Meet Sam Hinkie, “the Wolf of Broad Street”

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I knew there was a reason I liked fellow Villanovererererer and Devils CEO Scott O’Neil, who on the WIP Morning Show today referred to Sam Hinkie as…

“Given how aggressive the “Wolf Of Broad Street” is, has been on draft day, I imagine that the real drama unfolds January 24th, 25th, and 26th—I’m sorry June 24th, 25th, and 26th during the draft,” O’Neil told the WIP Morning Show on Tuesday.

O’Neil, who is bringing a folded two-dollar bill, a lucky penny, and three cocoa beans to the NBA draft lottery, used an interesting analogy to describe his emotions just hours before the event.

“It’s like when you’re daughter brings her boyfriend home,” O’Neil said.* “You’re half excited and half sick to your stomach.”

I like it, but there are of course two issues: 1) there’s a certain hockey player with that nickname (even though he promised to keep his beard and I printed shirts and then he shaved it two days later but people still bought it anyway because it’s an awesome shirt), and 2) Hinkie seems like the antithesis of Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in the similarly titled movie. But then again, both Hinkie and Leo are selling junk in an effort to throw crazy, ridiculous parties, and by crazy, ridiculous parties I mean parades on Broad Street that would feature even more public nudity and sex acts than the movie.

Still, to me Hinkie is more like a nerdy accountant who just got his crotch inexplicably grabbed by a whorish secretary in the break room and now he’s walking around with a little more confidence. Dare we call it swagger.

*Points to O’Neil for speaking in dating references. The Villanova is strong with him.

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11 Responses

  1. The fix is in,the nba will award picks 1 and 2 to the Lakers and Celtics.

    #conspiracytheoriesrtrue

    1. I wish I could say that your theory is crazy…I really do but we all know its happened before so….yea. We’re probably screwed. We’ll probably get the fifth pick or something while Boston get another goddamn superstar. If that happens all we can do is hope this one dies right after the draft too.

  2. Rollins is close to eclipsing Schmidt for all time Phillies hits. Do you think the last place team will interrupt the game and storm the field when it happens? If it happens at home on a Sunday do you think Schmidt will react by saying how much harder the game was when he played?

    1. come on, man. the game WAS much harder back then. they played on fuzzy concrete. today they play on cushy grass…pussies. lol

  3. hey Kyle, I bet you wish I was in your shithole apartment making breakfast for you wearing one of your sweatshop T-shirts. but I’m not. and no amount of alienating your readers or lying for me will change that. so nut up.

  4. Actually, KS is in his apartment enjoying a foot long purple dildo his Mom gave him for Halloween, or some such crap.

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