I Have Upset the Woman Who Wrote a Book About F-ing Michael Vick

Voila_Capture998I was unable to secure an interview with the stripper who wrote a book about fucking (v.) Michael Vick.

On Wednesday, I contacted Bella Escritor and requested an interview. I told her that I was interested in both the content in her book and in asking her some of the questions that have been raised about its legitimacy. I promised her that it would not be an ambush, and I meant it. She agreed, and we set a time to speak at 9 a.m. yesterday.

While I was conversing with her, I wrote a post about the book’s existence, cited Jimmy Kempski’s concerns about its legitimacy, made a joke or two, and commented on the book’s ludicrous shipping price and sketchy-looking website.

I then received this email from Escritor:

Better yet, just had a huge smile on my face while reading your article online.  Maybe you should do a little more homework and actually “read” the book before requesting an interview.  Maybe once your are fully informed, we can talk.  Until then, take care.

I responded, apologizing for what was admittedly an unfair joke about her pen name sounding like Ass Critter. I took it back. Taksies backsies. I talked Escritor off the ledge, too, and while she wouldn’t agree to an audio interview, she did send me a draft of the book in PDF form and said that she would consider an interview if I gave it a fair review.

I’m not in the book review business, nor did I have the time or want to read 153 pages, but I did spend a couple hours skimming the text yesterday, looking for the best parts and also trying to corroborate some details. In the ensuing post, I noted the reasons for skeptism, but also said that certain details checked out. In other words: I lent a tinge of credibility to her tale. I mentioned that it was a fairly easy read. I provided a link to purchase a copy. And I excerpted (with Escritor’s permission) the parts that I thought you, the reader, would find interesting.

Those were the sex parts.

Escritor no like:

hi. you did your story. any other use of the materials provided to you for any future stories are unapproved. You had my permission for that one story only.

And then on the Twitters:

Voila_Capture1002 Voila_Capture1003

Now look, I hate it when I have to give strippers marketing lessons, but it seems I have no choice here. Let some singles linger on the stage before picking them up with your labia, it encourages people to throw more. You’re selling a book, a book that you wrote trying to capitalize on the success of someone for whom you claim to care. In that book, you wrote very lurid, explicit, totally unnecessary things about your time together. Those things were merely a fraction of the whole, but undoubtedly the most entertaining and ridiculous parts. A media outlet (let’s put big quotes around that) uses those excerpts with permission, and consequently, teases readers, who now, with interest piqued, may want to read more about a local athlete’s affair… in your book. They don’t care about a stripper’s love for a convict. Or a football player who fell in love with a stripper. They care about the sex and the trash-talking. And the Chick-fil-A biscuits. Those are the best excerpts, and the ones you should encourage more outlets to use.




138 Responses

    1. i have yet to see a pic of this misunderstood yet upstanding citizen, but you know how you are told a story and then you conjure up in your own mind an image of what that person looks like? well, based on what i have read about her, why do i envision her looking like the “high class hooka” that bangs neno brown in new jack city!! great, now i have color me badd stuck in my head!

      1. I imagine that this is the most accurate description of this woman recorded by anyone, anywhere, ever.

      2. This is my favorite post i have seen from you on here. Fucking brilliant man. Upon reflection, I 100% agree with your assesment of her appearance. Henceforth I will not be able to picture this high falutin whore as anything other than that dirty skeezer from New Jack City. “Watch out for pimples on the booty!”

  1. What a dumb whore. Wouldn’t it be great though if Marcus decided to defend his m̶e̶a̶l̶ ̶t̶i̶c̶k̶e̶t̶’̶s̶ brother’s honor and rolled down on a Greyhound to choke her/go to jail for ten years?

  2. Heard her pusssy smells like watermelon. Angelo needs her as a wingette. Like to see her tits

  3. We should bring her to wing bowl and then have her sit next my no talented co-host, Rhea. They can compare bar stories and previous husbands.

  4. Kyle, to quote your post from yesterday:
    “She requested that I read the book first, and provided me with a proof copy, with which to do so.

    That was my morning today.

    Quarterback Keeper is a short book– roughly 153 pages of largish font and simple sentences. It reads fairly well, actually.”

    From that description it sure sounds like you were saying that you did in fact read the whole book. Today’s post you admit that you did not in fact read the book, and you did in fact just post the juicy bits. It took you a few hours to “skim” thru a 153 pages?
    You got caught dude… you passed off your post yesterday as a review of sorts, but didn’t actually read the damn thing.
    But good on you for admitting so in this post (although you are turning around and are trying to make her sound bitchy). Bottom line is do your homework next time for real, instead of using the word search function in Adobe Acrobat to look for “dick, cock, balls, and pussy.”

    1. ….agreed, i was thinking the same thing. You definitely portrayed it as having read the book. It is kind of weak…

    2. Come on you dont really think anything the Kyle posts here is real journalism do you? $2 hack

    3. I scrolled every page, read several chapters in full, random paragraphs, yes, did search for key words, etc. In two hours of skimming, there is quite a bit of reading getting done. Did I read every word? No. But did I read enough to comment on the font and note that it was an easy read? Yes.

      1. Nor should you have read every word. I imagine a book written by a no-talent stripper would be brutal to sit down and read.

  5. I’d love to see the rough draft of this book before the “editor” got ahold of it.

    “Mike sed hey i wunt to fuk you and i was all likes ok so we fuked and he cummed on my titees n than we goed to watch his dawgs get lectocewted n shit lol those dawgs was all like arfarf ise beeng lectrocewted n then wes went to Mikes bruthas room in Mikes baysmint and Markus wuz awl like yo fuck you Mike i tellin you lass week ise was out of Funyons down heer n you aint bought me none i mean damn n then i sukked both there dicks wile they held guns too my hed they craycray lol.”

  6. Ill offer to pen the forward of her next book “black whore: the story of a black greasey whore”

    1. Stop using my name fatso go back to grazing with the rest of the Cows.


  7. Something tells me this chick takes advantage of drunk guys & overcharges them for lap dances.
    Just a hunch

  8. Since when does a scumbag like Bella Asscritter have the right to judge ANYONE or ANYTHING? I don’t know why CPS doesn’t take her children…f**king slut. Just pissed cause after all that she could’nt get a ring . Btw…. candy is a synonym for DRUGS…. Hint:) F**k you Kiana. lol:)))

  9. You are a internet bully who doesnt read well. I am white and I take time to read before I review anything. Such a liar you are. Shame on you.

  10. Kyle, you do a great job, btw….. Keep up the good work….btw , her name is supposed to be Kiani and shes’s having a book signing in Atlanta soon. Ya’ll drop by if you care for sloppy seconds….

  11. Sounds like she dated one guy for 10years had protected sex with him and wrote a memoir. Where is the harm in that? Oh she stripped before. Alot of good womeb have you prune.

  12. Who the fuck lies about reading a book to gain someones trust in order to get an interview. You broke the deal and she should sue your racist hater ass. Cant stand liars. Are you capitalizing off the ads fron this story. Yes you are. Trying to make a quick buck by trashing a woman who only wrote a book. Asshole

    1. From your screen name, I’m assuming you are French, in which case your opinion doesn’t matter.


  13. Boycott this lying reporter. Bully tactics to get a story and gain viewers and make adsense money. I am starting a boycott.

    1. Stfu… Kyle is cool …. like SHE never lied to or about ANYONE… Mike VICK needs to sue her for impersonating a dog. I’ll bet when she hears the words ” assume the position” she immediately falls down on all fours.

    2. Aside from whatever Kyle may have done wrong by not reading the whole book, does it ever get old playing the race card? You’re taking a page out of Donovan McNabb’s playbook. Aside from his choking in big moments he always played and exaggerated the race card. One of the reasons why many don’t respect him. That includes people of his same race. Instead of showing your anger, how about taking a minute to review what your posting and observe some obvious facts. Like it occurs to me that, although he is a horrible president, our current president is of mixed race descent. You can bet he was at least intelligent enough not to play the extremely worn out race card along the way.

    3. You pussy stfu she is selling his vick )sex stories to make a buck she is a whore black cunt if u don’t like this site don’t be on this site u swiss cheese jerking fagggot

  14. This shit truly cracks me up. You published a fucking book that is pretty much a Mike Vick sex tape in word form, and you’re mad because a sports blogger gave you free press by printing excerpts of it on the website?

    What was the end game of the book? People were just going to skip these parts? Do the other pages of the book change the context of what kind of condom you made dude wear?

    Fucking. Amateurs.

    1. Your a dumb ass too. Kyle Scott put bits and pieces of the book together to make it appear cohesive and like it was the real story. I have the book, its not. He took a paragraph from one page and added sentences from another to the bottom of it to make the write look dumb and sell fools like you a story you would fall for. Boy did you fall hard. Hahahaha.

      1. I read the book and it’s written on a third grade level. She made the print large so as to fill the pages. If anyone wants to read it, I can dig it out of my trash. I never laughed so hard….probably as hard as Mike Vick.( no pun intended) lol

      2. You’re*


        I saved a bunch of fucks by not giving any. Come correct if you’re going to call someone a dumbass.

        Nothing you said changes the fact that the book was written by a stripper and its solely about an affair with a married NFL QB that goes into explicit detail about their sexual encounters.

        Who the fuck would read this entire book?

      3. You must be so proud to be related to such a trashy slore, no one would actually buy that book and then defend it unless they were related to said slore.

  15. Defend the lying reporter for taking the sex parts of a book and admitting to gaining trust under false pretenses. Leave the woman alone and pick on someone else. You already said you hate Mike Vick. So we know you would not report anything positive in the book about him. Cheap way to sell a story Kyle Scott.

    1. #1 – blogger, admittedly not journalist

      #2 – it’s your hits to his site that make him money and your pointless posts that do. I’m sure he thanks you for the traffic, you booger eating moron

      #3 – no self respected human being would actually read that whole book. The abridged version can be found at dogfart.com

      That is all.

    2. Would u defend his dishonesty but not fucking use ur idiot brain to realize that mikevick obviously trusted her and she is now profitting off her fucking whorish betrayal how is why kyle did worse dipstick

      1. Good one. Idiot brain. You must have done well at stripper college as well. What does it take to blow some lines off your asscrack these days???


    You can pick any name you want honey. Any name on Gods green WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Earth…and you pick…Bella Escritor. Something tells old Nature Boy that you’re not Italian, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! What the hell is an Escritor? Sounds like a venereal disease to me! You’ll fit right in with Ronnie Mexico…or he’ll fit right in…WAIT THAT’S CHAPTER 6! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    I’ve spent more money on spilled liquor in bars across this country in the past three days then you’ll ever see in your life! Stylin, profilin, limousine riding, Leer jet flying…lock up your daughters cus the horsemen are in town!


    1. Bella Escritor is Spanish as well dumb ass. It means Beautiful Writer but a limited mind like yours would not know that. The stripper has a college degree maybe that is why she was clever enough to pick a spanish name for herself. I cannot wait to see how beautiful she really is. Now that would be a REAL story Kyle Liar Scott.

      1. If she has a college degree….I’m the Queen of England ;that book is written simple so all her simple hoes can relate. The book is like the author…….Short and Simple.

      2. Well, they say BLACK is beautiful; WHITE is alright….. You can’t fix stupid. Mike’s wife is the bomb though; you know what he said….. He always ends up ” the baddest bitch”. Guess Asscritter didn’t match up:(

      3. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Don’t be sad Bella! I know it’s you sweetheart and listen…Nature Boy is here for you. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

      4. Oh, her pen name is derived from the Spanish language, which is clever and a sure sign she went to college. Thanks for clearing that up.

        I’m pulling so hard for the Sickle Cell to make a huge comeback that it’s not even funny anymore.

    1. Really though I’m not sure what’s more annoying. Ass Critter’s homies posting on here or nick posting on here.

    1. Bella was a Stripper now she is an Author
      Kyle scott was a credible blogger
      Now he is just a douchbag lying reporter. With peep freaks and bullies for fans. Got to feed the idiots more dirt and lies so they can call you a hero huh kScott.

      1. Savanah is one of ass critters stripping gals! That’s cute you gals got each others back an shit!

    2. Hacksaw Slim Druggin Jim Duggan!! Let’s go paint the town and send the bill to Vince McMahon like the good ole days! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  17. I hear she’s giving away the books now…. couldn’t give me one….I know the entire content…. thanks Kyle. That’s why she’s so upset. You put the best part out there for free…..

  18. You didn’t have time to read a 153 page book? Was there big sports news that last few days that kept you busy copying and pasting? I like how this whore already has you pegged with the scissors and glue remark.

    1. Scroll up son, the real Candy is laying down the truth with my boy Tully Blanchard! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Someone get Arn Anderson on the phone!!

  19. You should probably begin boycotting by not commenting on his website and reading his articles, fucking idiot.

  20. With this single sentence Kyle Scott sums up why this website is so fucking terrible and unoriginal.

    “nor did I have the time or want to read 153 pages, but I did spend a couple hours skimming the text yesterday”

    Really? Have you ever read a fucking book bro? 153 pages can be done on your fucking lunch break, you consider this shit a real job too? Fuck.

  21. Kyle, you and Bella have one thing in common, it looks like you get your site logos/book cover artwork from the same place!!

  22. the comments are making me like kyle again…what the fuck guys.

    and who green-lighted this book as a BOOK?? did someone actually sit back and say, ‘great book idea stripper, need a towel?’ o wai…

  23. People with nothing else to do but hate online. They said Philly people were racist rednecks with no education. No wonder Mike Vick IS LEAVING PHILLY. None of you could read or write a book which explains Kyle Dumbass Scott not reading the book. No dayjobs either. Since when do trailers have wifi?!

    1. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Mike is leaving Philly because my nephew Nic Foles took his job and he isn’t staying for backup money! That’s fine, he can take his talents elsewhere and he’s a hell of an athlete.

      People defending this girl are about 10 cents short of a dime if you’re picking up what I’m putting down. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

      Kyle Scott’s opinion is the most attention this dust collecting book will ever get outside of the ten copies you’ve already purchased Toya. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


    2. Who ever said Philly residents are rednecks? Clearly you haven’t been to central pa!

    3. Hi Toya, I have a PhD in Geological Sciences, while you rub your ass cheeks against penises for a living. So shut the fuck up and go hose down your snatch before your shift starts.

    4. Get outta here. What do you do or a living that makes you think you can get on here criticizing all of the posters on here? Are you a stripper too just like you seemingly best friend, Bella Escritor? Oh wait, let me guess, you have some education in “nursing,” just like Bella right? I hate how all strippers claim to be educated. The only nursing Bella did was nursing Vick’ cock with her mouth.

    5. Toya,

      Please stop in at the WIP studios tomorrow morning. You sound like an interesting character and I’d like to interview you on the air. You can also have time to respond to these comments here. Also, there are a few Openings left for Wingettes.

      Oh, be sure to shower before you get here. We don’t want the studio smelling like a strip joint.


      1. Ric Flair you cheeseburger tits scramble egg balls. You not legend. Sheikie Baby is legend. I put you in camel clutch make you humble. I fuck your dead dog ass old country style.

        1. SHIEK you patchouli smelling Iranian fuck! Let me tell you something pal, to be the man…


          You gotta beat the man!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! And you couldn’t lace my boots on my worst day buddy. You’re second rate and you’re not in my class! I wouldn’t even let Tully or Arn kick your ass. You should be jobbing to punks pumping gas in Jersey on the side.


        2. Sheik, why don’t you go piss your pants because your shitfaced after drinking a sixer before going on a delightful morning radio show?

  24. People cant be for real on here actually upset that kyle didnt read the full “book” written by a nasty ass whore. Who the fuck cares??? Bunch of dumbasses defending a nasty ass bitch who had relations with an unavailable/married fucking man AND PUT IT OUT IN PUBLIC. Get the fuck over it.

  25. Pretty obvious that this dumb bitch and her friends post some of the comments above.

    Too damn funny that they are giving Kyle more hits and earning him more ad money by raiding the comments section lol. Fucking hilarious. How dumb can you be.

    On the other hand, smart business by Kyle for posting this.

  26. I fail to see where exactly Kyle “lied” to Asscritter or anyone else for that matter about reading the whole book. Just because you morons inferred that he read the whole thing doesn’t mean he lied. Also, when he provided the excerpts he provided two about the EXPLICIT sexual activities she described and others about McNutts and the genuine relationship shared between slut and athlete. He gave her free marketing for a terribly written book AND he actually made her look way more credible by doing the research into some of her claims (which any idiot should able to realized is where most of Kyle’s time was probably spent, not reading every word this 3rd grade writing level twat wrote). She’s mad because he gave away probably the best 2 pages of the whole book! Go wipe down a pole and dance Asscritter

  27. If Bella is reading this, I’d like to ask her if she wrote this book with hopes of no longer having to wipe stranger cum out of her crack after every shift, or just to bring in some extra cash so she can sport multiple pairs of new J’s?

    1. I bet her buttcrack, and realistically, probably her entire house, smells like coco butter every morning after working a long shift at the club. Just like my house would smell after Lamar visited the house late at night to talk to my muddah

  28. Kyle, how fucking pumped are you that this post is getting trolled by strippers named Savannah, Toya, who both strip at the Onyx Strip Club in Atlanta(4 stars on yelp, great discounts on cheaply cut coke and blowjobs), and someone named Spoons, who presumably is a bouncer and friend of Ass Critter??????

    I am. I love it. You should, however, make the strippers post pictures of their cesarean section scars if they want to continue to spew nonsense on this site.

      1. The Nature Boy has a pretty damn good feeling, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That Spoons is Bella Exraersaejuas;kdljas;lkdfja;sdlkfjas;dfljkasdlfjk herself!

        Nature Boy ain’t wrong often baby! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  29. Kyle, maybe she can use one of your quotes on the cover/dust jacket for the 2nd printing. In the few paragraphs of book there’s like 6 products mentioned by name (I’m guessing without their knowledge).

  30. How does anyone fall in love with a stripper??? You’re suppose to fuck them, not fall in love with them

  31. Richards, a 31-goal scorer for the Flyers in 2009-10, has just six goals this season with the talented Kings. Simmonds (16) and Schenn (13) have combined for 29 goals.

    Richards, who turns 29 next month, has 30 points (six goals, 24 assists), compared to 35 for Simmonds (16-19) and 30 for Schenn (13-17).


  32. You cant call her a stripper without mentioning the fact that she wrote and published a book no matter how much you hate it or think its dumb. She is the real winner. You keep talking about her and her book all damn week. Losers. STOP BEING JEALOUS RACIST. She is all you think about wether good or bad. SHE IS WINNING.

    1. Whether has two H’s.


      “Kimberly couldn’t decide whether or not to get her GED or to jerk drunk fat men off through their pants as a lifetime occupation.”

    2. As an actual educated (PENN — not U of Onyx Strip Club) black man, I’m curious to know what your opinion on me is then, Kim? I am not jealous, or a racist. No I am a normal human being who sees her as she is, a money hungry stripper whore. Sorry, but you can polish a turd all you want. You can even name it different names (I.e. Kimberly, Savannah, Spoons, Toya, etc.), but in the end, it’s still a turd.

      Like I said though, I haven’t read the book. It’s selling so well she is giving it away on her twitter feed! A sure sign of productivity! I have, however, read the abridged version on blacksonblondes.com. I am curious, Kim, are you going on or off shift at Onyx right now?

      1. Sorry, I took a big load of jizz in my eye behind a gas station, and as such have not been able to reply until now. I’LL SUCK YO DICK

          1. Hey Kim, when you’re breathing warm air onto a guy’s balls through the fabric of his pants, do you ever stop to wonder what your grandparents would say if they could see you at that moment?

    3. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah now people who don’t agree are racist!

      You’re all trash bags!




  33. Oh and Kim, if you can pronounce this… it was a rhetorical question. I don’t give a fuck what a stripper thinks of me.

  34. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Michael for his contributions to our team over the last several seasons. At this time, it’s probably best that both sides pursue other directions.

    I’d also like to say that Chip, Howie and their staff have done a WONDERFUL job this season, as we pursue our ultimate goal of multiple championships. The luster is now back on our Gold Standard, and we will surely attain new heights in the coming season.

    By the way, season ticket deposits are due next week.


Comments are closed.