Reports: The Phillies are Taking Offers on Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels, Dom Brown and Jonathan Papelbon, But Unfortunately Not Ruben Amaro

I don't know what I'm doing!

I don’t know what I’m doing!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, RUBE? STEP AWAY FROM THE TEAM! THAT’S IT. JUST LIKE THAT. PUT IT DOWN, DON’T HURT CHOOCH(!), AND PLACE YOUR HANDS AND YOUR SWINGING DICK IN THE AIR, WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM. GOOOOD, GOOOOD. JUST LIKE THAT. NOW WALK TOWARDS ME. CALMLY. I SAID CALMLY, DAMMIT!!!!

Lots of reports coming out of the Winter Meetings today. This is the gist of them:

Buster Olney is reporting that the Phillies have told other teams they are willing to discuss trading Cliff Lee and Cole Hamels.

Jon Heyman confirms that report.

Peter Gammons says the Phils would attach Dom Brown to a trade if someone takes Papelbon, and they would use the saved money for a starter.

Matt Gelb reports that the Phils will not eat any money.

This makes… no sense. By signing admitted PED user Marlon Byrd and re-signing Carlos Ruiz, the Phillies are obviously still in win-now mode. But then why, IN THE SAM HILL FUCK, would they be exploring trades for Hamels, Lee and Brown? They have to be screwing with reporters. Rube is feeding them shit, so they all go right when he goes left and trades for Giancarlo Stanton. That’s the only thing I can think. Because the one report – that they would use the money saved from trading Papelbon (packaged with Brown, mind you) to sign a starting pitcher – doesn’t jive with the other– that they are willing to trade Hamels and Lee. It makes no sense. Their biggest need isn’t even starting pitching. It’s people that can hit baseballs. They don’t have many of those.

Here’s what Olney wrote in an Insider article:

The Phillies have been veering toward a financial crunch for the past couple of seasons, given the whopping obligations to Ryan Howard — who is owed $85 million over the next three years — and Jimmy Rollins and others.

But it’s hard to find a consistent strain of thought in what the Phillies are doing. On one hand, Philadelphia spent big onCarlos Ruiz earlier this offseason, giving him a three-year, $26 million contract, and signed Marlon Byrd to a two-year, $16 million deal. Those moves suggested Philadelphia is still looking to win in 2014 and 2015.

In recent days, however, they have told other teams they’d be ready to move either of their two best starting pitchers, as well as closer Jonathan Papelbon.

You’re wrong, Buster. There is no financial crunch. The Phillies are about to get roughly $170 million more – per season – from TV contracts. If not now, then soon. Their only “crunch” is staying under the luxury tax threshold ($189 million).

I’m at a loss. I have no idea what’s going on. Neither does Rube. It’s like he has rabies. He’s just stringing together movements and actions with no logical progression. Old guy, old guy again!, trade young guy, trade our best player!, money, lie to someone, shush a reporter, lie to a reporter, spend money, save money, lick my ass, lick his ass, Happy Hanukkah.

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEAM, SIR!

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33 Comments

  • Fire Brace December 10, 2013 at 10:58 am

    97.5 should put macnow in brace & marks time slot.

    • Dirk Anger December 10, 2013 at 11:07 am

      I would celebrate from now till 2014 if that happened. Maybe I’d even start listening to 97.5 again.

  • Gizmo Williams December 10, 2013 at 11:00 am

    Ryan Howard – who is owed $85 just made me sick

  • Doug December 10, 2013 at 11:00 am

    I wish Macnow were on today to comment on this…

  • Clark Griswold December 10, 2013 at 11:01 am

    “kiss my ass, kiss his ass, Happy Hanukkah”

    • Kyle Scott December 10, 2013 at 11:03 am

      When you have rabies, it’s licking.

  • Massimo December 10, 2013 at 11:03 am

    Reunite Mac and Mac on 97.5 The Fanatic!

  • Bill December 10, 2013 at 11:04 am

    I just emailed a over night sports talk radio host saying that I was thinking that maybe the owners are getting ready to sell the team. They sure look like a franchise that wants to return to the days when the Phillies a bunch of recognizable names with Once Upon A Time Talent,They were so old and void any ability they needed an escort to run down to first base. I knew and I suppose we all did that the owners weren’t going to keep a competitive team on the field. I do think he Howard contract was a bad move financially .

  • Where has Candy Oak been? December 10, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Mac & mac would be awesome right after bruno & mayes. Great idea massimo

  • Chris December 10, 2013 at 11:06 am

    How come when Ruben tries to trade Lee and Hamels it means he has to be working a deal for Stanton, but when Holmgren tries to trade Richards and Carter it’s pitchforks and brimstone?

  • Uncle Eddie December 10, 2013 at 11:08 am

    You serious, Clark?

  • Catch a damned pass December 10, 2013 at 11:09 am

    Where is that Candy ass

  • Carmen Sandiego December 10, 2013 at 11:11 am

    HEY KYLE

    Working from home today? I had to drive in on 76, not too bad, but all the side roads are poopookaka. Anyways, enjoy your day.

    -Carmen

    P.S. I know a guy who works at Springfield Country Club (not private) and he said he would be happy to host the CB golf outting in the Spring. Balls in your court now.

  • Catch a damned pass December 10, 2013 at 11:11 am

    I’m all about trading that POS UPS mofo…he shits on Philly fans and had a fluke month.

  • Paul December 10, 2013 at 11:12 am

    I agree that signing Ruiz and Byrd was dumb if they are just gonna blow up the team but honestly they should clear salary. Lee, Brown, and Hamels are the only people on this team with real value to other teams and could possibly net some really good prospects if it’s done right. I know prospects are risky but all the good teams in the MLB right now except the Yankees and Red Sox are built via the farm system the same way we were when we were at our peak. It’s time to rebuild and follow the Sixers lead and try to build around some young players.

  • Dirk Anger December 10, 2013 at 11:14 am

    Trying to trade the ace of your pitching staff, second starter, & one of the few young players you have that can at least have some sporadic offensive ability, while signing over the hill players & defiantly saying that this team is not rebuilding & has a win no mentality……………
    The guy is either borderline retarded or…………..nope. That’s it.

  • Make some Free Candy Ugly Xmas Sweaters December 10, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Is Candy banned again? haven’t noticed any posts from him in a while. would love to hear his take on 97.5 & wip lol

  • Dirk Anger December 10, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Win now mentality

    • The Alive Martin Twin December 10, 2013 at 11:21 am

      How raj & Sean Brace still have jobs boggles my mind

  • Catch a damned pass December 10, 2013 at 11:18 am

    Also Hamels might be a fluke too, sell sell sell, it doesn’t matter how bad the team is when most of the season takes place during drunkfest aka summer.

  • Fast Eddie December 10, 2013 at 11:20 am

    We don’t have a culture problem!!! Now bend over and give me money for Santa Sacks!!!

  • Tacony Rick December 10, 2013 at 11:21 am

    That looks like a nice trade package for Mike Trout…

  • MK December 10, 2013 at 11:28 am

    You guys are being awfully hard on Ruben, don’t you think?

    The way I see it, he’s a trailblazer. We’re just not used to the “Win five years ago” mentality he uses. I think this new style is really going to catch on.

    • Bill August 20, 2014 at 10:17 am

      Have you recently suffered blunt force trauma to the head ?

  • Captain Jack December 10, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Where is Candy from the Oak? I’m starting to get concerned. Banned again?????? FREE CANDY

    • 3 Finger Lenny December 10, 2013 at 11:48 am

      I just checked his twitter, he hasn’t been active on there too

  • Miss Neha December 11, 2013 at 2:41 am

    I get it there are many memories of women who needed for good reason an abortion and was reduced to horrible means. I had to go with a girlfriend once – her partner deserted her and refused to help with money. And he was a rich dude.

  • Ritika Rai August 20, 2014 at 8:41 am

    memories of women who needed for good reason an abortion and was reduced to horrible means.

  • Monika Rawat August 20, 2014 at 8:43 am

    I wish Macnow were on today to comment on this…

  • Kamya Gupta August 20, 2014 at 8:44 am

    I just emailed a over night sports talk radio host saying that I was thinking that maybe the owners are getting ready to sell the team. They sure look like a franchise that wants to return

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