Watch as that Dweeb Ken Rosenthal Tries to Get You to Hate Shane Victorino

Screw Ken Rosenthal, that little bow-tie-wearing, four-foot-two, smaller-than-the-average-guy dweeb for this horrific and pandering line of questioning to Shane Victorino just moments after Victorino and the Red Sox won the World Series.

How much more meaningful is it to win this series, in this town, in this park, in this city?


For a brief moment, Victorino’s Philly legacy hung in the balance. It hinged on the next words to come out of his mouth, which, for Victo, meant that the odds were stacked firmly against him.

But he handled it well: Hey, all those that were affected in the tragedy: Boston Strong!

Good answer, Shane. Goooooood answer.

Now, don’t let my compliment fool you. I was very much rooting for Shane Victorino to not win the World Series, to not grand slam the Red Sox into it, to not hit a three-RBI double and another bases loaded single to clinch it, to not win another Gold Glove, to not be one of the faces of Boston sports forever and all-time. No. I can’t take it anymore. Last night, I was curled up in the corner, firmly in the fetal position. Ruben Amaro traded Victo and Hunter Pence last summer for total shit and then both went on to play major roles in helping their teams win the World Series in consecutive years while the Phillies have completely bottomed out and the realization has set in that A) their window is closed and B) they probably kept the wrong guys! They re-signed Jimmy Rollins, who, last night, was on an apprenticeship for his next career and sitting in a makeshift broadcast booth a hundred yards away from where his friend and former teammate was Boston Stronging his way into Beantown lore.  NO. NO. NOOOOOO!

Here you go, you dope, Amaro. Here’s statistical baseball genius Bill James, a Red Sox advisor-mastermind, on the field last night, drinking, laughing. Laughing at you and your antiquated philosophies:

pic via (@doctomg), Brian Kenny
pic via (@doctomg), Brian Kenny

I really need a timeout of some sort. I’m getting irrationally angry at Philly GMs because the Red Sox won the World Series. Think about how messed up that is! That’s what this town has done to me, done to you. We’re Jesse Pinkman after Walt basically killed everyone that he loved. Our spirits are broken.

BTW, the top searches on CB this morning– Shane Victorino wife, Shane Victorino girlfriend…

Screen Shot 2013-10-31 at 7.43.02 AM

… those things aren’t the same.


15 Responses

  1. Hey at least we have the Eagles… Oh wait they’re a mess. What’s worse, they’re a boring mess.
    Well there’s the Flyers… How’s that? They’re all of the sudden a bottomfeeder NHL franchise?
    OK well at least we get to watch the Sixers tank the shit out of this season and get a dynamic player or two in the draft.
    You’re fucking kidding me, right?

  2. Shane will stick his cock into anybody that’s not his wife.
    Loves carousing on the town & commiting adultery. He’ll fuck anybody to break the 7th commandment

  3. Why root against Victorino? He and the Boston Marathon story are the only reasons I’m at all happy Boston won. I can’t stand Boston fans and wasn’t rooting for the Red Sox, but still rooted for Victorino when he came up. He was always a class act in Philly and without him we don’t even sniff a WS in 08. No reason to root against the guy simply because Ruin Tomorrow, Jr. traded him.

  4. Kyle, can we look forward to Pence and Victorino being the new Richards and Carter?

  5. What did Rosenthal do wrong? I have no idea what this article is about.

    And let’s be clear. The Red Sox overpaid for Victorino. He is nothing more than an average player on a roster full of gamers. Just like in ’08, it is easy to be Shane when you have Utley, Howard and Werth doing the heavy lifting.

    The Phils aren’t made out of enough money to roll more replacement level players out at high salaries. This is why Pence isn’t here and why Shane isn’t here. We already have that from Howard and Rollins.

    1. You might want to check out Vicorino’s 2008 postseason numbers again to see who carried who. I agree Boston overpaid for him, but let’s not disrespect the guys accomplishments here just because he plays for a different team.

    2. Dr., Dr., Dr., He has the 9th highest WAR of any OF in MLB for 2012-2013. That sir, is not just average. So of 30 teams with 3-4 OF’s he’s about 9 of 95 or so. Get your shit straight fool. Plus he’d have stayed in Philly at a discount and still should be here. If he did Baaaahstan would not have made it to the WS most likely. Your Mother has spoken, now come massage my bunions.

  6. I agree, that was a shitty question by Rosenthal. He was trying to get Victorino to say that the Boston win was more important than the Philly win. Your first ring is always the one that holds the most importance. Good job by Shane to defuse what would have been a divisive answer no matter which team he picked.

    1. Yea, hearing someone say, “fucking,” is better than winning three World Series in ten years.

  7. Love Shane, hate Kenny. When the phils were in the series, kenny went out of his way to trash the team any chance he had. he’s a straight d bag.

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