Your Monday Morning Roundup: Mega-Stuffed, Fat and Slightly Bloated Post-Holiday Edition

That video really ruined the season...

That video really ruined the season…

The Eagles are going to the NFC Championship. They are showing all the signs of being a team that is finally gelling at the right moment and playing their best football in the second half of the season and will be totally underrated come January (see also: Giants, 2011, and Packers, 2010). Their offense has been a top 5 offense all season long. They have the best running back in the NFL. Their quarterback is breaking strange records left and right. And now, the defense is both playing well and getting turnovers. The Eagles are going to finish 10-6 and win two playoff games.

Sure, there are still some signs that they’re not a great team – as repeatedly pointed out and harped on by Ray Didinger on Postgame Live – such as their inability to close out a game without inducing a heart attack, Chip Kelly’s ballsy yet perplexing play-call selections during crucial plays, and the fact that Nick Foles has been the beneficiary of quite a bit of luck (from deflected and caught passes, to penalties negating interceptions). But, the positives far outweigh the negatives. They might not be as well-polished as the Saints or Seahawks, but they’re good enough to beat either of those teams and then lose to the other during consecutive playoff games.

And Foles: He didn’t play that well yesterday. He missed several wide open receivers, made a few terrible decisions, and nearly got himself killed by holding on to the ball too long and trying to get extra yards when he should’ve slid… and he still finished with a 112 QB rating. That’s the sign of a good player– you still have success when you’re off.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

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CB Store. If you missed it over the weekend (because who’s the idiot that made a site announcement at 4 p.m. on the day before a holiday weekend?!), we launched the Crossing Broad Store with four brand new original designs: Geezus, Big Balls Chip, 10 Mode, and Big Shot. And because it’s Cyber Monday, save $10 and get two for $40 TODAY ONLY.

All t-shirts at the Crossing Broad Store are printed on unisex pre-shrunk high-quality ringspun cotton-poly blend material. Breathe. It’s soft enough for a man and pH-balanced for a woman. All transactions are 100% secure.

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The Crossing Broad Store and its backend is hosted and maintained by the e-commerce veterans at Gravy Keg, who will fulfill all orders and handle customer service requests. But, of course, if you have any questions, issues, problems, suggestions, t-shirt ideas, etc., don’t hesitate to let me know. And it goes without saying that you are encouraged to send pictures wearing your brand new CB t-shirt(s)!

Those of you who follow me on Instagram got a sneak peek at the new designs early last week. I’ll be doing the same for all future releases and posting exclusive discount codes, only on Instagram. So, follow me. And shop now.

Foles and Tha Pot. Meet DeSean Jackson and Nick Foles at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall. Foles, on December 3 from 7 – 9 p.m. And Jackson on December 10 from 7- 8 p.m. Details and tickets here.

Cyber Monday sale. If you don’t buy one of our t-shirts, then you can of course shop with our friends at Philly Phaithful, who are holding their Cyber Monday sale today– three t-shirts for $50.

Give the gift that… lasts for roughly three hours. Great great great great deals on tickets at Crossing Broad Tickets. With the help of TiqIQ, we combine all the best available seats and deals on the secondary market into one easily browsable and shopable app to save you time and money. Go ahead, snoop around.

 

The roundup:

A man was killed in the parking lot outside Arrowhead Stadium.

From CNN:

Police are investigating the death of a man Sunday at the Kansas City Chiefs’ Arrowhead Stadium after he got into a struggle with another person.

The incident occurred in a parking lot at the stadium while the Chiefs played the Denver Broncos just inside the venue, Kansas City, Missouri, police spokesman Tye Grant said.

The altercation began when someone left the game and found the man, who later died at an area hospital, inside their car. The man may have owned a similar car, Grant said.

Yeah… but we once threw snowballs at Santa.

Police say the incident had nothing to do with fan rivalry and it appears to just be a case of someone being at the wrong place in the wrong time… so we’ll refrain from any more references about rowdy sports fans and cities.

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Our friends at Phans of Philly, who led a trip to Nashville to see Steve Mason beat the Predators this weekend, were at a bar last night with the Vancouver Canucks, who play the Preds on Tuesday. This is their, likely drunken, late-night Twitter report:

I’m gonna try to get more information (and pictures?) on this today.

Ryan Howard’s castle is coming along nicely.

The state details its case against ex-PSU president and certifiable spook, Graham Spanier.

Marcus Vick has given you whiplash:

The Phillies wished you a happy Thanksgivingamaukkah with another slightly creepy Photoshop:

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Not as bad as the Mets, though.

But maybe as pathetic as this:

pic via (@theREALbillymac)

pic via (@theREALbillymac)

I keep reading that as Titizens Bank Park. Which would be an awesome name, by the way.

In case you missed it, Villanova beat number two Kansas and then celebrated in a conference room in the Battle for Atlantis:

They went on win the tournament, beating Iowa in overtime on Saturday. They’re going to become a top 18 team today.

The Capitals had to use their video coach as backup goalie.

Philly native and Malvern Prep grad David Boreanaz loves the Flyers oh so much:

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Rob Burgundy anchored a newscast in North Dakota this weekend.

The PSU locker room after they beat Wisconsin.

I have so many problems with this Wells Fargo commercial:

Here’s how Wells Fargo describes it on their YouTube page:

A young college student gets her first pay check and is thrilled to show her family. Following mom’s advice to deposit the check right away, she uses Mobile Deposit on her smartphone. In a unexpected twist, her grandmother mistakenly thinks she is simply taking a picture of the check and asks for a copy – which the young girl agrees to send to her right away.

First of all, how many people and generations are living in that house? And, because they’re hispanic, it’s slightly racist, right? And I don’t understand why everyone is so excited that this girl – who is at least 18, but looks 22 – just got her first paycheck working at her college bookstoreDid she never work before this? How did she not have some sort of job in high school? What kind of lazy-promotiong home is this?! Congratulations… you just got your first minimum wage paycheck a week after you had your first legal drink! And why is everyone moving like this was directed by Aaron Sorkin? So many things wrong.

Now, speaking of weird videos… some Eagles Christmas cheer from Colin:

Annnnnd speaking of Christmas cheer, Jim Thome:

When Washington, Ill., mayor Gary Manier was reached by phone Wednesday night, he had no idea of the $100,000 personal commitment made by Jim and Andrea Thome and the Thome family to help rebuild a city devastated by tornadoes on Nov. 17.

Manier was overwhelmed by the generous act from one of the game’s greatest sluggers and greatest people, who also was born and raised 15 miles from Washington in Peoria, Ill., in addition to the help presented by the White Sox and three more of Thome’s former teams.

“I’m so thankful for a Central Illinois guy thinking about us,” said Manier of Thome, who currently serves as special assistant to White Sox general manager Rick Hahn. “You don’t really know what to say.”

Thome toured the devastation last Wednesday in Washington, where his brother Randy and his family reside. Thome was joined by Manier and former NBA player Doug Lee, who hails from Washington as well. Manier said that 1,086 homes were damaged and 532 were destroyed.

The visit understandably had a profound effect on Thome.

“I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. The devastation literally took my breath away,” said Thome in a statement from a White Sox release Wednesday, which also announced the team’s help in the tornado relief efforts.

“I knew at that moment that Andrea and I would do whatever we could to help the people of Washington, so near to where I grew up, and home to my brother Randy and his family,” Thome added in the statement. “We are so grateful that my former teams stepped up to join us in our efforts to help.”

On 60 Minutes last night, Amazon revealed that they are building a private cloud for the CIA and then unveiled their army of delivery drones. No, there’s nothing creepy about that at all.

And hey, speaking of Amazon (and yet another terrible segue): Let’s face it, you’ll be shopping there over the next month. If you click this link , CB gets a small commission on everything you buy. I can’t thank the many, many of you who did this last year enough. So, shop Amazon , support CB. Please and thanks.

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17 Comments

  • Catch a damned pass December 2, 2013 at 10:30 am

    I wouldn’t call it racist, but who the fuck cares about a bunch of fucking can’ts anyway? Are they trying to get them to get their drug money out of their mattresses and into banks? We all know lolita isn’t working at the bookstore, she’s definitely a hooker.

    I’m moving to Wyoming.

    • Catch a damned pass December 2, 2013 at 10:31 am

      Also, I learned about the turducken this week, holy shit that looks amazing!

  • Slammin Gretzky's Daughter December 2, 2013 at 10:31 am

    The eagles are good enough to beat the Saints or the Seahawks? In the words of Chris Carter: Come on, man.

    Cary Williams can’t cover anyone and this team got bailed out by Carson Palmer playing like, well, Carson Palmer. You think this team can really beat Drew Brees? And if Rashard Mendenhall can average over four yards a carry against us, what are Marshawn Lynch and Russel Wilson going to do? Also do you think we can really move the ball all that well against Seattle’s defense? The eagles have only played one good team (maybe two if you count the overrated chiefs who have had a similarly soft schedule) all year, and they’re 7-5. And yet you think they could beat the Saints or Seahawks (who they’ll likely play on the road unless Carolina wins the division) in the playoffs? Really?

  • Informed December 2, 2013 at 10:33 am

    they beat a rather sound team yesterday. our offense fared mostly well against a pretty good defense. meanwhile, our defense has really become a bend but dont break defense. overall, the birds looked great in the 1st half but seemed to cling for life in the 2nd half. its been a common theme in their wins this season. chip and company need to find a way to maintain the high tempo of their offense in the 2nd half while also killing time on the game clock. arizona found their way back into the game yesterday as a result.

  • Your Mother December 2, 2013 at 10:35 am

    You’re going to have to do better with the T-shirts Kyle. These kinda suck. Think old school? Think catchy? I love goofy t-shirts and wouldn’t wear any of these.

    Kinda like a “Liger”, a “Folesger”? Part Nick Foles, part tiger. C’mon man, use that brain, mamma can’t think of everything for you!

    • Thomas E Merschen December 2, 2013 at 10:42 am

      This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard for a t shirt. God damn morons up in here.

      • Your Mother December 2, 2013 at 10:50 am

        Fuck you Tom. Calling “G” Geezuz is wayyyyyy worse. He can barely hold his own on ice, let alone water.. Are you going to wear a nut sack on your shirt? Just because you wear them on your chin doesn’t make it right for a shirt….

        • MPH December 2, 2013 at 12:53 pm

          Your F’n Mother: No, this Thomas dude’s right. Folesger is the fucking stupidest thing anyone has ever suggested on this site. And that’s a very, very low bar. If that’s using your brain, I feel bad for all the people around you that get stupider just by breathing the same air you do. Defend it; defend how on any planet your ‘Folesger’ idea is the slightest bit funny or smart. Dare you. Kill yourself.

          • Your Mother December 2, 2013 at 2:07 pm

            The real McCoy with a pair of shades on it? Get it? Shady. McCoy? Hey, I’m just throwing shit over here. You know, if Nick Foles was part tiger then he’s definitely a fucking Folesger. No doubt about it.

            Now, please explain what’s so fucking funny or smart about any of the shirts CB is fronting?? A nut sack? Saying Giroux + Jesus = Geezuz? typing some d-jac unintelligible shit on a shirt? A dead mascot? I don’t even have to try hard to come up with better shit than that. Yes a Folsger shirt fits in this jumble of crap. Really, think about it.

  • Thomas E Merschen December 2, 2013 at 10:42 am

    How bout a Candy from the Oak Tshirt?

  • Fishtown Bus Trip December 2, 2013 at 10:46 am

    HEY, We beat someone to death outside of CBP. How come we never get a shout out?

  • Cartman December 2, 2013 at 10:51 am

    Kyle, you talk about the Type OB’ers drinking the Flyers kool aid? Well, holy shit.

    The Eagles are going to the NFC Championship? As you said, that means that they’d have to beat either Seattle or New Orleans in those cities… and that sure as shit isn’t happening. Even if they get a 10 point lead in the 4th quarter, instead of running the “best running back in the NFL” to run the clock down, Kelly will throw 3 times in a row, use 25 seconds of the clock, then punt. They got away with it vs Arizona because that offense isn’t very good. They won’t get away with it against New Orleans (and they won’t get that 10 point lead vs Seattle).

    Now, onto Shady. He’s great. He’s ONE OF the best running backs in the NFL. But you can’t say he’s the best. AD still has that crown, and if anyone is going to take it from him this year, it’s Jamaal Charles.

    I like Shady, I really do, but you can’t say he’s the best in the NFL.

    Keep drinking the kool aid, though.

    • Nice work, Cartman December 2, 2013 at 11:50 am

      Cartman, good points similar to what I made above (Gretzky’s daughter). I like how you point out the irony of all the “type OB comments.” The Shady thing is similar to when he kept calling Cliff Lee the best pitcher in the national league this year, when it was clearly Clayton Kershaw by any method of evaluation.

      • Cartman December 2, 2013 at 12:22 pm

        Agreed completely. The Lee thing was ridiculous.

        Also, Kyle thinks the Eagles can beat New Orleans or Seattle in the second round. That means they must win the first round home game, likely to be played against Carolina. Again, not happening, that team is too good right now.

  • Maxie December 2, 2013 at 11:52 am

    Sorry, but I don’t have enough confidence in Foles yet. Yes, he is good, maybe someday he’ll be great, but not right now. He was lucky for the defense yesterday. I cannot see him beating Drew Brees or Russel Wilson.

  • ThePhillyFlash December 2, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    NFC Championship? Yo, Kyle! let’s just make the playoffs first, and that’s not a given right now because the only way we’ll get there is to win the division. No way we’re getting past Carolina or San Francisco as things stand right now. Sure, the Birds are 7-5, but damn, they’re shaky. Ray Didinger was right to point out their flaws, and what the hell was Chip doing running the goddamn wildcat which was a cock up from the word go? As for that Wells Fargo commercial, who the hell still gives out paper checks for little Miss Wetback to snap a pic of with her cellphone? I thought EVERYONE is under Direct Deposit these days.

  • Eric Povernick December 2, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    Wow, only 16 comments on a mega-stuffed roundup? I guess Candy and the rest of the losers took the day off. I guess this is why Kyle reinstated Candy.

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