Report: The Phillies are Trying to Trade Jonathan Papelbon, His Huge Contract and Bad Attitude

GET HIM WHILE HE’S HOT!

The bow tie man himself, little baby Ken Rosenthal, is reporting that the Phillies are trying to trade Jonathan Papelbon.

This isn’t particularly surprising, but it’s not going to be easy. Papelbon is owed $26 million over the next two seasons and has a vesting option for 2016, his fastball isn’t that fast anymore, and he’s kind of a dick with a bad attitude. Other than that, he’s a great value!

If you know a guy who made large commissions selling frozen blocks of water to the indigenous people of Alaska… well, Rube could use his help right about now.

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16 Comments

  • Bob Loblaw December 6, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    If we could get a bag of balls and payment of half his salary, take it.

  • Informed mlb fan December 6, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    YES! this is what I have been waiting for. Pap for A-rod Straight up! Perfect trade for phillies to STEAL AROD

    • FACE December 6, 2013 at 5:10 pm

      Are you fucking high?

      • Informed mlb fan December 6, 2013 at 6:33 pm

        No. I am serious. I have been saying this for months!

  • Jeff December 6, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    You can try to make your farts smell good, but that doesn’t mean they will

  • Johnny Nas December 6, 2013 at 5:07 pm

    Yanks need a closer and they love to spend money on old Boston players…Pap for a bag of balls….lets go Rube

  • Rubén's Left Nut December 6, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    Trade him for Michael Martinez!

  • Reuben Amaro's Limey Pitch Man December 6, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    Come and get it! Come and get it! Two-for-one HERE! A past-it reliever with a dwindling fast ball along with an injury prone first baseman who can’t hit left handers! Come one, come all. We’ll take yer flotsam, ye!

    One time only. The first 100 callers we’ll throw in a second baseman with bum knees.

  • Troll Hamels December 6, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Yet another reason to fire Amaro. Not because he is trying to trade Papelbon, but because we all know he wont able to do it with that absurd fucking contract.

    Way to go Rube. Overpay a closer who is declining, then, when you go to unload him, because, you know, he is overpaid and declining, you can’t because, well, he is overpaid and fucking declining.

    Asshat.

  • Informed mlb fan December 6, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    I will go on record as saying the Phillies should have went all in on Cano. Up the offer to 10/260, done. Worry later about where to play him.

  • booey December 6, 2013 at 10:33 pm

    Kind of a dick ?

  • Rube Schmoob December 7, 2013 at 1:40 am

    I hated this signing…I hated the Polanco signing (I wanted Beltre’)…I basically hated every Rube signing except Lee when they were the mystery team. Rube has sunk this team/franchise. It was fun while it lasted…Fucking asshole idiot…

  • Andy Schreiber December 7, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    You just know that Ryne Sandberg told Amaro that he wants cinco ocho to be gonzo.

    Can’t imagine Sandberg putting up with a guy like that in his locker room.

  • Maxie December 7, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    This was a bad signing from the start. The salary was freaking ridiculous and Boston didn’t want him anymore. Most teams don’t part so easily with a solid closer, should have been The Booben’s first clue. I am so depressed over the upcoming baseball season. It reminds me of the first season Mets – a bunch of old has beens. Get a 36 year old backup catcher for our 35 year old starting catcher!

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