Photo: Aramark

Consider this a public service announcement: On Tuesday, Lorenzo & Sons Pizza made its debut at the Wells Fargo Center. You can now get yourself a slice of one of the big pieces behind sections 102, 114, 207 and 220.

Now, before you salivate all over yourself upon learning that there’s a reasonable alternative to rubber chicken fingers, know that Aramark has a habit of bastardizing every food stuff it touches. A once-great dish, when filtered through the Aramark sifter, often turns out to be a hardened, indigestible shell of its former self which can potentially kill you if a glass of drinking water or turpentine isn’t nearby. You need to look no further than the Chickie’s and Pete’s chicken sandwiches, which are decent in the restaurant, but god awful when Aramark folks oversee their preparation (the Crab Fries remain breathtaking, however). Aramark employees generally hate you*, too, because you want a sandwich preferably within the next seven minutes!!!

[Credit where it’s due: the most underrated dish at the Wells Fargo Center is the roast beef sandwich next to P.J. Whelihan’s. It has evolved, but that thing has been on-point since the Red Bell Brewery was there. You’re welcome.]

Anyway, I’d be interested to see if Lorzenzo’s still tastes like, well, Lorenzo’s after Aramark is through with it.

*The people who work in left field at Citizens Bank Park – Schmitter, Alley Grill – are the worst of the lot. I don’t know if that’s where Aramark sends its unfireable union workers or something, but those people are borderline prison inmates who actively test the boundaries of employment and simple assault. “You want a sandwich? Here, I picked my nose, scratched my ass, talked to a coworker for four minutes, and then wrapper it with my bare hands. Now leave me alone!”