SOCHI PILLOW SHORTAGE!

imageA recently discovered notice posted by an Olympics caterer late last week pleads – PLEADS! – with volunteers to part with…. their pillows. Because the athletes need them.

Vocativ discovered translated the message:

“Attention, dear colleagues! Due to an extreme shortage of pillows for athletes who unexpectedly arrived to Olympic Village in the mountains, there will be a transfer of pillows from all apartments to the storehouse on 2 February 2014. Please be understanding. We have to help the athletes out of this bind.”

Two things:

1) Knowing that things are sometimes lost in translation, we’ll just let that “athletes who unexpectedly arrived” thing go. We’re assuming organizers knew athletes were coming to the Olympic Games… yes? Maybe? Maybe not.

2) “A transfer of (Russian villager!) pillows” to word-class athletes. I get skeeved out when a 4-star hotel leaves a makeup stain on even one of the 22 firmness options they present you with. I’m mouth-vomiting at the thought of the poor soul who’ll unwittingly lay their lil head atop Olgvagias pillow before the biggest day of their life. SLEEP WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED, YOUNG OLYMPIAN! MOUTH CLOSED!

But I suppose the Sochi Pillow Share is better than:
https://twitter.com/germanotes/status/431139998768046080

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12 Responses

  1. Haven’t they had 4 years to prepare for this? The pictures of this place are stomach-churning. Looks like the whole place is a slum.

  2. Jezus bashing hotels has fast become the first Olympic sport, let the games begin! I’m rooting for that fat chick from Chicago who looks like she ate Lindsay Vonn.

  3. In Soviet Russia, toilet flushes you!!

    Seriously though how are they this unprepared for all of the athletes? It’s like Borat is fucking hosting them in Kazakhstan.

  4. And how many members of the IOC did Putin pay off to snag the Winter games? Christ on a crutch, what a clusterfuck things are over in Sochi! And this is probably only scratching the surface.

  5. My Dad could fix this mess. He saved the Salt Lake City games from disaster and financial ruin!

  6. I’ve had a few good laughs over the flops in Sochi myself, even being a Russian. Let’s consider though that the it wasn’t just the village they had to build, but also the railroad through the mountains, and port and slopes and yes.. basically the entire site. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was it built in 7 years. It normally takes a few years to build a single structure and here we are talking about a whole town with a freakin’ railroad. ‘Unexpected arrival’ is actually ‘unplanned’ if translated correctly, so either more than the communicated number of athletes showed up or they are just saving their faces, yes. After 3 years of working in US manufacturing industry though, i can tell you their’s plenty to laugh about here as well, after you get done being pissed off about stuff. With all that said, i’ll go back to laughing at my Russian country folk and get pissed off at all the screw ups at work – not always easy to laugh at f**k ups when they happen right in front of your nose..

  7. Lol.. 1 other thing – i remember an exchange student from princeton prep once came to our russian school with his own pillow, thinking Russians didn’t have them. we laughed at him then 🙂 especially since ours were all with down feathers and his was synthetic. that was a looong time ago.

    1. If they had to build the whole friggin city then, maybe, idk, DONT BID ON HOSTING THE OLYMPICS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! Greedy commies.

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