And, yep, this is spectacular.
Credit to reader Brandon for the tip here– this a Craigslist post looking for “sexy exotic dancers, some escorts, and well built & discreet women over 18” for a MAJOR NFL PLAYER birthday party this weekend. The posting, before it’s removed:
There is a Major NFL Player Birthday party this Saturday, and we are looking for Sexy Exotic Dancers, some Escorts, and well built & discreet women over 18 that need to make some quick money. There will be mature, established, professional men attending this party. No Experience needed. If interested in working at the party, Email us with current Pics & a your Phone number. “Serious replies only, This is a ONE DAY Event “*
I am giddy.
A quick check of the Eagles’ roster shows that Bryan Braman, Jeremy Maclin, Lane Johnson and Bryce Brown all have birthdays coming up within the next week or so. Whomever it is, they’re being smart about it. I had an informant – HELLLLLLLO BOYYYS! – reach out and request details and the response simply said that it was a birthday party and that no further details would be given until they got pics, at which point, assuming the applicant passes that test, there will be a phone call.
This is how your baller sausage is made.