Voila_Capture 2014-02-18_10-26-47_AMI stopped just short of writing Miley Cyrus, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Pussy Riot in that headline so I could really get the SEO popping on this bad boy. Hermione. Olympics. House of Cards. Jimmy Fallon.

There, that should do it.

Today is the day you try to convince your wife that you appreciate “art” and good photography, otherwise known as the day the SI Swimsuit Issue is released. SI has done a great job over the years of evolving the Swimsuit Issue (I always capitalize that shit around here) from a purely print publication to an interactive online experience. And as such, we get videos. Lots and lots and lots of good videos. There are pictures, too. Good ones. Sexy ones. I won’t use them here because I don’t want to get sued. But we can embed the videos. And bed embed them we shall.

Videos after the jump. This is why the terrorists hate us, folks.

Alex Morgan

PAINT


The straight male body painter is the single greatest professional glitch job in America.

“What do you do?”

“Oh, I smooth a non-toxic water-based substance on super model vaginas. It pays the bills.”

Kate Upton sans gravity

I think this is what Kubrick was aiming for all along.