Your Monday Morning Roundup

Voila_Capture329I think probably Les Bowen put it best in describing the Eagles’ real problem– they continually look underprepared:

Kelly is right that you’re dead in this league if you don’t get good quarterbacking. But it’s disappointing that after the Dallas loss, knowing he probably wasn’t going to get stellar QB play yesterday from a guy coming off an injury or a rookie, Kelly couldn’t figure out a way to run the offense through McCoy, (15 carries, 48 yards) or razzle-dazzle his way to even one touchdown.

“I think when you’re unsettled at that position in this league, it’s real difficult,” Kelly said. “I was concerned all week long. When you’re not settled at that position in this league, you better have a quarterback. And right now we’re unstable at the quarterback spot and we are not playing well at the quarterback spot, and we lost our last two games because of it.”

The Eagles having an unstable quarterback spot is not the reason they scored 10 points in their last two games against mediocre and bad opponents. The problem is hard to put your finger on, but multiple times this season, they have looked less than adequately prepared in certain situations.

Knowing that there was a real possibility Matt Barkley would play yesterday, and him looking ill-equipped to do so, is an example. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but how many times did Andy Reid lose a quarterback and the team not miss a beat, at least initially? Koy Detmer, A.J. Feely, Jeff Garcia, and even Kevin Kolb and Nick Foles in their spot starts– all of those guys looked like they could run an NFL offense.

Barkley was in a tough spot, but there was one play yesterday in the Eagles’ own territory that showed just how in over his head he was. This one:


That’s the most basic read option play there is– if the defender keys on the running back, the quarterback keeps it. Justin Tuck was nearly erotically asphyxiating Bryce Brown before Brown got the ball. Barkley has to know better there. It’s the main thing the Eagles have worked on under Kelly. And Kelly has to know if Barkley isn’t capable of making that decision, especially at his own nine yard line.

I like Kelly’s philosophies – both offensively and as they relate to technology and conditioning – and his offense, obviously, is capable of being explosive. But there have been times this season where the Eagles have looked grossly underprepared and nearly incapable of making in-game adjustments. And though Reid always suffered from the latter problem, you never got the sense that him and his staff didn’t prepare for every facet of the game (as misguided as those preparations may have been sometimes).

Kelly’s never had to adjust like this, and he’s never coached in a league where something as small as the decision to give the third-string quarterback extra reps in practice or tell the kick returner not to run the ball out of the end zone really mattered.

People have compared Kelly’s offense to Madden strategies. But he’s more like a video game in general. Some facets of his gameplan are exquisite and insanely fun… others appear to have been overlooked. Like, there’s obvious AI glitches in there. Someone needs to fix those, because these last two games were as embarrassing as anything we’ve seen during the Reid era. And it’s not just the quarterbacks’s’s’s fault.

Let’s hit it.


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The roundup:

Sheil Kapadia details all of Kelly’s blunders. Love that word– blunder. It’s dirty sounding.

Imagine my horror late Friday night when I woke up to see these pictures of Nick Minaj wearing a Villanova jersey:

Voila_Capture326 Voila_Capture327

She performed at Hoops Mania on Friday night, and I’m not really sure how to react to that. She’s a big name, I guess she’s kind of a good get. I mean, I once saw Mims perform This is Why I’m Hot at one of these things… so Minaj might be a step up from that. But 50 Cent also showed up one time. Whatever. Nicki Minaj is now wearing a Villanova jersey in her Twitter profile pic and I’m just gonna go with it, see where it leads. Boom boom boom boom boom boom super bass.

You may have missed it late Friday, but Evan Turner said just about the dumbest thing you could say:

“I just show up and work hard. It doesn’t really bother me. I just take it one day at a time. I’ll be somewhere next year, so all that other stuff doesn’t bother me. I’m going to play hard, and I’m going to get my money, regardless.”

He took to his Instagram to explain:


The quote:

“The same sword they knight you, they gone good night you wit…” I usually dont care what is written about me or what people think but in this case I do. I know you’ll never win a fight with the media but ill fight any day when my character and intentions are misunderstood.This headline doesnt describe me as a person or who I am. Basketball is my passion, I dont play to get a paycheck. I play cause I love the game. I think its unreal and a blessing to be able to make money doing something you love to do and thats what I am doing. The headline above was intended to take the attention off me and keep it on my team. Im truly not worried about a matter that will be dealt with when the time comes. Im worried about the team atmosphere and getting better everyday, as I should be…hope to see everyone at the home opener.

I could only imagine the reaction of Flyers beat writers if, say, Claude Giroux had decided to clarify a quote through social media. Tim Panaccio might have a heart attack.

Speaking of: Panotch talking about his wife?

Voila_Capture331I always thought CB were just his wife’s initials or something. Never knew it stood for crazy bitch.

Dez Bryant is a crazy dick.

I’m gonna go ahead and say that this guy may have been deserving of a timeout:


I knew Kolten Wong was going to cost the Cardinals the game last night. When he got to first, looking all scared, I thought to myself: Literally all this guy has to do is not get out. That’s his only job in this World Series. He’s going to make a blunder. A minute later– picked off by Uherheherheheha. Game over. I wish I would’ve tweeted something or texted someone so there was evidence. But I’m telling you, in my head, with the effects of the Mad Elf swirling around, I knew he was going to F up.


Chiefs fan gets puked on.

H/T to (@damienromaine), (@jerseygino), (@redschmidt27)

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13 Responses

  1. I have had friends that got locked up/kicked out of Eagles games for getting into it with “fans” in the opposing team’s gear. Some cases the opposing “fan” started it, only to find out that the “fan” was an undercover cop. Entrapment?

    1. Ah, the entrapment defense, that misunderstood refuge of those simply upset that they got caught redhanded. Now it’s time for some reality.

      From 18 Pa. C.S. § 313 of the Pennsylvania Crimes Code:

      § 313. Entrapment.
      (a) General rule.–A public law enforcement official … perpetrates
      an entrapment if for the purpose of obtaining evidence of the
      commission of an offense, he induces or encourages another
      person to engage in conduct constituting such offense by either:
      (1) making knowingly false representations designed to
      induce the belief that such conduct is not prohibited; or
      (2) employing methods of persuasion or inducement which
      create a substantial risk that such an offense will be
      committed by persons other than those who are ready to commit

      Based on your stories, subsection (1) would not apply since merely being an undercover officer posing as an opposing team’s fan does not induce a belief in your meathead friends that taunting, threatening, or fighting them is somehow justified – it only induces the belief that the undercover is a Cowboys/Giants/Redskins fans. In other words, your friends were not induced to “get into it.”

      That brings us to subsection (2), which again would not apply to your meathead friends since it requires evidence that the offense would be “committed by persons other than those who are ready to commit it.” Basically, your friends are the type of idiot fans who are predisposed to taunting, threatening, and fighting people who root for other teams, or at the very least predisposed to respond and “get into it,” even when they cry that the other guy started it.

      1. I never said it was entrapment, I was merely wondering if it was. Thanks for your copy and paste from Wikipedia and your “meathead” reference more than once. You definitely lost your last girlfriend (boyfriend?) to a guy that was bigger than you.

  2. I’m a huge eagles fan but I won a shitload of $& on the giants yesterday. Hope they lose out & get the flying Hawaiian Marcus mariota

    Not going to lie, it was a good feeling winning that $

  3. Wonder what size Nicki minaj breasts are? Definitely a DD. Would love to smother my face in that.

  4. Know some dudes who were thrown in the time out basement for saying Dallas sucks to a Dallas “fan” aka cop last week. Nothing more. It’s really screwed up down there and we suck to boot. Hey Kyle, get to investigating!

  5. Your Monday Morning Whine Fest. Waaaahhhhhhh!!!!

    @FlyerRob, how about all those idiots still wasting $$ for Flyers tix?? 6 points? Thank God over half the league makes the playoffs.

  6. The linc has become such a pussy stadium. It all starts with that liberal owner lurie. He waste money on those gay ass wind turbines and solar panels that don’t do shit except make us look like a bunch of fucking tree huggers. Globle warming is made up shit and he has to stuff it down our throats. How about you buy a team that will fucking win a game at home. Also this pink bullshit needs to go. Why the fuck do grown ass men need to wear pink. Football is suppose to be like war , you don’t see our troops wearing pink camo during the month of oct. All this shit is turning men soft and making our fans a bunch of pussies. Fuck everyone I’m tired of this shit

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