Eagles Cut Firefighter Danny Watkins

Photo: Baylor
Photo: Baylor

The 78-year-old fire-fighting, hockey-playing, garbage-picking, field goal-kicking Canadian was released by the Eagles today, just two years after being the team’s first round draft pick.

Danny Watkins, the offensive lineman who, apparently, liked to tell people that he volunteered and fought fires at local fire company but who actually just showed for fundraising events, hadn’t played well since, well, ever. He wasn’t very good at football.

We open our hydrants and pour one out all over the street for Mr. Watkins.

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15 Responses

  1. Dear Kansas City fans,

    I’m sorry for what you are about to endure. But it’s your own fault.

    Sincerely,
    Anyone Who Has Experienced Andy Reid’s Coaching

  2. Fuck the fat man Andy Reid, and fire that jewish scumbag Howie Roseman. I hope Roseman gets hit by a truck by a German BMW. Fuck you Howie.

  3. Pfft! Watkins should’ve been cut LAST year. Thanks for nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, Danny boy.

    1. Hey does anyone know if he can play the outfield? I’ll sign anyone for the outfield. Seriously. FUCKING ANYBODY.

  4. Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
    From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
    The summer’s gone, and all the flowers are dying
    ‘Tis you, ’tis you must go and I must bide.
    But come ye back when summer’s in the meadow
    Or when the valley’s hushed and white with snow
    ‘Tis I’ll be here in sunshine or in shadow
    Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

    And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
    And I am dead, as dead I well may be
    You’ll come and find the place where I am lying
    And kneel and say an “Ave” there for me.

    And I shall hear, tho’ soft you tread above me
    And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
    If you’ll not fail to tell me that you love me
    I’ll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

    I’ll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

  5. Danny Watkins, Jaiquawn Jarret, Curtis Marsh, and Casey Matthews.

    Those were the Eagles first four picks of the 2011 NFL draft.

    Andy Reid and Howie Roseman, ladies and gentlemen.

  6. Who would not of expected a 26 year old O lineman from canada not to be successful ?! F cheesesteak Reid and Jew GM . Do a better job

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