This May Be the Most Pathetic Article to Ever Appear on Philly.com

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And for an outlet (company) that employs Marcus Hayes, that’s saying something.

I don’t know enough about Inquirer utility man Marc Narducci to have an opinion about his work. But I know that what appeared on Philly.com early Sunday morning was quite possibly the most pathetic article to ever appear on the site.

Posted at 1:03 a.m. on Sunday, Narducci’s simplistic story about Jimmy Rollins batting second read like it was written by a sixth grader, and there were grammar mistakes aplenty.

Let’s just excerpt some of this baby. I took the liberty of editing for Marc, since no one else did:

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Look, as someone who makes plenty of typos, I can understand why this happens. This piece was likely written late on Saturday night at Citizens Bank Park. Mistakes are bound to happen. Once you read your own work twice your eyes see what they want to see and you miss even the most basic of errors. But I’m one guy and don’t have an editor. I am not the largest newspaper and website in the country’s fourth largest market. A place like that… should have an editor, especially for content turned in late at night. The edits I made for Marc aren’t even content and syntax edits… they’re of basic and glaring mistakes that would’ve been picked up by anyone giving the article a once-over. There’s literally no excuse for a major publication to not have someone looking at stuff like this before it goes live.

What’s worse, though, is how terrible and simplistic the article is. Narducci clearly had to write a story– so he chose Rollins. That’s fine. But what could’ve been said in three paragraphs – that Rollins is off to a good start in the two-hole – took 634 boring words which formed rudimentary thoughts like: Jimmy is playing well (and) doing a great job. He is swinging the bat and setting the tone at the top of the order. Those two sentences read like they were written by a sixth grader. But Narducci isn’t a sixth grader. Narducci, according to his Philly.com bio, “has become an all-around utility player, covering the Super Bowl, the NBA All-Star Game, assorted Phillies games and the end of the hockey lockout.”

I feel somewhat bad for Narducci because had an editor read this, an article written late on a Saturday night, it would’ve been fixed and probably would’ve gone unnoticed in the endless stream of nonsensical sports content. But nope. It went live without a second set of eyes, and now, 34 hours later, still exists in its original form on Philly.com. Embarrassing.

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41 Comments

  • Dick Foriel April 14, 2014 at 11:42 am

    What’s more pathetic …the fact this article was written or that you took the time to critque it?

    Reply
  • Kyle Scott April 14, 2014 at 11:44 am

    Or the fact that you took time to comment on it?

    Reply
    • Davis April 14, 2014 at 11:57 am

      uhhh, don’t they have editors that read stuff before it is posted or printed? and they wonder

      Reply
    • JeffJuden April 14, 2014 at 11:59 am

      No, Kyle’s is more pathetic. He took the time to write dissect this guy’s article. These comments take a second. Now, please reply with some smarmy response about incremental revenue.

      Reply
      • Jaccpot April 14, 2014 at 12:06 pm

        have you ever been to his blog before?

        Reply
      • Koy Detmer's Neck Beard April 14, 2014 at 2:40 pm

        “He took the time to write dissect this guy’s article.”.

        Not even a sentence. What the hell are you trying to say here? Come on, skippy, if you’re gonna rip someone, don’t make yourself look like an idiot.

        Reply
    • Pete April 14, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      ZING!!!

      Reply
    • Kyle Scott, Editor in Chief April 14, 2014 at 6:29 pm

      I read the article and even though I didn’t notice a lot of the errors, the 6 1.3 certainly caught my eye. I have never seen 6 1/3 written that way. By the way, I hate Rollins, not sure why I even read it.

      Reply
    • mike April 15, 2014 at 12:54 am

      Or the fact that you pass this off as original content?

      Reply
  • Dis Dood April 14, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Did you see the @BroadStBull article today? Complete lol after I read it

    Reply
  • Candy from the Oak April 14, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Ghostwriter must be black

    Reply
  • airedale April 14, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Kyle, you overestimate the quality of sports writing in Philly. Yes this was a notable failure, but many of the major writers are routinely unable to avoid cliches, mis-place apostrophes and insist on ending a piece with a stupidly unclever sentence that is neither ironic nor insightful. Amateurish.

    Twitter, with 140 characters, actually makes the PhillySportsScribes think about the words and improves several of their output.

    Reply
  • Mumbly Stairs April 14, 2014 at 11:59 am

    Guy must have written that on his cell while laying in bed. Luckily no one reads that site.

    Uncle Chuck should have had the backbone to drop Strollins down a few years ago.

    Kyle how about a count of how many times Schmidt complained about the state of modern baseball yesterday?

    Reply
  • Webster April 14, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Agree with the first post. This is a sports blog, stick to the basics. No one wants to read an article critiquing grammar errors of Philly.com and their shitty stories.

    Reply
    • Koy Detmer's Neck Beard April 14, 2014 at 2:42 pm

      You’d think a guy named Webster would care more about grammar and spelling 😉

      Reply
  • Jay Grace April 14, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Narducci sucks

    Reply
  • Mumia's Innocent Left Nipple April 14, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    I bet Narducci can write with his penis and Kyle is jealous of it.

    Reply
    • Mumia's GUILTY left nipple April 14, 2014 at 12:19 pm

      On this site, it is a dick, not a penis. Now die, already, cop killer.

      Reply
  • 5th Grade English Teacher April 14, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    This shit happens all the time in both paper and on the site, and not just sports.

    Reply
  • Birdman Of Alcatraz April 14, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    Gee Kyle. Must really be a slow news day to nit pick this dumb shit!

    Reply
  • Ike Reese April 14, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    And, don’t forget Jon and Sean are on from 2-6….that’s so special…Fuck

    Reply
    • Murray from Mayfair April 14, 2014 at 12:36 pm

      Which means those 2 Mike Miss flunkies will turn Philly sports radio into the tmz gossip hour,talking everything but actual sports.

      GO DODGERS!

      Reply
      • Ike Reese April 14, 2014 at 1:09 pm

        And they were in Vegas this weekend, so it will be four nonstop hours of bullshit about how great their week-end was. Think I will take a nap then mow the lawn, starting at 2. As bad as Skippy and Lippy will be, still can’t listen to Gargano.

        Reply
        • Sean from Pinehill April 14, 2014 at 1:34 pm

          Why the fuck does 97.5 send those 2 punks to Vegas every couple months

          Reply
          • Nick Kayal's show that gets cancelled for every 76ers and Flyers game April 14, 2014 at 1:53 pm

            Because they are so fucking annoying that it is worth the expense just to get them out of the studio for a day.

  • Cap'n Comma April 14, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    That’s what I’m talking about, Kyle!

    Reply
  • possessive form of doesn't = doesn't' April 14, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    why does everyone forget about me?! It’s my matter!

    Reply
  • step 3: make her open the box April 14, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    It should say “Tony Gwynn Jr (has been).”

    Reply
  • MICHAEL BARKANN April 14, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    WHY WASN’T KACIE INCLUDED IN THE POOL OF 64?

    .

    Reply
    • Kacie McDonnell's Horse Teeth April 14, 2014 at 4:52 pm

      We did this already

      Reply
  • FlyersIn7 April 14, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    The inconsistency comment is incorrect. Stating “No. 2 hole” and using “two hole” in a quote is acceptable. It would look strange if it said “No. two hole.” Best way to put it is probably “number two hole” and leave out the abbreviation entirely. Of all the mistakes in here though that’s one ding that was not deserved.

    Is anyone going to take a red pen to Kyle’s posts?

    Reply
  • proofreader April 14, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    Kyle–

    To show a possessive for “Rollins” one would write “Rollins’s,” not “Rollins'” Your construction is used for a plural possessive.

    Reply
  • Cory Lidle Flying Lessons April 14, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    You consistently make the same grammer mistakes, like using “I” when you should be using “me.” Why would you criticize someone else?

    Reply
  • Cory Lidle Flying Lessons April 14, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    And at least that article wasn’t blurred out by gray lines…

    Reply
  • Al McGuire April 14, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    Man, and I thought I was scared by the grammar nuns. You got it all over all of us. Good job.

    Reply
  • danny ozark April 14, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    Great work kyle…very entertaining. ..

    Reply
  • danny ozark April 14, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    But that’s funny too by corey lidle re the gray lines thing

    Reply
  • Mike April 15, 2014 at 12:11 am

    Props for holding someone accountable for producing garbage.

    Reply
  • John Street’s Committee to Increase the IQ of Every Philadelphia April 15, 2014 at 1:13 am

    Why are we insisting on grammar here on this blog, when many low-IQ callers on the radio continually use words like “youse” and “them guys”?

    .

    Reply
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