DeSean’s Jackson’s New Ride Will Have Two iPads, a Computer and Two Video Screens… in the Backseat

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Now accepting dates for the DeSean Jackson Broke Pool. I have 322 days after he’s released from an NFL team (obviously, several years from now).

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These cars are different. Not sure if one is his and the other is a sample, or if both are examples of what his will look like when it’s done. Either way, for my own sanity, I will just assume that a millionaire athlete-rap mogul won’t roll off with a pimped out ride in 2013 with iPad ones that can’t even be updated to IOS 7. That’s amateur hour right there.

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22 Comments

  • Average White Guy November 8, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Can someone translate, “We out chea’ boss” to English for me? I don’t speak jive.

    Reply
    • Alex November 8, 2013 at 10:32 am

      Yeah… seriously, can we have a translation on that. I have no clue what that can mean

      Reply
      • Minor in Ebonics from Rosehill and Allegheny University November 8, 2013 at 11:33 am

        “Just bought a new car, which I happen to be super excited about! In turn, this boosts my social stature amongst my teammates and the general public; it also demonstrates why I am better than everyone else.”

        —I’ll take the over, Kyle. I think he’ll be able to survive at least a year by doing commercials for Gary Barbera or some other hack at the auto mall.

        Reply
        • Average White Guy November 8, 2013 at 12:19 pm

          ^^^That was great….haha.

          Reply
  • Jeff C. November 8, 2013 at 10:34 am

    Brazzers for days

    Reply
  • Little Mermaid Blu (e{?]) Ray November 8, 2013 at 10:36 am

    I don’t know who is making worse decisions, DeSean or the CB Graphic Arts Department.

    Reply
    • Deezy November 8, 2013 at 11:16 am

      After seeing the new banner that looks like it was thrown together by Kyle in 2 minutes from clip art that is included in Word 97, now I REALLY can’t wait to see the CB mobile app that he thinks people are going to pay money for.

      Reply
  • Paul November 8, 2013 at 10:40 am

    Why does desean want an office in his car?

    Reply
  • Coatesy's Purple Nose November 8, 2013 at 10:43 am

    Typical

    Reply
  • Slammin Gretzky's Daughter November 8, 2013 at 10:46 am

    I give it about a week until he gets into a horrible accident because one of his boys is watching a porno in the backseat and he turns to get a glimpse.

    Reply
  • Isaac- solider in the GnA Falcons November 8, 2013 at 10:53 am

    Animal will be broke in 10 years

    Reply
    • willy November 9, 2013 at 12:30 pm

      10?

      Reply
  • JT November 8, 2013 at 11:00 am

    anyone think Mike Miss will talk about bullying todaY?????

    Reply
  • lini November 8, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Na, its a Football Friday … if he does, I’ll be forced to shoot myself, or worst, listen to Marks and Brace.

    Reply
    • Mike Missanelli's Ass Wiper (Sean Brace) November 8, 2013 at 12:12 pm

      That’s Awesome!

      Reply
  • yup November 8, 2013 at 11:07 am

    he…doesn’t know how to save his money

    Reply
  • haters November 8, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Don’t be hatin homies.
    Brutha need to pimp out everything
    and the entourage need to be ridin along
    bleed that brutha dry
    time to drop 25 large at a LA bar and tweet the receipts
    livin large mutha-fucka

    Reply
  • Dumb Motherfucker November 8, 2013 at 11:45 am

    DeSean Jackson’s media wordcloud for 2025 is going to contain a lot of broke, debt, evasion, failure, attorney, former, and couches.

    Reply
  • Eric November 8, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Wish I could say I’m shocked. This is coming from the dumbass who pissed away 50k at ‘DA CLUB and bragged about it.
    And in 10 years when no one even knows who he was & he’s sucking dick for crack in some alley, I hope he looks back and says ‘hmm. Maybe I should’ve saved some of that money instead of acting like I’m hot shit’
    Fame and money doesn’t last forever.
    Dipshits like him will learn that the hard way.
    Just ask Terrell Owens. He got cut from an arena football team!

    Reply
  • mjk5200 November 8, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    And not long after that……. http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Repo-Man.jpg

    Reply
  • Drew S November 8, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    D-Jax spending money like there is no tomorrow. I assure you, tomorrow is coming and probably a lot sooner than you think.

    Reply
  • Idiot November 9, 2013 at 8:52 am

    Kyle’s Blog’s make me sad. he’ll never be credible.

    Reply
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