Donovan McNabb Needs to Stop Stalking RGIII

I don’t even know why Donovan McNabb is trying to be a mentor to RGIII. It doesn’t make any sense. Sure, McNabb played under the same terrible regime in Washington. And he’s a black quarterback who used to run a lot. But that’s about where the similarities stop. Yet, Former Five continues to try to lend RGIII an ear which he doesn’t need.

The latest came from McNabb, who, on his talk show last night, responded to RGIII saying in a GQ interview that it’s probably best that he and McNabb don’t talk.

McNabb was, predictably, butthurt:

“I’m just trying to help him. Clearly the young generation, they think they have all the answers. He’s going through a little turmoil right now, trying to make it out on the field, and it’s unfortunate. But that’s where we’re at right now as far as these young quarterbacks who think they have all the answers. Until things start to fall apart and come down trembling on you, then you want some help. But it’s a shame. I honestly think that over there in Washington, he’s getting brainwashed. He’s getting input from whoever it may be on, ‘There’s no reason to talk to him, it didn’t work out here.’ If they expressed their dislike when I was there, or what I used to do, so be it. But, I hope the best for the young man, but the direction he’s going in is really a direction he does not want to do. He does not want to go there with me, especially when I got the last word.”

WHAT IS THIS EVEN ABOUT?! Why is Donovan McNabb insisting that he be RGIII’s oracle? RGIII just married a white chick who performs in YouTube rap videos with him. And he sexts a side piece. Does McNabb, the most sensitive athlete ever, really believe he has something to add to this young man’s life?

DonovanHey man… here’s how to not be cool. Do you remember The Moonwalk?

RGIII: Man, WHAT THE FUCK are you talking about? This is how I roll:

Like, I’m actually becoming an RGIII fan because he’s being man-stalked by McNabb. I feel bad for the guy. No one should have to put up with that. McNabb is like Alan from The Hangover, if only Alan from The Hangover were an annoying ex-quarterback who, instead of roofies and unintentional hilarity, leeched onto your skin and filled your life with PMS-like passive aggressiveness at every turn. I’m not mad, Robert. I’m just saying, you should have ordered the Skinny Girl instead of the Don Julio. It will make you fat, like me. No one liked me once I got to fat. But it’s cool. We still cool. 

Are we at the point where RGIII can file a restraining order yet? Because he should do that.

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  • Sam McNabb August 14, 2013 at 10:30 am

    RG3 loves cheating on his wife. Scumbag was sending dick pics to a hooters waitress the night before his wedding. Pos

  • Talbot's Fucking Penis August 14, 2013 at 10:38 am

    In McNabb’s defense, RGIII is the one who brought up a dead topic and McNabb responded to that. Say what you want about McNabb, but for a running quarterback (at least his first 3 years), he avoided big hits and played smart. At the rate RGIII is going, he’ll be out of football by 2016…and for that I will be happy.

  • Lawson August 14, 2013 at 10:42 am

    This is so hilariously hypocritical. You NEED McNabb to keep talking. You HOPE he keeps talking. Because then you will have story to SELL. If you keep him around by mentioning him all the time, you are going to hear him continue to talk. Let him go. You and the rest of the media are equally guilty for man-stalking him. Enough already.

    • Kyle Scott August 14, 2013 at 11:11 am

      Thanks for the caps. That really hammered your message home.

  • Informed August 14, 2013 at 10:45 am

    I do not understand why McNabb feels so compelled to mentor RG III. As of now, it would appear RG III requires very little tutorial. He had a great rookie season and does not appear to have any serious character flaws. So, If McNabb wants to lend a hand of guidance then he should focus on his children then. However, I will say RG III was wrong in making such a public statement. No need to be quoted in a major magazine. If you wish to decline the offer, then phone McNabb privately and say such. The public decline was a bit out of line but maybe that is the only way to get the message through McNabb’s thick skull.

    • ThePhillyFlash August 14, 2013 at 10:49 am

      Donnie Drama is acting like a jilted lover, and he simply can’t handle the idea of having been rejected. By the way, since when did McNabb get it in his head that he was some sort of mentor when he’s still very much a mama’s boy?

  • Candy from the Oak August 14, 2013 at 10:58 am

    Number 5 is made cause he blew his loaded into a black woman. Just jealous of the black nfl player banging all the hot disappointing their fathers white girls.

  • Candy from the Oak August 14, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Mad 🙂

  • Fuck Donnie McFlabb August 14, 2013 at 11:01 am

    McNabb is and will always be an overrated bitch that has an estrogen imbalance, and each time some moron fan says “He’s the greatest QB in Eagles history!” simply because our dumb fat fuck of a coach threw the ball 80% of the time, his ego inflates a little bit more. When your two most famous actions in the NFL revolve around Freddie Mitchell and vomit, you should just stfu and go spend your millions.

  • Dusty Rhoades Joe Robertson August 14, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Something tells me RG111 isn’t ever going to be winning any good looking contests

  • Lawson August 14, 2013 at 3:38 pm

    Haha, speaking of being butthurt….thanks for the sarcasm. Can’t say I expected anything else.

    • Talbot's Fucking Penis August 14, 2013 at 4:25 pm

      You must be new and haven’t figured out the art of replying…

  • StJames888 December 6, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    Donovan, face it… you’re over, through, finished. All you have left is the sand in your vagjayjay to throw in other peoples face.

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