Beer Delivery Drone

Fuck you, Jeff Bezos. This beer delivery drone is king drone and all the rest bow to it.

A Wisconsin brewery is using drones to deliver cases of beer to ice fishermen. This is simultaneously fascinating, magical and confusing all at the same time. It’s like when the baby hovered over Earth at the end of 2001: A Space Odyessy.* You have no idea how you got here and it’s fucking weird, but, for whatever reason, we now know that we’ve arrived and evolved as a race. Hammers were cool, the Internet is great… but flying beer drones? That’s some Kubrick shit right there.

Unfortunately, I’m fairly certain delivering beer is illegal in PA (I try every time I call Tonelli’s and every time they tell me no), so most of us are SOL. [UPDATE: Not illegal! WTF!] And, to be a recipient of this service, you need to ICE FISH. Which may be the worst pastime on Earth. I don’t know what sort of sick fuck you have to be to willfully lock yourself in a barely-heated box atop a frozen lake in an effort to extract fish from a 9-inch hole. It’s one of the only activities that when someone dies doing it, you just shake your head and laugh instead of feeling bad. I mean, even a shattered skydiver gets some sympathy because he had the misfortune of two chutes failing him. But an ice fisherman? Yeah, that’s what you get when you strand yourself on a maybe-frozen lake with nothing but a fishing pole, transistor radio and a Playboy. Of course… it might all be worth the risk if you get beer delivered to you by flying craft.

*You thought I was going to go Star Wars, didn’t you? Drone wars. Nope. Kubrick. You zagged, I zigged.

via Times Union


17 Responses

  1. I can imagine the possibilities! Beer delivered on the beach. Maybe even while tailgating—well, that would turn into lord of the flies.

  2. “to willfully lock yourself in a barely-heated box atop a frozen lake in an effort to extract fish from a 9-inch hole.”

    Rhea’s husband does that just about every night!

    (Just sayin’)


  3. I’ll put my 6 incher in a 9 incher any day. Like my daddy always said, “Son, pussy is pussy.”

  4. You can get beer delivered in PA. I used to all the time up at Bloomsburg.

    That said…this thing is awesome and why don’t more places deliver booze around the area?

    1. I’d rather have a drone bring me beer then go down to the bodega to buy three 40’s of Old E…

  5. Kubrick reference is brilliant….Arthur C Clarke would’ve been creepy.
    just wait til the police drones buzz the Eagles tailgators…..”Silver Linings Playbook” meets “Terminator: Rise of the Machines”

    ps: Fuck you Raff

  6. Well that 12 pack is clearly mostly empty, you can see through from one hand hole to the other. Most copters like that one can only lift a couple pounds at a time so a six pack would even be too heavy. Although I’m sure those rednecks will enjoy half pints of Blackberry brandy out on the ice

  7. Kyle I realize your a cityboy, but don’t knock icefishing. There is a reason so many people do it, its damn fun. Even my wife loves to do it and she is about as country and 50 Cent.

  8. Kyle, how dumb are you? The case is empty. That drone doesn’t have the power to carry a 12-pack of beer.

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