The bow tie man himself, little baby Ken Rosenthal, is reporting that the Phillies are trying to trade Jonathan Papelbon.

This isn’t particularly surprising, but it’s not going to be easy. Papelbon is owed $26 million over the next two seasons and has a vesting option for 2016, his fastball isn’t that fast anymore, and he’s kind of a dick with a bad attitude. Other than that, he’s a great value!

If you know a guy who made large commissions selling frozen blocks of water to the indigenous people of Alaska… well, Rube could use his help right about now.