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I know that yesterday I posted about Majestic jerseys, and I swear this isn’t some sort of MLB guerilla marketing effort. But this, this is how you get positive publicity. You don’t send a press release telling people to buy your overpriced product that looks weird in most everyday contexts. No, you send an email promoting your overpriced product that used to look weird in most everyday contexts but now won’t because you’re New Era and you’ve introduced new LOW CROWN FITTED 59FIFTY HATS.

Sayyyyyy whhhhhhatttt?

Finally. I don’t know why this has taken them so long, but they’ve done it. You no longer have to be a rapper, Mac Miller or from Lower Delco* to wear one of these bad boys. New Era is now selling authentic fitted MLB caps without the ridiculously large crown and flat brim that were only present to A) look good on TV and B) keep the sun of players’ eyes. We’re not players and most of us aren’t on TV.

I got this email this morning and, quite frankly, it prolonged morning wood:

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Product description:

Low crown on-field cap with pre-curved visor is made with enhanced performance fabric, sweatband, and undervisor.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I own, like, eight fitted Phillies caps because every time I buy one, I think that this will be the time it actually fits and doesn’t make me look like an albino penis. And every time I’m wrong. Every time I look like an albino penis. Hell, I bought both World Series caps and told myself I was going to keep buying them in perpetuity until the Phillies stopped making the World Series, a $35 tariff for Postseason success that I was happy to pay. Well, there were no more World Series and no more hats. But if they make it this year… well, now I can wear it. You can grab yours here.**

*Grew up in Delco. Can make these jokes.

*And yes, that is an affiliate link and I get a small commission for referring the sale. But I’m buying one, maybe more, myself, too.