Eat It, Flakes

Voila_Capture889Yesterday was a good day. The two men who haunted the Wells Fargo Center for the past year or two got what was coming to them, both in somewhat hilarious and karmatic fashion.


Ilya Bryzgalov

Two things:

1) Why does the ice in Edmonton look like the ice at a local rink whose Zamboni broke down? Making it worse was the game being broadcast (broad is debatable here) on the Comcast Network, meaning no HD and black bars on both top and bottom and sides for those of us with Verizon. It was like watching a bootleg screening of Miracle, if Miracle was about a little-used forward sticking one in the eye of space cadet goaltender.

2) Didn’t think I’d ever watch and transcribe a Bryzgalov press conference again, because the ECHL doesn’t stream that sort of thing. Guess I was wrong.

How poetic it was that it came down to a shootout, and Bryz, who couldn’t stop a breakaway or make a big save for the OB, seemingly ever, was thrust into the position of having to win his team a game.

No such luck.

4-3, good guys, with Michael Raffl (!) scoring the winning goal and Bryz displaying his trademark bad body language:


Was a late-night winner in a battle between two mediocre teams in Edmonton on a holiday weekend worth the $23 million buyout? OF COURSE IT WAS! That’s a RAFFL ticket worth picking up.

Full shootout:

Sad Bryz press conference here.


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Andrew Bynum


The Cavs suspended Andrew Bynum indefinitely yesterday for “conduct detrimental to the team.” No specific reason was given.


Cleveland has until Jan. 7 to decide if it will guarantee his contract for the rest of the season. Bynum signed a two-year, $24 million deal with the Cavs last summer, but the team-friendly contract included only $6 million in guaranteed money.

The decision to suspend Bynum was made Friday, sources said. Bynum did not travel with the team to Boston for Saturday’s game against the Celtics.

“It’s a terrible situation internally with our team,” All-Star guard Kyrie Irving said before the Cavs faced the Celtics. “It’s something we have to get over.”

It is unclear what led to Bynum’s suspension. Cavs coach Mike Brown did not disclose any details regarding the suspension but expressed concern for his players.

“I’m worried about the guys in the locker room,” Brown said prior to Saturday afternoon’s game. “It’s simple as that. In our business, there are a lot of ups and a lot of downs throughout the season.

Wow. The Andrew Bynum Effect: It’s a terrible situation internally and I’m worried about the guys in the locker room. I’m inclined to believe that he sexed someone’s, or multiple someones’, mother(s). But I could be wrong.


What does this mean? It means that Bynum, who signed a two-year, $24 million contract with the Cavs last summer, will keep only $6 million and not be paid his additional $6 million this season or the $12 million he would’ve been guaranteed next season if he remained on the roster this summer. 2013 KARMA BACKWASH FTW!


22 Responses

  1. Comcast had the game in HD, what is you speaking off Kyle no HD? Does you have that gay fios?

  2. Yes, they do. We have the worst announcing team in sports. They were actually BLAMING Edmonton’s pristine ice for the Flyers defensive giveaways. This Coatsey said something like “the ice is so smooth and perfect, the puck keeps sliding off their sticks” or something like that.

  3. I’d rather watch an entire game of low def hockey, while John Goodman sits on my lap eating pickles, then have Comcast.

    FIOS signal trumps Comcrap’s. And god help you if you need their customer service. They’d be sleepin on yer couch yo!!

    1. What he said. For 20 years Comcast has said “We’re aware we suck, but we’re working on it”. So changed their name to retarded “xfinity” yet they still suck. Much worse picture, much slower remote response, unspeakably terrible customer service. If you have Comcast it’s because you have no other choice.

      And yea if you have Verizon then Comcast only offers signal in a fuzzy little box. What asshats.

      1. It’s pretty sad that Fios trolls need to justify their terrible purchases and bash Comcast. I don’t know what they’re trying to accomplish other than trick other people to join them in the tar pit. Fios TV is THE SAME SIGNAL YOU’RE GETTING FROM ITS COUNTER PART! It’s not better, it’s the SAME. S.A.M.E.

        If you care one iota about the Flyers, don’t even bother with Fios. You don’t get TCN in HD, so when the Sixers are on CSN you’re stuck watching the Fly Guys in crappy standard def.

        On top of that the channel line-up is all over the place and is extremely inconvenient if you watch anything other than the mainstream channels. It sucks when you’re watching the birds on NBC, and then you have to go to a channel 600+ up in the number line-up to watch AMC. 4 digit channel numbers are so fucking stupid and pointless. They could easily broadcast their tiny channel line-up between 500-600, but instead they spread it out in chunks so you have to refer to the lineup sheet every time you want to see what’s on a channel.

        As far as the interface goes, I’d like to see what you’re smoking when you’re talking about slower remote response. I can’t count on all the fingers in my EXTENDED family how many times the Fios remote froze and then shot all the numbers out at once.

        If you have Comcast DVR, call up Comcast and switch to the X1 device if you really want the “Fios” experience. When I switched back, I requested the X1 and it’s great and you can record 4 shows at a time while watching a 5th show (Fios is 2 shows). Also, you know, no contract.

  4. The column documents how stupid ownership (Snider and Harris and Co.) for giving Bryzaster and Buckwheat so much money.

  5. Funny how the news reports said the Oilers were terribly outshot and Bryz stole them a point. Not the impression I got from this drivel. Amazing what Philly fans have to do to feel better about themselves.

      1. When it mattered most Bryzgalov choked? He made saves in those pond hockey, no defense, games against Pittsburgh in round one in 2012 that saved the game for the Flyers. He was a break wall in game six. He was the only Flyer to show up in games 2 – 5 of the Devils series.

        Sorry, to intrude with facts.

        1. Do you not remember the blatant giveaway by Bryz that led to the David Clarkson goal in that devils series?

          It was only a tied game 5 on home ice. He didn’t choke at all.

          Go back to blowing Bryzgalov with your herpes crusted lips, you soft asshole.

  6. I had Comcast for about 15 years and have had FIOS for the last 5. There is no question that FIOS provides a better picture – much better. Not sure why but some of my HD channels with Comcast were always fuzzy and/or subject to freezing. That never happens with FIOS.

  7. I’ve hated Comcast ever since they refused to allow satellite subscribers access to SportsNet, even though they do in other cities. I eventually switched to Verizon FiOS and I couldn’t be happier. Comcast can suck my dick. As for Bynum, I’d give a month’s pay to find out what the hell happened in Cleveland’s locker room that forced the Cavs to send him packing. Anyway, karma finally caught up to that thieving asshole. BOOYAH!!

      1. Save your money. He already has worse knees than a beaten female figure skater.

  8. Bryzgalov had 36 saves playing behind a shit team and only gave up power-play goals (one of them a 5-3) and out played Steve Mason who is rapidly returning to the mediocrity that got him exiled from Columbus. The goal post had three big saves for the Flyers in the third period and had the final shooter from Edmonton not totally missed the net (which Keith Jones somehow gave Mason credit for) that shootout would’ve gone at least another round.

    Save your laughter, Kyle.

  9. Once again Bryz is the best player on the ice for his team and once again Kyle blames the team’s loss on him.

    Way to not let facts get in the way of your lazy story, Kyle.

  10. I had Comcast for years then my Internet was constantly crashing and disconnecting. The problem was underground cable from the tap to my house. It was obviously compromised. Water damage or the strands were corroded. The installers have a tool to dig up the lawn where the cable is laid but they refused to replace it. They made excuses it was something else causing the disconnects. I had enough. FIOS came out using new cable between their tap and my home. Now no more stuttering TV picture and fast reliable high speed Internet. FIOS doesn’t want to replace a current HD channel with TCN HD. Hopefully they will eventually change their mind. FIOS is currently at max HD capacity. Only way to squeeze in more is to compromise picture quality.

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