City Council Passes Resolution Daring Jon Stewart to Do a Week of Shows Here

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This has gone too far. Our reaction to Jon Stewart’s rant and subsequent apology has done the Hokey Pokey and turned itself around to the point where I’m not sure if people are genuinely bothered by his comments, find them hilarious, or were initially enraged by them but now totally cool about it because, hey, attention! Me me me! Us us us!

Whatever the case, Stewart’s angry New Yorker segment about Philadelphia, which, like most things Stewart does, was brilliant, has been proven right. Though he was pretty much speaking in character, the underlying thread – especially the cream cheese part – was that we have a massive inferiority complex, that we’re the Napoleon of cities even though we don’t need to be. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd our response to him played right into that theme.

I watch the show often and can’t recall a time when Stewart was compelled to lead the show with an apology for an earlier rant, as tongue-in-cheek as this one may have been. The whole thing is a joke, and most people get that, but he struck a nerve, with Philly, that he usually doesn’t strike with other targets. Stewart and his writers picked up on that. And it’s now reached the point where City Council (in a somewhat brilliant PR stunt) has passed a resolution “blasting Jon Stewart’s tirade against Philadelphia” and daring him to do a week of shows here:

Daring Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show, to come to Philadelphia and film a week of shows to prove how wrong he was in his May 20th tirade against Philadelphia, our people, our prized Philadelphia Phillies manager Ryne Sandberg, our affinity for running up museum stairs and calling it exercise, and our world class cuisine; his multiple rants against our City have finally gone too far.

WHEREAS, Jon Stewart’s May 20th tirade against Philadelphia accuses us of being idiots, obese, having terrible taste in food, slanderers, and a series of other expletives not safe for children; and

WHEREAS, Stewart was set off because Philadelphia Phillies manager Ryne Sandberg claims to have gotten food poisoning at a Shake Shack near Citi Field in Queens; and

WHEREAS, Using Sandberg’s stomach troubles as a rudimentary segue that a 3rd grade drama student could have thought up, Stewart catapulted into a full scale attack on our people, our reputation for being physically fit, our City, our character, and cheesesteak-eating way of life; and

WHEREAS, Stewart has apparently never been to Philadelphia, where a decade of development has transformed our dining and nightlife scenes into an abundant array of world class options that aren’t overrun with overpaid Wall Street j@#%offs and where you won’t need to sell your first born child to get a table; and

WHEREAS, While New York City has many wonderful sights and sounds, you simply cannot beat Philadelphia for the most passionate sports fans, more acres of parks and public murals than anywhere else in the country, a shockingly affordable cost of living, lack of crowded streets, and more American history than you can shake a stick at; and

WHEREAS, Jon Stewart should check himself when starts trash talking Philadelphia; last time we checked the Mets haven’t won the World Series in nearly thirty years; and

RESOLVED, BY THE COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF PHILADELPHIA, That Council dares Jon Stewart to film a week of episodes of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart here in Philadelphia so we can prove just how wrong he is; now, therefore, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That an Engrossed copy of this resolution be presented to Jon Stewart wrapped in either a cheesesteak or cannoli as evidence of the sincere sentiments of this legislative body.

Yeah, we played right into his hand… but it would be totally cool if he did a week of shows here.

The full resolution is after the jump.

H/T to (@MillerJonathanD)

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27 Responses

  1. Hey how about something about the actual Phillies?

    Darin Ruf, 27, most likely being sent down even though Dom Brown sucks butt?
    Buchanan called up to replace Lee in rotation?
    Revere dropped to 8th after 5 days riding pine because he blows at everything?
    Rollins passing Whitey?

    1. Jorts,

      It is Friday of the first summer long week-end.

      You are expecting reporting???

      Yeah, I am trolling a bit today. Off and bored.

    2. Ruf should be up and STAY up, platooning with Nose at first and getting some reps in LF…they should send Dom down to get his shit together in AAA (worked for Myers in ’08) …they should also strongly consider, although it’s Ruben and he fucking won’t, but taking a chance on bringing up Cam Perkins in AA right now who has consistently hit at every level to this point and have the outfield of LF Ruf, CF Byrd, RF Perkins…sounds like a terrible outfield, but Byrd can cover some ground and so can Perkins, live with it…RH bats to split up the lefties and take a chance now before this inevitably happens in September anyways

  2. Not sure how we played into his hand.
    This resolution was written by Jim Kenney, and was clearly as tongue-in-cheek as Stewart’s bit. No serious resolution uses “J$%&off” or offers to have itself wrapped in a cheesesteak. It actually shows we have a sense of humor too.

    It would be great if he did a week here.

    1. Agreed. Poking a bit of fun at Jon, getting some more media coverage for the city (you know Jon will respond to this somehow), keeping the city’s focus off of these suck ass Phillies!

  3. WHEREAS K@cie has hoarse teeth,
    WHEREAS she is also a gold-digger,
    WHEREAS Kyle lied about selling us out,
    WHEREAS we demand answers on the K@cie-gate cover-up,
    the mockery will continue until we have justice.

  4. I still dont understand Stewart’s cheese steak bit. He says “meat that people usually throw away”.

    while that’s entirely false, even if that meat was thrown away, wouldn’t that be the same meat later taken for NY’s “dirty water hot dogs” that prob have more diseases than Kris Jenner’s twat? Dontgetit

  5. “silence” (sticks out tongue, does the hokey pokey, then proceeds to bukakke all over an effigy of Jon Stewart)

  6. Ugh….I’m embarrassed for everyone that lives in the area over the ridiculous reaction to this Jon Stewart thing. When did we all lose our sense of humor. It was a joke! He’s a comedian! This is not a situation where a national sports writer (or other media pig) took a cheap shot at us for no reason by bringing up snowballs or D batteries or the jail in the Vet, we are rightfully get pissed about that constant bullshit. But this is a harmless joke and we’ve taken the reaction too far. The city counsel thing was funny and he may come down here for a week, that would be awesome. Right now though its embarrassing.

  7. What if this is all some kind of weird viral marketing campaign for a week of Philly shows that they’ve been trying to set up the whole time? Like, Sandberg getting food poisoning gave them the idea to “call out” Philly on the show and then this response from the City Counsel follows. Jon then “accepts” the challenge. A little far fetched but not out of the realm of possibility.

    1. Because no one gives a shit about Philadelphia on the national stage? LA, NYC, Chicago are the entertainment cities. Smaller, cooler, hip cities before Philadelphia: Austin, Portland, Savannah. We live in a filthy old murderhole that deserves no notice outside of the Liberty Bell and a sandwich.

      And we’re still better than Shitsburgh.

      1. Love it or leave it you fake Philly piece of shit! My former owner may be from New York and only roots for the Phillies when the Yankees suck but he will condemn you on a shitty morning show in between bites of a donut sandwich!

      2. “…deserves no notice outside of the Liberty Bell…”

        Yes, and now thanks to the generosity and benevolence of Philly’s esteemed mayor, the Pope now knows of the Liberty Bell. Every day, he gets to look at his SIX DOLLAR replica bell that Michael Nutbag presented as a gift.

        .

  8. I will make it this cities # 1 priority to make sure that Liberal Jit Stain bastard comes to Philadelphia and apologize. Even if it means I have to layoff more Police Officers and Firefighters. And the rest of the Febreeze wearing Cliffie’s on my staff challenge him to a knuckle dragging contest

  9. City Council is the biggest collection of time-wasting jerkoffs ever assembled. There’s plenty to be done in this city besides passing resolutions about every fan-boy object of those clowns’ desires.

    Oh, for the days when Lucien Blackwell and Milton Street were running things!

  10. Jon Stewart is one of the biggest liberal hypocrites there is. He ignores every lie pumped out by the democratic party and msnbc while telling jokes about republicans and foxnews who are only doing the same thing. The guys not funny he’s a hack.

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