The Phillies Have Designated Laynce Nix for Assignment

Screen Shot 2013-07-22 at 3.30.36 PM Somewhere, a lonely and oft-overlooked Y weeps. The Phillies have recalled Dom Brown and designated Laynce Nix for assignment.

Nice pickup last year by Ruben Amaro, though. Laynce really brought a lot to the ball club. Of course, his lack of success with the Phillies was foreshadowed last spring, when Rube and I enjoyed a game together:

Rube’s reactions picked up as the game went on. Laynce Nix killed what I believe was shaping up to be a rally (that is, one run) by popping up lazily.

“Goddammit,” Rube mumbled.

And that just about sums up the Laynce Nix era.

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22 Responses

  1. But, Michael Martinez some how has a job. That guy has no business being in the majors.

      1. Not arguing for Nix, but Martinez is arguably the worse player in baseball over the last 25 years. Neither guy is worth shit, but at least Nix has a hot wife and for that alone he should still be on the team.

  2. Thank god, if i had to watch nix strike out one more time on 3 pitches i probably would of had to bang his wife

  3. Another reason to cut the dick off of Amaro. You have to get rid of one of these guys, which one is it? (career BA, OBP, SLG)

    Nate Shierholtz
    .269 .320 .426

    Lance Nix
    .240 .286 .417

    Mini Mart
    .185 .236 .266

    1. Literally the exact point I was going to make. Can’t believe they didn’t tender Schierholtz. Fuckin Ruben.

    2. That and Schierholtz is a very good defensive outfielder.

      Why he was let go is just a mystery.

      And most of our current bench has no business being on a major league roster, Martinez, McDonald? They’d practically be on the bench in AAA.

  4. Shoulda kept Nate Schierholtz instead of Nix. Not that it woulda made any difference with this sorry ass excuse for a squad, but once again, Rube dropped the ball.

  5. Beat It Laynce! Hopefully Mini Shart Martinez, John (who.the.fuck?) McDonald and Delmon Super Size Me Young are the next to get the pink slip…we’re stuck with Mayberry

  6. In other, more relevant news, Riley Cooper completely abused the Patriots secondary at the mixed team practice today.

    Chip is live on PhiladelphiaEagles.com right now.

  7. Thank fucking God. Laynce Nix eats dicks. Get his ferret beady eyes the fuck out of MLB.

  8. I would like designate my tongue for assignment in lane nix’s wife’s asshole

  9. It’s sad that Cole married a 50yo Can only imagine the black baby comments he’s throws in her face

  10. Hmm it appears like your blog ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any points for newbie blog writers? I’d certainly appreciate it.

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