Fuck you, Jeff Bezos. This beer delivery drone is king drone and all the rest bow to it.

A Wisconsin brewery is using drones to deliver cases of beer to ice fishermen. This is simultaneously fascinating, magical and confusing all at the same time. It’s like when the baby hovered over Earth at the end of 2001: A Space Odyessy.* You have no idea how you got here and it’s fucking weird, but, for whatever reason, we now know that we’ve arrived and evolved as a race. Hammers were cool, the Internet is great… but flying beer drones? That’s some Kubrick shit right there.

Unfortunately, I’m fairly certain delivering beer is illegal in PA (I try every time I call Tonelli’s and every time they tell me no), so most of us are SOL. [UPDATE: Not illegal! WTF!] And, to be a recipient of this service, you need to ICE FISH. Which may be the worst pastime on Earth. I don’t know what sort of sick fuck you have to be to willfully lock yourself in a barely-heated box atop a frozen lake in an effort to extract fish from a 9-inch hole. It’s one of the only activities that when someone dies doing it, you just shake your head and laugh instead of feeling bad. I mean, even a shattered skydiver gets some sympathy because he had the misfortune of two chutes failing him. But an ice fisherman? Yeah, that’s what you get when you strand yourself on a maybe-frozen lake with nothing but a fishing pole, transistor radio and a Playboy. Of course… it might all be worth the risk if you get beer delivered to you by flying craft.

*You thought I was going to go Star Wars, didn’t you? Drone wars. Nope. Kubrick. You zagged, I zigged.

via Times Union