I am truly, truly surprised it took this long for someone to write the are the Sixers too bad? article. I figured it would’ve come in mid-December, but the Sixers’ shocking start pushed things back a bit. They show promise! Good young talent! A future MVP! It wasn’t until last month sometime, once the Eagles were finished, that we realized how hilariously awful the Sixers are. It’s as bad, maybe worse than we thought it would be. It’s brilliant, expert tanking, and we should all admire the Sixers’ dedication to the craft.
But Tom Ziller of SB Nation wonders if maybe the Sixers are too bad for their own good:
The Sixers roster is, at this point, Thaddeus Young, Michael Carter-Williams, the inactive Nerlens Noel and a dozen fringe NBA players. Henry Sims, Elliot Williams andHollis Thompson are the Sixers’ top bench weapons. This team is constructed so unlike any other NBA team that it wouldn’t be a total shock if Philadelphia, defeated in 11 straight, ended the season on a 36-game losing streak. What team could this squad legitimately challenge barring injuries or a bucketful of fluke performances? The 2012 Bobcats — the worst team by winning percentage in NBA history — could probably handle these Sixers.
However, there’s no way that Adam Silver and the owners will intervene ahead of the 2014 NBA Draft. So long as the Sixers actually field a team of players with a pulse for the rest of the season and don’t conspire with players or the coach to lose on purpose, no punishment will be forthcoming. In fact, even if the league did punish the Sixers for malfeasance, it wouldn’t likely cost them a top-5 pick. (They are basically guaranteed a top-5 pick at this point. If they somehow finish with a better record than the Bucks, they can pick no lower than No. 5.) The worst thing the league could do would be to damage Philadelphia’s odds of picking No. 1 overall, and that’d be such a major penalty that it’s basically inconceivable so long as the Sixers lose by the book and not by outright, game-to-game tanking.
Translation: The Sixers are so unabashedly awful that they’re undoing could be that they’re too good at being bad. Willa Ford had this problem. I don’t think that will happen – that the league will take action – because the Sixers will never admit that they’re purposely losing games, even if Sam Hinkie has hijacked the Xbox of life and is sabotaging his real-world NBA team to see how far he can push the game before it crashes. Trade your all-star guard for draft picks? Check. Sit out that draft pick all year? Check. Trade your center for more draft picks? Check. Trade Evan Turner for a starter and then buyout the starter to circumvent trade restrictions all while launching a marketing campaign which essentially tells people that you are burning down the franchise and ruining the integrity of the game so you have a 25% chance of drafting a kid who’s shooting 35% in the Big 12 this winter? DOES NOT COMPUTE.
Actually, it computes just fine. Sam Hinkie has a calculator and he knows how to fuck his current team with it. Keep doing what you’re doing, Sixers. I’ll stand in the corner and watch, like Stanley Tucci in Sex and the Other Man:
27 Comments
That’s a great gut on that guy sleeping
Is it really that tough to stay in shape as you get older? I am 33 with a full time job working 50-60 hrs / week with no kids. I have noticed that my metabolism isn’t what it used to be so I exercise daily, eat right and manage to stay in relatively decent shape. But look at the photo of that guy sleeping; all of the guys in it are old and overweight. Is it really that difficult or are they just on the Kyle Scott exercise and nutrition program?
Bro, that is sweet. What do you bench?
Well, I certainly applaud anyone wanting to do a hundred pushups, but take it from this old gym rat, I’ve spent my entire adult life in the gym, and a program like this one can do more harm than good.
If you only train one part of your body (and that’s all a single exercise like pushups is going to do for you), you’re setting yourself up for injuries down the road. I’ve seen it a hundred times.
It’s like putting a powerful engine in a stock Toyota Tercel. What will you accomplish? You’ll blow out the drive train, the clutch, the transmission, etc., because those factory parts aren’t designed to handle the power of an engine much more powerful than the factory installed engine.
Push-ups basically only train the chest muscles and to some extent, the triceps. What you really want to do is train your entire body, all the major muscle groups (chest, back, abdomen, legs, shoulders and arms) at the same time, over the course of a workout. And don’t forget your cardiovascular work!
I’m proud of you guys wanting to do this. Three cheers! Falling in love with exercise, eating right, etc., is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. And you WILL fall in love with it if you can just force yourself to stick with it a year or two and experience the amazing progress you’ll make.
But do it right, okay?
My advice, find a good gym, with qualified trainers who will design your programs for you (especially in the beginning, until you get the hang of it yourself) and guide you in your quest for physical fitness. Thirty to 45 minutes a day, three days a week, is all you’ll ever need to do (I refuse to believe anyone is so busy that he or she cannot make time for that, especially considering how important it is).
And don’t worry about being embarrassed or not being in shape the first time you walk into the gym. You have to start somewhere and almost every one of us were there ourselves at one time. So no one will say anything to you and very, very quickly you will progress way beyond that stage anyway.
Now get out there and do it! 🙂
hey buddy im usually trolling on this site but this time im so serious…. tl;dr was invented for you take your holier than thou attitude and fuck yourself no one on this site wants to ever hear your rants you mental midget
You have two options:
1 – Give us cliff notes on that garbage
or
2 – drive off of a cliff
Buddy, Your on the wrong site. We don’t read long winded shit.
Uh, a pushup is a great all-around exercise. Works out the core, chest and arms.
I bench your sister as soon as I finish.
It was a serious question. No need to be a dick.
Honey, is meatloaf ok for dinner??
you answered your own question: you don’t have kids. also, the more involved your occupation is, the less likely you are able to find time at the gym.
wiggins is shootin around 45% , but still is underperforming based on his hype imo…but i dont think they are gonna go for him…im thinking parker, or even embiid and a free agent signing so they have two bigs (embiid and noel) to better match up with or overpower other teams in the east
Is that the Cuz?
Side note: Cant Comcast be sued for being a monopoly simply for this?
1. Owning the Flyers
2. Owning the rights to broadcast them (which is a no-brainer…”Hey as owner (Comcast) of the Flyers, who should we partner with to broadcast the team? How about ourselves? We own a sports network! YEAH!”)
3. Owning the distribution. (“Hey, where should we sell our sports network content to? Wait, we own a cable provider/broadband ISP as well?! Holy shit – no one can touch us!” Fuck competition)
How can you compete with that? They should be forced to break up one or all parts of that trifecta.
United States antitrust law is a collection of federal and state government laws, which regulates the conduct and organization of business corporations, generally to promote fair competition for the benefit of consumers. The main statutes are the Sherman Act 1890, the Clayton Act 1914 and the Federal Trade Commission Act 1914. These Acts, first, restrict the formation of cartels and prohibit other collusive practices regarded as being in restraint of trade. Second, they restrict the mergers and acquisitions of organizations which could substantially lessen competition. Third, they prohibit the creation of a monopoly and the abuse of monopoly power.
Technically comcast spectacor and not comcast corporation owns the flyers, so they probably get away with it on a technicality. Also CSN was previously owned by comcast spectacor as well. It’s not uncommon for a sports franchise to own and broadcast games on its own network. That’s not really a monopoly.
The stuff about owning 1/3 of the cable and media market is a whole different story but I don’t think you can say they’re a monopoly based on the fact that they own a majority in a company that owns the flyers.
As someone old enough (55) to remember the nightmare that was the 1972-73 season when the Sixers won all of nine games, and believe me, they were damn lucky to have managed THAT many wins, today’s kennel of mutts doesn’t begin to match up with that horror show from 40 years ago. So, Kyle, why are you whining? Everyone with one working brain cell knew the Sixers were going to be hideous, that was the plan from the moment Sam Hinkie traded Jrue Holliday on draft night, all those years of treading water in the limbo of .500 purgatory got this team nowhere, the only way to improve, given the crazy ass way the NBA operates was to nuke the whole thing and start over from the ground up. That’s what Hinkie has done, sure, the current product is unwatchable, but that was what fans bought into and expected. Can it get worse? Maybe, but again, that’s all part of the plan. Deal with it.
Well said Flash
Well, at least those seats look comfortable!
That dancer in the bottom left…..she would get it.
I forgot how awful Willa Ford was. So much autotune
Chris there isn’t a popular singer around that isn’t an autotune princess (Katy Perry, Beyonce,etc) its why they never sing live. Just shake your tits and lip sync. Not that I’m complaining mind you
Nothing better than an overweight balding guy with a fohawk
The Sixers are a lock for one of the top five picks in the NBA draft. However, they are absolutely not tanking. I know tanking when I see it. Comcast did give me a job.
Nick Kayal still is the worse on Philadelphia radio period
Sorry bro,that title belongs to Josh Innes.
This is tankTAStic!
Nice throwback on Willa Ford… Wonder what she looks like now?