Apparently This Guy Stole the Hat Trick Hats, But Ogie Ogilthorpe Took Care of It

Kyle Scott - April 30, 2014

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Maybe the weirdest email I’ve received:

Funny scene down on the glass in 116 last night. In the hailstorm of hats raining down on the front rows after Simmond’s third goal, one assclown started hoarding hats under his seat instead of flipping them over the glass like the rest of us. A few minutes later, after he thought he got away with it, suddenly a redhead in an Ogie Ogilthorpe jersey seated nearby administers a verbal beatdown on him. The guy flips her off and yells “Honey I can buy you five times over!”, so she whips out her phone and says “Well now you’ll need to buy Deadspin and Bleacher Report as well [editor’s note: and Crossing Broad?]”. The dude goes ballistic, all “cunty cunt” and whatnot, so she turns to all the fans behind her and yells, “This loser stole a bunch of Simmer’s hats!”. Well now some very large and pissed fans start stepping towards him, so he and his buds start throwing the hats all over while fleeing and a group of dudes in their finest Flyers jerseys literally chase him out of the arena. That’s why there was a little flurry of hats that hit the ice when the Zamboni was out between 2nd and 3rd periods. Lesson: Never mess with a Flyers redhead in an Ogie jersey.

Her photo and my photo attached

You’re not kidding, tipster. When a sentence contains a redhead in an Ogie Ogilthorpe jersey, you know the situation has gone sour. You best run before bitch gets cray cray. But I Respect the Spunk™ for sure. Good looking out, Ogie.

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I blurred his face because, eh, I probably would’ve tried to come away with a souvenir, too, if I was in his position.


  • wat April 30, 2014 at 10:42 am

    You would have what? Tried to gank a free hat?

    • Marvin Monroe April 30, 2014 at 11:32 am

      “Gank” is a perfectly cromulent word.

  • wat April 30, 2014 at 10:46 am

    Throwing your 10 to 40 dollar hat on the ice, that’s a sacred sacrifice to the hockey gods. If I was in that row this would be a story about me getting dragged out of the stadium with some of that guys scalp in my hand

  • Second Opinion April 30, 2014 at 10:47 am

    I heard he gave up the hats when Chief Swamptown and his little tomahawk showed up.

  • Blumpkin April 30, 2014 at 10:49 am

    Kyle, I have a great idea. How about making some Wayne Train hats? Get on it.

    • Juniata Ray April 30, 2014 at 11:46 am

      That’s definitely the next shirt on sale if they can pull Game 7 out tonight.

  • Candy from the Oak April 30, 2014 at 10:51 am

    By saying simmers the girl is probably a single mom and has her real name on the back of her winter classic jersey

    • Hop Devil April 30, 2014 at 10:52 am


    • d-money April 30, 2014 at 11:23 am


      • 3 Finger Lenny April 30, 2014 at 11:50 am

        She looks like she’s a huge nickleback fan

  • Sheckler April 30, 2014 at 10:56 am

    This is the equivalent of stealing a foul ball from a kid sitting next to you.

    It’s just about 100% guaranteed that one of those hats was flung by some 9 year old kid with a noodle arm from the upper deck. Bravo to the people sitting around him.

    This entire hockey game last night sounds fucking crazy from a fan’s perspective. The entire crowd embraced a self policing and very darwinist approach.


  • Chance- VP of the GnA Falcons April 30, 2014 at 10:58 am

    She looks like an annoying cunt who is always the loudest person in the room

  • Candy from the Oak April 30, 2014 at 11:03 am

    By the look of the seat/angle it would be a hassle to get over the mesh

  • Candy from the Oak April 30, 2014 at 11:04 am

    I can see the father of her kids being black n prob in jail

  • Kunt Vonnegunt April 30, 2014 at 11:04 am

    What a fucking tool. If someone loudly brags about being rich in a public setting I think that’s pretty much the “all clear” for the peasant mob to beat the fucking piss out of him.

    • mike April 30, 2014 at 1:09 pm

      +1 for comment, +10 for name

      • Sal Pal's Navy Uniform April 30, 2014 at 3:20 pm

        I agree

  • Jimbo April 30, 2014 at 11:05 am

    This guy is a piece of shit! If he’s so rich then why’s he taking the hats thatsome of us less fortunate people tried throwing on the ice in celebration to simmer!

    • Quorin Halfdick April 30, 2014 at 11:28 am

      There are plenty of cheap rich fucks. One of the owners of a company I used to work for got caught going back to the table and skimming the community tip when someone remembered they had left their phone on the table.

  • Budweiser April 30, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Good job on the blurred face. He looks to be about 52 and most likely has a family.

  • Red April 30, 2014 at 11:15 am

    Who the hell would want to keep hats from strangers? Considering some of the grooming habits, or lack thereof, of people, I’d toss that shit like it was on fire

  • PAC April 30, 2014 at 11:19 am

    That guy is alright in my book.

  • Mr. Ed Snider's Taint April 30, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Chick is definitely from delco

  • d-money April 30, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Never trust a man in a fleece vest.

  • Mr. Miyagi April 30, 2014 at 11:27 am

    Let me get this straight: Kyle and Scrooge McDuck in the front row both think it’s OK (or sanitary) to keep for themselves a hat someone else is ready to throw away.

  • Echo April 30, 2014 at 11:27 am

    The blurring makes the dude like NYR former coach John Tortorella … or is that just me? lol

  • AL Tru April 30, 2014 at 11:30 am

    I LOATHE pretentious arrogant condescending rich fucks.
    call an anonymous tip to the IRS on him and his accountant.



  • Junkhead April 30, 2014 at 11:39 am

    I picture her looking like the band camp chick from American Pie.

  • FREE KWAME!!! April 30, 2014 at 11:44 am

    Can we confirm whether or not this is Hanratty’s girlfriend?

  • Reality April 30, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Like buzzfeed or deadspin would want any part if this. Only this blog would find it newsworthy enough to post. On another note, most people who brag in public about how rich they are, aren’t at all.

    • For the sake of the game, they oughta throw him in San Quentin. April 30, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      You’re kidding right? If that jamoke tried to leave with an armful of lids pilfered from a playoff hat trick this story would be everywhere. Kinda wish he’d tried it, what’s the record for ass-whoopings at a single game?.

  • Catch a damned pass April 30, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    True Story : I bought a hat yesterday afternoon and wore it to the game, then had to throw it. First chance I ever had, didn’t think twice.

  • Rocky April 30, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Section 118 a father and son sitting and the dad took a nice looking Flyers hat for his son. Really,,,,go buy a freaking hat…those were for Simmonds jerk.

  • what a tool April 30, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    …no doubt this ass is a “professional”….likely an attorney

    • AL Tru April 30, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      Q. Why do lawyers wear ties ?

      A. to stop the foreskin from rising up.

  • Marty April 30, 2014 at 4:59 pm

    Good choice in blurring the guys face, since like, he can buy people 5 times over and all

  • Kathy May 1, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    This guy is a major douche!!!!! He doesn’t deserve to have his face blurred out. Expose him for the asswipe that he is! PLEASE!!!!!

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