Picture from Finland game

Picture from Finland game

Not a good day for Russia. Its hockey team lost. Yulia Lipnitskaya fell. And Zinetula Bilyaletdinov might get eaten.

Speaking to reporters before presumably being whisked off to face a firing squad, Bilyaletdinov had some sad things to say. Transcriptions via the Wall Street Journal [edited from full-length version]:

Q: Is this a catastrophe?

A: This has certainly been an unsuccessful appearance.

Q: [Inaudible]

A: Let’s not play with words. I told you, we were unsuccessful. Call it what you will.

Q: What future, if any, do you see for your own work and for your coaching staff? Because, you know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics—

A: Well then, eat me alive right now—

Q: No, I mean—

A: Eat me, and I won’t be here anymore.

Q: But we have the world championship coming up!

A: Well then, there will be a different coach because I won’t exist any more, since you will have eaten me.

Q: But you’re staying, aren’t you?

A: Yes, I will remain living.


via Deadspin