SOCHI PILLOW SHORTAGE!
“Attention, dear colleagues! Due to an extreme shortage of pillows for athletes who unexpectedly arrived to Olympic Village in the mountains, there will be a transfer of pillows from all apartments to the storehouse on 2 February 2014. Please be understanding. We have to help the athletes out of this bind.”
1) Knowing that things are sometimes lost in translation, we’ll just let that “athletes who unexpectedly arrived” thing go. We’re assuming organizers knew athletes were coming to the Olympic Games… yes? Maybe? Maybe not.
2) “A transfer of (Russian villager!) pillows” to word-class athletes. I get skeeved out when a 4-star hotel leaves a makeup stain on even one of the 22 firmness options they present you with. I’m mouth-vomiting at the thought of the poor soul who’ll unwittingly lay their lil head atop Olgvagias pillow before the biggest day of their life. SLEEP WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED, YOUNG OLYMPIAN! MOUTH CLOSED!
But I suppose the Sochi Pillow Share is better than: