The Worst Blogger in Philly

Photo: Facebook
Photo: Facebook

It’s Sarah Lockard, food blogger for, which I’m not going to link to because I’m not sending the greedy thang my page views because she’s giving us all a bad name… and that’s something I can accomplish just fine on my own, thank you very much.

Earlier this week – as ably and dutifully chronicled by Philly Mag and, who can receive my clickitals – Lockard sent the following email to local restaurants so she could get some free shit on Christmas Eve:

From: Sarah Lockard <>
Date: December 9, 2013 at 9:17:32 PM EST
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: Host the Awesome Lockards on Christmas Eve!

Good Evening!!!

Every Christmas Eve my family enjoys an amazing night dining out and this year I am offering you the exciting opportunity to be our restaurant that hosts us!

The host restaurant will receive approximately $1,000 in PR with AML:

1) 2 Facebook posts on AML’s Facebook page promoting the respective restaurant as the restaurant of choice for AML’s family for Christmas Eve

2) 5 instagram photos during the dining experience

3) 2 AML enewsletter ads in Jan and Feb 2014 (reaches over 3,000 unique individuals)

4) listed in our Christmas Eve dining guide published Dec 10th, 2013 on AML.

We are asking for the following in turn:

Dinner for 5 drinks and food compensated, we will tip according to the value to the server.

This is a VERY innovative and effective way to promote your restaurant on this very competitive evening and reach tens of thousands of local foodies through AML’s channels.

Please note this is first come, first serve.

I am excited to hear from you!

Be THE top restaurant we recommend this Christmas Eve to our HUGE audience!!!!

Your friend,

Sarah Lockard
Your Online Magazine Covering the Main Line and Western Suburbs

Providing Online Advertising, Marketing, Events, Social Media Consulting and More!

Email: [redacted] Cell: [redacted] Facebook:

Organizer of Main Line Restaurant Week

Cliff notes: She wants a restaurant to comp a dinner for her and her family on Christmas Eve and, in return, she’ll give them all sorts of free advertising and exposure.

First of all: There’s nothing wrong with an advertising swap. The meal has a monetary value and so do the ads. That’s fine. But offering to Facebook post and instantly gram positive things about the restaurant without making it known that, yeah, I’m whoring myself out, is where she went wrong here.

This happens more often than you’d think, though. There’s an entire subset of people – socialites – in Philly whose images are constructed atop disingenuous PR stunts and photo ops. I get invited and solicited for a lot of that shit and generally ignore it because A) I’m lazy and B) I’d rather stick an icicle in my eye than spend every weeknight at some fundraiser slash publicity stunt just so my picture turns up in a magazine. But even those people are, simultaneously, more discrete about soliciting those things and more transparent to followers about them being sponsored events and products. Sexting restaurants for a freebie swap is pretty much the worst way to go about it.

Second: But even if you still want to go that route, there’s a much more subtle way to do this, Sarah. Watch: Boy, I’d really like to take Ms. CB out for a holiday dinner at a high-end steak joint in the city, but I’m just not sure it’s worth it what with the economy and all. I’d love to tell you how great my porterhouse from, say, the Capital Grille was, but it just doesn’t seem worth the investment. Oh well. 


Or, you know, just have GM loan you a free, spectacular – did I mention spectacular! – Cadillac for no apparent reason:


Anyway, that’s how it’s done. Just exist, Sarah. Mention a few things in passing, and you’d be surprised what happens. No need to spread your legs to the highest bidder that you solicited with one of the dumbest emails ever written by a human whose annoying existence is basically having credible opinions on places and products.

But hey, it was a just a mistake. Poor judgement. I get it. It happens. It’s not like you’re a bitch or anything…

Since-deleted Facebook post obtained by

… ohhhh. Well now this is awkward.

I read this three times just to be sure that I was interpreting it correctly – that Lockard threatened to charge businesses (and individuals?) $75 just for occupying a small slice of her inbox – and, yep, she did.

You’re not a good person, Ms. Lockard. And now all this misplaced anger toward you has me hungry. Boy, I could really go for a Dinic’s Roast Pork sandwich sometime soon.

H/T to Hall of Fame CB Reader (@PhillyPartTwo)


110 Responses

    1. She really is a cunt. I just called her on the number in the email, hoping she could talk me off, since she was charging $75. She hung up before I was even close to busting.

  1. I would be delighted to entertain Ms. Lockard and her family to the dumpster located just outside the Reading Terminal. I will provide outdoor seating (Home Depot Buckets turned upside down) and a full 5 course meal (Menu undecided but I’m sure we’ll find something). Entertainment provided by my buddy, Bill, who will play the skin flute. Drinks will be made available from a trash container I swiped from the Linc.

      1. Pitchers Pub tonight… If you’re looking for a spot to watch the game, come thru! Big fantasy football night tonight, bring it to Pitchers Pub in Manayunk

  2. I fail to see where she offers the “positive” publicity. By putting a post on Facebook or adding Instagram photos, she is not necessarily giving it a positive endorsement. Suppose I posted the following on Facebook:

    “How lame is it that Crossing Broad is reposting a story that ran on the Fox Morning Show last week?”

    Then followed it up with:

    “Ugh! Not only is Crossing Broad running a stale story but the editor is completely taking it out of context to make a misguided point.”

    Those would qualify as the posts but wouldn’t necessarily be seen as positive. Just my opinion.

    1. don’t be mad at kyle because he outed your mom and her extortion ways of doing business. still, i’m sure friendly’s might take you up on the offer!

  3. Really?

    “Be THE top restaurant we recommend this Christmas Eve to our HUGE audience!!!!”

    1. I completely missed that. Damn it!

      Now excuse me while I go add my stupid face to woofmaker for the remainder of the day.

  4. Ohhhhhhh, this jitbags comment sections are going to blow up worse than the big black penis in her asshole.

  5. “I’d rather stick an icicle in my eye than spend every weeknight at some fundraiser slash publicity stunt just so my picture turns up in a magazine.”

    This explain that attention whore Marisa Magnatta from WMMR to a T!

    1. Marissa is the biggest pain in the ass, and her voice is like nails on a damn chalkboard. Can’t stand her.

  6. Wow! This is insane! Great stuff, Kyle! I don’t even get (or ask for) a free beer at CBP for promoting (and locating) all their great craft beers on my blog every year. Enjoy the karma, Sarah Lockard!

  7. Shes a fucking asshole. I’m a hate monger but she’s just a straight up selfish cunt looking to help a homeless guy and then immediately receive praise for helping. bitch.

  8. Why the fuck do women cut their hair that short? It’s like some of them like to actively try to be uglier…

    1. Agree 100%. Short hair on women screams one of three things –

      “I’m trendy”, “I’m a lesbian” or “I’ve given up”

      In her case, I think she’s hit the trifecta.

    2. So that, when no man gives this skank the time of day, she can always blame the haircut.

  9. This bitch is supposed to be critical of restaurant service and quality of food, she then comes out and basically says she’ll give you a great review if you feed her and her family free besides tip? I hope one of the greasy employees working in the back hacks a huge lungy into her food. Not her kids or hubbys food, just hers.

    1. I don’t know what’s scarier, the fact that someone married her or the fact that they procreated…fucking awful visual.


    1. This comment wins the article and by one minute. Great observation. Lenny takes 2nd. And is immediately disqualified thereafter for having three fingers.

  10. Kyle, any chance you can send this type of email to a local golf course to host the outing … Can see Kacie looking like this in a couple years

  11. Do yourselves a favor and read the comments section on the PhillyMag article– an idiot gets SERIOUSLY trolled hard by a guy with the username “Father Kelly.” It’s embarrassing and hysterical at the same time.

    And, oh yeah… this woman is the worst at life, not just blogging.

  12. Kyle, any way to boot that faux candy from the site? Will buy you a starbucks frap since that what you seem to like

  13. Id like to stuff mikey miss daughter. I bet shes clean shavin or maybe a tuft of hair above that pretty pink honeypot.

  14. I guess since this twat is looking for a free dinner on Christmas Eve for her entire family it’s safe to assume she’s of the Hebrew persuasion. This is why stereotypes exist. Because they’re true.

  15. Are you the second worst? Attacking someone personally to make yourself look like a better blogger but really just used someone else’s weak blog to fill space. Most honorable professions do not call each other out but rather try to set the standard. Not saying what she did was right but I am sure she is not alone. Also, she is not a critic so there is no expectation that she would be critical of a restaurant – and am looking forward to the posts where the agnes irwin grads get all mad that she is trying to pretend she is really main line but isnt because she wasn’t wealthy enough by their standards

    1. this is a city-wide story/top story on PhillyMag. people just like to laugh about her whoring herself out for free food and Kyle is wisely using it to gain pageviews by launching hilarious comment sections.

      pretty sure KScott doesn’t charge you to ask him questions on twitter. what a whore.

  16. I’m sincerely glad you stopped hypocritically bitching about the flyers beat writers and focused on someone who is actually a terrible person.

    Also, noticed you blogging on weekends now. It’s nice.

  17. Come ye children of God. Help me find my soul mate, Christine. She is playing hard to get and is hurting the heart of God’s child.

  18. Hey. At least she didn’t refer to someone who mugged her 30 years ago as the n-word. Then she’d TOTALLY be persona non grata.

  19. Now he needs to up the ante: cockroach on the rat, bee on the cockroach, the dog on a bear, bear on an elephant, THE ELEPHANT SURFING ON A MOTHERFUCKING WHALE!

  20. So why during the Flyers broadcast do they have this “preserve the earth” campaign and then they show africans, as if africa is a reason to save the planet from destruction?

  21. I followed her for a while….her workout pics were even more annoying than her five second cheerleading for restaurants. Like I care. Thanks for not whoring yourself out…proud of you

  22. WOOW! That’s AWESOME!!! What a piece of crap… If anyone knows about whoring them self out it’s me! She makes me wanna run her over with my new Jeep Cherokee when I’m on my way to pick up a PRIMOOO HOAGIE.. Wit little Ant and mossimo!

  23. I wonder if she wants to answer a general knowledge question.. Maybe spin the Mike Missanelli holiday wheel! There’s plenty of free shit on there. On a side note does anybody wanna hear my Rliey Cooper white out joke again?!

    1. copy and paste an article from CSN Philly about the flyers losing 7-2 and then write an uplifting peace about the Phillies newest free agent signing who is a lot worse at pitching than Kyle Kendrick.

    2. Yo Art, go to espn dot com or philly . Com sports section. Plenty of sports sites out there, pussy

  24. and people complain about your little bit of ads..
    now Sarah is a whore..

    very good choice to post about her so people can see what being greedy truly is.

    great blog.

  25. @ Art Vandelay
    stfu.. why you complaining?

    all you have to do is stop clicking…

    fucking idiot.

    1. I’d be hesitant to go to her facebook page. Might pick up a viris – in her case, crabs.

  26. She looks like she has terrible breath. There is also a high probability that her nether-regions are also rather odious. As such, From this point forward, I will dub her “FartBreath Stinksnatch”. Attention area restaurants: Do not provide a free meal to FartBreath Stinksnatch.

  27. Guys, I’m still accepting deposits for the Vikings game trip this weekend! #winningways,#Tix4Kids

  28. Somehow I am not shocked. I’ve been seeing this kind of “marketing”, or as I call it – It’s not who do you know, but who do you blow. Main Line professionals act like very expensive whores, only few can afford them, but once you used “them” – you are “in”! Your face is recognizable, welcomed, your are forgiven for tactless behavior, absence of pedigree, etc. This woman is rude, ill bred, and ill mannered, but she got her 15 mins fame, thanks to all of us. Will she get any business on Main Line? Probably yes. Why? Someone desperate will buy her, give what she wants, get some PR in return, and that person/business will repeat this vicious cycle, making it acceptable and normal. It is almost normal now…don’t we buy an overpriced ugly poofy prom dress from a friend’s boutique, so she will recommend my SAT tutoring to every client that walks into her shop? Don’t we buy a BMW from a “respectable” dealership, knowing in advance that their service people will crucify you when you come back with an issue? But we will be invited to their annual party where you can advertise your services left and right. We did. We do now. We will. We are supposed to get known for the best qualities we possess, not who will make us liked and desirable. Let’s kick “sarahs” and all of the wannabes to the curb, give an honest opinion about the services you’d received, give references to people who deserve it, not ‘cus he/she is your daughter’s boyfriend’s parents restaurant, and I think we can make it impossible for imposters like Sarah make a living. Happy prosperous New Year to all of you!

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