DeSean’s Jackson’s New Ride Will Have Two iPads, a Computer and Two Video Screens… in the Backseat

Voila_Capture490 Voila_Capture492Now accepting dates for the DeSean Jackson Broke Pool. I have 322 days after he’s released from an NFL team (obviously, several years from now).

Voila_Capture488 Voila_Capture489

These cars are different. Not sure if one is his and the other is a sample, or if both are examples of what his will look like when it’s done. Either way, for my own sanity, I will just assume that a millionaire athlete-rap mogul won’t roll off with a pimped out ride in 2013 with iPad ones that can’t even be updated to IOS 7. That’s amateur hour right there.

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22 Responses

  1. Can someone translate, “We out chea’ boss” to English for me? I don’t speak jive.

      1. “Just bought a new car, which I happen to be super excited about! In turn, this boosts my social stature amongst my teammates and the general public; it also demonstrates why I am better than everyone else.”

        —I’ll take the over, Kyle. I think he’ll be able to survive at least a year by doing commercials for Gary Barbera or some other hack at the auto mall.

  2. I don’t know who is making worse decisions, DeSean or the CB Graphic Arts Department.

    1. After seeing the new banner that looks like it was thrown together by Kyle in 2 minutes from clip art that is included in Word 97, now I REALLY can’t wait to see the CB mobile app that he thinks people are going to pay money for.

  3. I give it about a week until he gets into a horrible accident because one of his boys is watching a porno in the backseat and he turns to get a glimpse.

  4. Na, its a Football Friday … if he does, I’ll be forced to shoot myself, or worst, listen to Marks and Brace.

  5. Don’t be hatin homies.
    Brutha need to pimp out everything
    and the entourage need to be ridin along
    bleed that brutha dry
    time to drop 25 large at a LA bar and tweet the receipts
    livin large mutha-fucka

  6. DeSean Jackson’s media wordcloud for 2025 is going to contain a lot of broke, debt, evasion, failure, attorney, former, and couches.

  7. Wish I could say I’m shocked. This is coming from the dumbass who pissed away 50k at ‘DA CLUB and bragged about it.
    And in 10 years when no one even knows who he was & he’s sucking dick for crack in some alley, I hope he looks back and says ‘hmm. Maybe I should’ve saved some of that money instead of acting like I’m hot shit’
    Fame and money doesn’t last forever.
    Dipshits like him will learn that the hard way.
    Just ask Terrell Owens. He got cut from an arena football team!

  8. D-Jax spending money like there is no tomorrow. I assure you, tomorrow is coming and probably a lot sooner than you think.

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