Russia Plans on Whoring Its Women’s Hockey Players Out to Men’s Team

Never let a good opportunity go to waste. Seize the day. Grab… the rich Russian hockey player by the horn and swing, wildly.

According to a report by our old friend Steve Whyno of the Canadian Press – whose outlet is the early winner in ridiculous Sochi stories – Russian Women’s Hockey coach Mikhail Cheknovoakokvovokcovokvockvookookvhokvokvhokov is encouraging – facilitating! – liaisons between his players and the men’s team, which is set to arrive in Sochi soon. Chekodkovovovhovhvokovovkov told the Canadian Press that “all of a sudden somebody might fall in love” if their are “evening walks” together are successful. And, you know, this:

Chekanov plans to talk to men’s coach Zinetula Bilyaletdinov about getting the teams together for off-ice activities. Russia’s men’s players from the KHL are set to arrive Saturday, while those from the NHL are expected to land Monday.

If Chekanov gets his wish, he thinks it would help everyone amid a pressure-packed tournament.

“The boys could talk to the girls and unload some of their emotional weight,” he told the news service.

Unload… some of their emotional weight. Somewhere, the father of a Russian women’s hockey player is sobbing in a corner.


12 Responses

  1. Yo Kyle please keep a pulse on this sochi bullshit – I love these posts. It’s fascinating, and hard to find one place that’s keeping tabs on this nonsense.

    I could read about fat reporters getting shit accommodations all day.

  2. This is karma for most of these “reporters”, who should take inventory of their body of work, and put it in the bin provided.

  3. “Whoring”? Quite a leap from the actual story and quotes, yes? Since when did CB become FOX News?

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