Chase Utley’s Magical Media Tour

Voila_Capture975 Voila_Capture976The Phillies rolled out Chase Utley yesterday and sent him on a magical media tour around Philly to tell anyone willing to listen that his team will contend in 2014.

For what, exactly, we’re not sure.

It was unusual to see Chase so… accessible. First he stopped by the WIP Morning Show and sat in-studio for half an hour [audio here]. Then there was an unscheduled visit to FOX Good Day, which films right across the street from WIP’s studios. Then he met the assembled media at Citizens Bank Park at that little spot in the Phillies’ clubhouse that has played home to so many media scrums, both memorable and forgettable (Delmon Young). Then he called into Mike Missanelli’s show, also somewhat unexpectedly [audio here]. And today he’ll be taking questions on the Phillies’ Twitter.

That’s… more than Chase does during the course of an entire season. What was the reason? To spread Phillies cheer. Sure, he promoted his charity, the Utley Foundation, and mentioned Phillies single-game ticket sales, but this was a publicity thing during a winter in which the Phillies sorely need positive publicity. Wag that dog!

They announced yesterday that the Phanatic, who took this extraordinarily awkward yet hot photo with Dom Brown in Mexico…

pic via Dom Brown’s Instagram

… would be at all of Spring Training. And then there was Chase: Look, over here, at the great Utley! He smiles, smells nice, wears a cool, World Fucking Champion-esque beanie, and has two knees! Everyone experience the power of the great Chase… just ignore his grey hair.



I love Utley. A lot. Want to squeeze him. Name at least one child after him. Want me and my fiancée to be couples friends and do dinner with him and Jen, and after the meal… who knows? But make no mistake, despite all of Utley’s assurances that he likes the squad this year – one of the first names he thought to cite as a reason why was Jake Diekman – no sane baseball person will tell you that the Phillies should be a good team in 2014. Sure, Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Ryan Howard, Carlos Ruiz and, ugh, Marlon Byrd could all remain healthy while Cole Hamels and Cliff Lee dominate, in which case the Phillies would make the playoffs. But that’s highly unlikely, and I actually think the Phils are resigned to the fact that their window has closed and, they’ll never tell you this, that’s why their name rarely came up in discussions about higher-priced free agents this winter. Jacoby Ellsbury and Robinson Cano would’ve been guys the Phillies may have gone after two, three years ago to put them over the edge (a la Hunter Pence). But on this aging team, overpaid stars like that would be a waste of money. So…. we get more Utley, because he’s one of the only things people even like about the Phillies anymore.


70 Responses

    1. The comments went from being great in December with the phony cuz & Dan hanratty’s to an all time low with this dude nick & his stealing handles & replying to himself. Kyle we need your help

      1. It sucks because it ruins the thread but as far as the names go, you can always just use a different name…As soon as mine started getting copied/stolen I just changed it.

      2. Yeah, “Phoney Cuz” and “Anthony Gargano’s Fake Laugh” were great, especially back on the WIP/Macnow threads.

        Hopefully, things will get better, if the troll has been banned. (I guess we will find out soon enough, if he once again repeats his earth-shattering discovery that my screen name sounds like diarrhea!)

  1. I heard that interview with Missanelli. Sounds like he’s turned into a complete company man. When pressed about players calling out the lack of leadership on the team, he sounded like a politician. Giving answers that had nothing to do with the question. “we all want to win badly. we win as a team, lose as a team. winning will solve all our problems” blah blah blah. This year is going to really suck.

      1. What a fuckin tool Mikey Miss is! He disrespected Utley! I blocked his ass on Twitter too! I just have to kiss his ass during the show.

  2. Chase came in the other day when I was working the fryers and I hooked him up with some free wings

  3. Utley sucks people never critisize him cause he’s white but the kill j roll and howard

    1. Learn how to read and comprehend baseball statistics before you make stupid comments like this.

    2. Hey fake Angelo, shouldn’t you be posting your righteous, racial injustice posts with a fake Mikey Miss handle instead? It would fit your topic better.

      1. “Cartman”, you replied to your own comment – it’s so obvious to everyone. You are just too dumb to realize your “tell”.

      1. Wait, is that the douchebag lawyer wearing a cowboy hat on his TV commercials?

  4. I can appreciate what they’re trying to do here, but the reasoning behind it is the problem. They’re sending Utley out because he can do no wrong in this city and because Rubin Amaro has completely fucked any expectation of this team winning. Utley is trying to get the fans back on their side, because right now the general perception of this team is pretty awful. Rubin Amaro has had a completely underwhelming offseason (that’s putting it really nice…) and then the astronomical TV deal ended up being really shitty considering the market they’re in. (The Angels deal was bigger and no one could give two shits about them out there)

    If they wanted to get the fans back in their good graces, they could’ve saved Chase the time and just fired Rubin Amaro Jr.

    Fucking. Amateurs.

    1. So very true. Chase was sent out on a mission to put lipstick on the pig that’s the 2014 Phillies season. Lord only knows if anybody with even one working brain cell is buying what he’s trying to sell.

      1. Hate to be that guy but long term, nobody in this city gives two shits about the Phils either.

        How quickly we forgot the days when you could go buy a pack of hotdogs and get free tickets.

        They got the deal they did because outside of the bandwagon fans, not enough people care about the Philis consistently.

  5. The comments section time has come. Like E!SPN or PFT before it the thread has become a breeding ground for suffering and injustice. It is beyond saving and must be allowed to die. This is the most important function of the League of Shadows. It is one we’ve performed for centuries. Comments… must be destroyed.

    1. I have identified the trolls, and am about to exterminate them. Unfortunately, the collateral damage may include the entire comments section. As such, don’t be surprised to log on to CB one day soon and see a full-screen t-shirt ad in this space!

  6. Missinelli to Utley. “Ya know Chase I hosted the post game show with Larry Bowa last year.” Who cares. Its cancelled.

  7. What does Chase say at the end of that interview? I won’t be listening to your show anytime soon? haha

  8. So Missanelli calls Utley “aloof” and then tries to make some kind of lame joke about a song and dance?
    Don’t think Chase will be appearing on his show again anytime soon.

  9. last night, im watching CSN’s “20 most villains in philadelphia sports.” obviously it was taped a few years back being as mikey miss refers to the phils as MLB’s elite. it was a painful thing to hear because their fall from such a status has been a steady decline as they went from MLB champs, to NL champs, to division round loser, to barely missing the playoffs, to where they reside now…..a state of purgatory. i want to hold hope that the luster can be quickly restored, ie 2012 red sox failed to win 70 games in 2012 yet then won the WS in 2013. however, i just dont see it happening for us.

          1. TK3,

            Yes we know. By now, it’s so easy to spot his m.o.

  10. Think it’s time the phils buck up for a new phanatic costume. Shit’s all faded and his kicks are beat.

    1. Yes, let’s make it kelly green, since Lurie doesn’t seem inclined to change the hideous Eagles’ jerseys back to the classic color.

    1. Yeah, you was framed! That’s the ticket!

      (None of this petty shit started happening until you showed up.)

    1. Well hello! Where can I find a larger size (of your avatar pic)? You look like Wingette material.

  11. Mike Miss is a tool – it was an ok interview with semi decent questions for the first half, then it went onto the I HAVE TO MAKE THIS ABOUT MIKEY MISS portion of the interview, where he starts calling him names and shit….fuck off

  12. Ha…is Mikey Miss serious? Can’t believe he asked Utley why he’s so quiet…like there’s an actual answer for it. There are extroverts and introverts in this world and that’s just the way it is…deal with it.

    1. I like Mike Miss for a long time and am still happy he drove Burger King off the air. However, he has become way too confident in his abilities. He is morphing into a whiny bitch. All he needed to do was to say, “hey the question came to mind and just slipped out. I shouldn’t have asked it since it isn’t relevant”. Instead, he wasted way too much time trying to justify being an asshole.

  13. Papahomo impersonated me at the unemployment line, now I can’t get another check issued. Goose gotta eat!!

    1. Only 1 problem: Goose don’t call Goose Goose. Only da Cuz calls Goose Goose.

  14. Mike Miss needs to leave this city. His shock jock personality needs to go back to New York. Say what you want about Utley but he was key in bringing this city its only championship since 83. And lets not forget how he almost won the 09 series by himself. Missanelli does nothing but give this city a bad name. And of course his sheep that follow everything he says right or wrong. ie Foles, Flyers hating, and now Chase. Go away Mike you useless douchbag

  15. Your damn right I’m upset with the Phillies. First I lose my cushy six figure job on Phillies Post Game Live sponsored by Everyone. Larry, it’s time for the “Bleeding Great Play Of The Game” brought to you by Kotex Tampons. I’m not done Skippy, the Phillies new contract with Comcast resulted in the firing of my good buddy Chris Wheeler. Wheels was my Wingman on Samson St. I’m still top of totem pole!!!

  16. The Utley gambit came from the front office / sales office. The ‘deadline’ for season tickets deposits was earlier, but pushed back to January 13. I think they have slow sales and needed a positive push of some kind, so they enlisted Utley.
    If they rolled RAJ out there it would be Night of the Living Dead all over again, an angry mob with hatchets and torches

    1. The Phillies’ scouting and development department IS the Night of the Living Dead!

      1. This year the Diamond Club will be half empty because of the Diamond Jubilee players on the real diamond.

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