DeSean Jackson’s Instagram Becomes to the Greatest Source of DeSean Jackson News

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People have given me shit the last couple years for covering DeSean’s Instagram as much as I have. But this is why. One day DeSean was going to post something legitimately important and newsworthy and someone was going to need to translate it. It’s all fun and games until you actually need to know what he’s saying.

To his credit, DeSean’s Grams have always worked on many levels. This one is no different. Do we take the ridiculous picture of Chip to mean that Jackson thinks he’s nob? Do we take Big Chip to be some sort of fat joke? DeSean says the picture speaks for itself and he asks us to say or hear what we want. How Kubrick of him. But, like the True Detective finale, it’s the simplistic conclusion – Winner BirdGaNg !! – that is the real meaning of this post: dude chooses the Eagles. BIRD GANG YA HERR?

But the best part is Eagles writers trying to translate D-Jac speak:

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  • PlanoGotLoveforYaMikeyMess!! March 25, 2014 at 8:09 am

    Les Bowen is a hack. I don’t know how he’s still employed. They might as well replace him with (Sean) Brace.

  • Stick Stickley March 25, 2014 at 8:15 am

    Djacks is a total twat but our offense is better with him than without him. Glad to see he is staying put.

  • William Rhodes March 25, 2014 at 8:24 am

    Chip’s call. He’s running the personnel show on offense and if he thinks he’s better off without DJax, I trust him.

    But this may have something to do with DeSean telling one of his friends to rob his own house so that he could get reimbursed by his insurance company.

    • A Father's Dream Of Free Money March 25, 2014 at 9:37 am

      He definitely robbed himself. He’s going to produce a documentary soon about how his dead father taught him how to commit insurance fraud, and how proud he’d be of him if he were still here.

  • Was this all a bluff? March 25, 2014 at 8:29 am

    Was this all designed to break DJax?

    Meaning, was this a big ruse for Chip to get some major concessions out of DJax, in regards to his attytood & behavior?

    Did they force him to swear his loyalty to the Birds under the threat of being cut mid-season with a very public dishonorable discharge designed to make him unsignable???

    • William Rhodes March 25, 2014 at 8:38 am

      I’ve wondered if this was a “scared straight” attempt, but to have other teams in on it seems a little overly elaborate.

      More likely they realized he has little to no trade value and they will just end up keeping him.

      • Mike A March 25, 2014 at 9:03 am

        They still could’ve done it without letting the other teams in on it. They may have legitimately sought what kind of value he’d garner, without planning on pulling any triggers.

  • Fran Dunphy March 25, 2014 at 8:50 am

    I think Chip Kelly should make every effort to patch things up with Desean Jackson. Otherwise, he’s opening himself up to accusations of being a racist (keeping Riley Cooper, cutting Jackson), and possible legal action from Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

    Chip has a real opportunity to promote racial harmony (as Jeff Lurie did a few years ago with Mike Vick). I hope he doesn’t blow it.

    • Ray Cyst March 25, 2014 at 10:55 am

      Can Al Sharpton play nose tackle, Dunph?

      I can handle Jesse Jackson. Just keep John Chaney away from me. He’s a crazy man. You know, my predecessor, the guy who threatened to kill Calipari. That wasn’t racist at all, was it?

      If the roles were reversed and it was Calipari that had threatened to kill Chaney, do you think he would have been fired?

      Ray Cyst accusations work both ways.

    • Temple Sucks March 25, 2014 at 11:22 am

      I hardly think we need to take advise on race relations from this clown Dunphy who is a major fail at his day job.

      • Fran Dunphy March 25, 2014 at 3:36 pm

        I wonder if it’s Kyle who mimics people’s handles to make it seem like they’re saying things that they’re not.

        Since he’s already been accused of creating Facebook profiles for Phillies players and then commenting on his own site in order to garner more page hits when the site was young.

        I do think Kyle is blind and racist, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think Jesse Jackson is a fucking idiot. For the record.

        • Marcus Vik March 25, 2014 at 5:41 pm

          You needs to chill out man! You’re entirely too serious about yourself and this blog.

          First you say sumpin nice (further up), then you comes back all cranky-like, likes you had a bad day on the job. (Oh wait, you did – all year long.)

  • Greg March 25, 2014 at 8:54 am

    1.) that picture is awesome 2.) consistently applaud your d jacc improv

  • Tom Merchant March 25, 2014 at 8:55 am

    Just cut this pain in the ass. Tired of the whack pack eagles reporters reporting every time d Jac or chip took a shit

  • Calm down March 25, 2014 at 9:05 am

    Y’all guys need to bring it down a notch. I know there’s not much else going on locally, but at least make an attempt.

  • Lighthouse March 25, 2014 at 9:31 am

    C’mon Kyle, read the Djacc post. Note how he capitalizes the B and the I in BIg. Is he calling our single coach ‘BI’?

    • Underwear Gnome March 25, 2014 at 10:26 am

      If you notice he capitalized only the following letters “GTBICSTPWBGN” which clearly sends a message.

      Step 1: Decipher the Code
      Step 2: ???
      Step 3: Profit

    • Themizer March 25, 2014 at 11:21 am

      That was my first thought.

  • Lumpy7 March 25, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Most unflattering NFL Coach photo ever, gotta go hide my kids.

    In other news, this is not news.

    • Andy Reid March 25, 2014 at 11:26 am

      I have some selfies that might make you change your mind.

  • #JACCPOT #CHURCHSCHICKENS March 25, 2014 at 10:17 am

    Chip is clearly sending a message to Michael Sams with this picture.

  • CM March 25, 2014 at 10:30 am

    To me all this shows is how bad the media is at reporting. Aside from Kyle, bc hes not an Eagles/NFL reporter, these guys cant get answers on anything for what, 10 days now. its pathetic. All they do is just speculate on what they think is happening.

  • Daily News is Retarded March 25, 2014 at 11:46 am

    So wait. The complete, media induced, “questionable use of quotation” riddled, anonymous and likely fake sources abound, issue that desean was no longer a good fit was not true at all? The media lied to me to create gossip and drama within the NFL?

    Absence of an answer from a an entity is not a response to the original question. I thought reporters were supposed to be fact based. Can’t wait to go on and not see 4 articles at any point in time talking about likely landing spots and the likelihood of cutting him.

    Let’s get to the real issue. Next year, our season will be one cheap shot on Foles away from the Sanchize taking the reigns! Can’t wait to nab by butt fumbler jersey.

  • InChipWeTrust March 25, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    honestly, we need more fake Jaccpot instagram posts, but include completely inaccurate handles in them like he does such as @yaboichip or @chipadelphia like he did with Kendrick Lamar

  • Product placement March 25, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    When you decipher the coded message it clearly reads….buy another G shirt from kyle

  • Will March 29, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    F all haters

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