turn it into something completely sexual like “Julie got sprayed with…” Never mind.


4 Responses

  1. For all the waiting time, ball grabbing, child molesting, old-lady-diaper-raping the TSA has done in the decade since 9/11, they’ve caught exactly.. wait for it.. yep… ZERO terrorists.

    Fucking waste of money paying these mouth breathing neckbeards to check 4 yr olds for suicide vests…

    1. Dude of course they haven’t caught any terrorists yet. That’s because the government orchestrated 9/11. All this TSA bullshit is just to trick people into thinking there’s someone out to get us.

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